Its Been a Looooong Time

It has been such a long time I forgot how to log into this space!  But I have been thinking of some things and feel I really need to keep a note of some of these thoughts I am having so I can come back and refer to them if needed later.  Facebook is great for quick things, but you can't search for specific things very easily, even in your own posting.  So I might just have to remember to write things here for my own reasons.

A few weeks ago my nephew forwarded a letter he received from his missionary.  I enjoy reading about Bo's missionary experiences and I appreciate receiving these updates from DeVon.  On this particular day Bo wrote something that really touched me and made me think.  It really wasn't very profound, and when I went back and re-read it I wondered why that touched me so much the first time I read it.  I guess I just really needed it that day.

Bo was talking about a person they were teaching.  The investigator asked the equestion why his life seemed to get harder when he was doing everything right?  When he accepted the invitation to come unto Christ, it seemed to get harder.  It made Bo think of Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

We need to humble ourselves enough to become more like Christ so he can make our weaknesses strong points and, in the end, make us all stronger.  He helps us turn our weaknesses into our strong points, but first we must come unto Christ and humble ourselves.  He wrote, "So if you are wondering why many things seem to go wrong when you are doing the right things, just remember that it is so that we can become stronger and become more like Christ!"

All those 'church answers' like praying, paying tithing, going to the temple, those things might be hard for us to follow.  But I think the weaknesses that are more challenging are even bigger things, things that maybe are more personal things, like kindness, understanding, service, caring, humility itself, When we are struggling with hard things in our life, whatever it might be, we need to turn to Christ and allow Him to show us our weakness, then ask Him to show us ways we can overcome that weakness.

I have been trying so hard to do better at doing what I should, but it seems like I am constantly hit with certain problems that never go away.  I just can't get a certain part of my life in harmony with gospel teachings.  I feel at a loss of what to do.

I feel the Lord is showing me things I need to do to overcome this problem.  I 'think' I am humbling myself, asking and waiting for answers, and following the inspiration or thoughts I am receiving, but things still upset me.  It isn't so much that things go wrong, but that it is hard to do what is right when I am dwelling on my upset feelings and what has caused me to feel that way.  That is one of my weaknesses.  I allow my mind to dwell on things in the past that I cannot change and then that taints my view of the present.  I need to remember that God's grace is sufficient for all men, especially those I feel have wronged me.  He is giving me plenty of opportunities to work on this weakness.  Hopefully I will be able to overcome this weakness and learn to be kinder and more understanding.  I just wish it didn't take so long!

Compassion

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the word "Compassion."  Does it always mean to give a meal to someone?  To give a shoulder to cry on? Does it mean that someone is sad and someone listens to them?  Does it mean to be sad along with someone?  I looked up the word in an on-line dictionary (Are there many off-line dictionaries being used any more?) and found this definition:

Compassion is an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another; to show special kindness to those who suffer. Compassion essentially arises through empathy, and is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.

Compassionate acts are generally considered those which take into account the suffering of others and attempt to alleviate that suffering as if it were one’s own. In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are clearly based on the concept of compassion.Compassion differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.

OK. I can go along with that, especially the last sentence: its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.


Why is compassion such a difficult trait for some people to show? We learn from our church leaders that compassion is a sign of strength. So why are we so quick to judge someone who is in a poor situation, instead of showing compassion for them? Why do we just to "It was their own choice that got them here!" instead of feeling compassion and the desire to help them out of their suffering. And I don't mean to literally help them out of their suffering by handing over money to purchase food, or pay rent, or buy new clothes, or whatever might be helpful at the time. But many times all a person needs is to know that someone cares and is willing to listen.


An other factor of compassion would be when someone delays making a decision, or doesn't want things known to another person because of the ridicule they feel would come to them from someone that should love and care for them. As a Latter-Day Saint, is it so easy to be the person others think might ridicule them? It might happen more than we think. It is easy to think that our actions don't hurt others when, if we take a step back and place ourselves in the shoes of others, we might see that,yeah, maybe we are being a big harsh, and we need to alleviate the suffering, instead of defending our own feelings. After all, it isn't a sign of weakness.

I am still not sure that compassion must always be when someone is suffering. Remember when the scriptures told us to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those that need comfort"? Lately I have come to feel that we must show compassion for those who are happy as well. Why not rejoice when someone rejoices? Maybe I am missing a word here that I should remember, but when something good happens to someone else, shouldn't we be happy with them? Is "empathy" the right word for that, or does empathy mean to understand how someone feels when they are down or sad?


I have witnessed several times the last few weeks when someone has experienced something good, good in their own eyes. A blessing has happened in their lives, a goal reached, or a milestone approached. But there are some people who just can't rejoice with them. Instead, they secretly question or show a great lack of caring for the person. I don't understand this. Why not be happy for them?

I remember my dad telling of "a certain man lived in town" (Dad always taught in parables.) This man was able to purchase a new vehicle but most of his friends taunted him, ridiculed his choice of models, teased his ability to pay for it, etc. Dad learned a lesson at that time to just tell the man that he admired his ability to get this new vehicle. He rejoiced with him, let him talk about his new purchase. It didn't take anything away from Dad's life, but made the man happy for a few minutes. The man also left with more respect for Dad because he showed compassion to him.

In the scripture story about Joseph and his brothers, remember that Joseph had all the reasons in the world to feel bitter toward his brothers. They sold him away! They hated him! They lied about him! They wanted him gone. But when Joseph saw their condition, and knew he could help them, he showed compassion. He didn't wait for them to say they were sorry, and to beg his forgiveness. Joseph did what he knew he should do. He knew that God had placed him in a position to help his brothers. And he did what needed to be done.

I don't believe the Lord expects us to give of our stored food and all of our worldly gains in order to show compassion. But a simple kind word, an acknowledgment of a blessing, an invitation to associate with us goes a long way to showing compassion to others. Joseph did this by inviting his brothers to live near him, and he would nourish them. He didn't banish them to outer darkness. He didn't say "Only my father can come with me because he didn't sale me away." He looked at compassion on the suffering of his brothers and knew he was responsible for showing kindness to them.

If we are to liken the scriptures unto ourselves, should we show compassion for others by joining in with their joy? And letting them know we feel their happiness? Or should we ridicule others and cause them to feel ashamed because of our own high stature? Or should we look at those who may be caused us pain and invite them into our celebrations anyway, because that is what we should do? Or should we look at their situation and say "It is because of what they did?"

I having been thinking a lot about the trait of Compassion lately. I also found this to think about:

Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone.”

I don't know about you, but I need less stress in my life. However, I know that some people will think that by showing compassion and forgiveness more stress is caused in their lives. But the Lord has promised us peace when we are kind to others.

But there are other benefits as well, and these are emotional and spiritual. The main benefit is that it helps you to be more happy, and brings others around you to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. It is therefore of utmost importance that we cultivate compassion in our lives and practice compassion every day.

This article is great for teaching us how to develop compassion. It is a skill that needs to be practiced. Perhaps you might want to read it as well. Here is another article that I have been reading. Just some food for thought. But good food.

The best examples of compassion come from our Savior, Jesus Christ. The scriptures are filled with stories of the compassion He has for others. If we truly wish to become more Christlike in our actions, we might want to work on showing compassion to others. I know that is something I am going to be studying and working on this summer. I will be looking up scriptures that teach compassion and writing them in my scripture journal. That is one of my study goals.

What are your study plans?