A Thankful Weekend

We had a wonderful time during this past holiday weekend.  Although our children were scattered again, we were able to talk with each of them, and visit with most of them.  We missed Nancy's family being near enough to visit, but are happy they are experiencing wonderful weather, which makes it so much easier for  Tyler to move around.

We left town right after school was out at 11:30 on Wednesday.  Garth had a car all packed with everything we needed to help out with the  Thanksgiving dinner.  We drove up to Tammy's house to be there when the water heater repair man arrived.  She had to work and couldn't be there at that time, so she asked us if there was any way we could make it up by about 4:00.  It was a great reason for me to walk out of the classroom as the students boarded the bus.  The drive up was wonderful I guess.  I mean, I was able to sleep a lot of the way!

The kids were so excited for us to be there.  They had cleaned up the house and everything was nice and festive with their Christmas tree already up and glowing.  We, or rather Garth and the kids unloaded the car and we must hung out the rest of the afternoon and evening.  Tammy and Nicky arrived after they were off work, and we watched a Christmas movie on TV.  We then left Tammy's house to go to Nicky's where we stayed the night.  Nicky is so good to let us sleep in her bed when we are there.  I must say, I envy her for the comfortable bed!  We sleep better on her bed than we do on our bed at home.

Thursday morning we got up early, drove back to Tammy's to start cooking dinner.  The kids really wanted a Thanksgiving dinner at their own house so we jumped right in and cooked.  Everything turned out great....except for the things I was in charge of:  the rolls and the yams.  Some crazy person turned off the oven while trying to set the timer (couldn't have been me!) so the rolls didn't brown.  After finding out the problem the oven had to be turned on again, which didn't help in the baking.  We had doughy burnt rolls, which is quite a difficult feat achieve.  Then, while we were trying to dig the rolls out of the pans, Nicky noticed smoke coming out of the oven.  Oh, yeah, I had forgotten that the yams were put in to broil so the marshmallows would melt.  They didn't melt...they were turning to charcoal!  So much for my cooking skills!  The cranberry sauce was good, as well as the turkey, potatoes, gravy, and other side dishes.  The pies were delicious. We all ate our fill and then cleaned it all up.  It was fun to be together for the day.  Around 4:00 the kids went off with their father for the weekend, we headed by to Nicky's for the night and Tammy tried to get a few hours of sleep before heading back to work for the big night of shopping.

Friday morning Garth and I headed up to Logan to check in with Barrett.  We had been worried about him because we had received a text from Chantel that Barrett was in the hospital because of his medical condition called myasthenia gravis.  When we got there we found out he was going into the hospital each night for 5 nights to receive meds through IV.  Although he wasn't feeling well at all, he was up and moving around.  We played with the kids and tried to help out as much as we could.  It was kind of a lazy day with the kids playing with friends, so we spent lots of time with Isaac and Eli.  This was the first time we were able to meet Eli and it was pure joy.  He is really a sweet little baby.  And Isaac.......Isaac loves his grandma, even if I am the one who dropped him when I fell down the stairs :)

We played with Morgan and Max when they returned from the neighbors.  We had fun with Headbanz (I'm not sure that is how to spell it), Go Fish, and Uno.  Everyone went to sleep around 9:00 when Barrett headed off to the hospital for his hook-up.  Saturday morning Barrett took us all out to breakfast at IHOP, then we headed home.

A quick stop at Nicky's, then Wal-mart to see Tammy and pick up a few things we still needed for Christmas.  Then home.  Today is a resting day.  One of those days when you are too tired to rest, and don't want to do anything else.

We are thankful for our family and so many friends who are willing to help us at this time.  We certainly have angels watching over us and our children.

Stake Conference

We had a wonderful stake conference again.  I took lots of notes so I can remember the words that were said.  Sorry to say one of the talks I didn't take very many notes because I was busy listening.  That speaker was my brother-in-law, Kent.  He did a terrific job of making me think of things, so I was took busy listening and pondering to write.  Sorry Kent.  What notes I did take will help me remember my thoughts, which I'm not ready to share here, yet.  I will put them all in my personal journal.

Last night President Sharp showed us a Mormon Message that is also a book we have about a man who lost most of his family in a car accident because of a young driver.  He explains that he knew from the time he became aware of what had happened, he knew he had to forgive the driver.  It was a very moving video, not just about the loss the man experienced but forgiveness.  He stressed that if we don't forgive others for the things they have done to us, we are the ones who will miss out on blessings.  President Sharp spoke about how important it is that we forgive, and show it. We may think that we don't care, that we are free from the effects or pain of the things that hurt us, but if we don't let the person know, if we avoid them, if we don't let them know we are not holding any negative feelings about them, then sometime in the future we will realize that we are missing some blessings that would have come our way had we done as the Savior would have us do.  It is our responsibility to make sure our families are strengthened, that we aren't the link that is keeping families apart.  And "families" does not mean just spouses and children, but parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, grandchildren, etc.  When we are not working to strengthen families we are making Satan happy.   He talked about the need of repentance being as strong as the need of forgiveness, and that if we don't forgive we have greater need to repent than the person we did not forgive.  These notes are a blend of both of President  Sharp's talks, Saturday night and Sunday session.  They fit in very well together.

Mary Huntington also spoke on the same subject.  She told of a time when she was very offended by someone else and felt she had to call her parents and vent about it.  She was talking with her dad and he just said, "Mary, I'm sorry you are experiencing this, but you have to let it go or it will eat away at you for eternity."  She explained that he further said that if not in this life, but in the life to some she would have to learn that she could have made life better if she had let it go, that relationships are far more important than the anger, and that she was very wrong in not being understanding with the other person.

All the other talks were wonderful as well, but right now I have been pondering these three messages and seeing what I can do to strengthen myself.

I did have a scary experience when I nearly choked to death during the Sunday morning meeting.  I get these spasms when I can't swallow and I start to cough and can't get air, and I feel like I am ready to pass out before I start to breath again.  But that is another story.  I survived.

I am so thankful for the words I heard at conference. I hope I can keep the spirit I felt there and improve myself this week.

Seasons Come and Go

I used to really enjoy the holiday seasons, but not so much any more.  Oh, I love the sights of the holidays in November and December, and the reasons for the holidays.  I just don't like the emotions I feel leading up to them.  My emotions are not the same as they used to be.  I don't know if it is the situations, my medications (yes, the dreaded prednisone is still killing me but life without it is 'unbreathable.), or just the inability to cope.  I am determined that this year I will just enjoy what I am blessed enough to enjoy.  

I am sure some people have questioned my desire to have a family-centered Thanksgiving, asking why I am like to have a big family dinner, etc.  Let me explain. 

When I grew up we were really close to our Olsen cousins and we spent every Thanksgiving together.  For some reason the Wares just didn't get together very often.  Maybe it was a brother thing, with all the sister-in-laws with their own parents and families, but the Wares just didn't ever get together as a family.  I am thinking it is because our Grandmother wasn't there to keep the family together.  When I look at family groups, I see the ones who are a 'together' family are the ones with both grandparents still around.  It seems like once a grandparent passes away, the family kind of settles off in their own directions.  Kind of sad, but that is kind of the way it is.  Our Grandmother Ware passed away before most of her grandchildren were born.  We did have Aunt Maree as our 'grandmother' but the family didn't get together as cousins at all.

But the Olsen family was different.  We were always together.  Even after Grandpa Olsen passed away.  Grandma moved from Moore to Orangeville, where her three children lived.  We were always together.  The Olsen siblings only had each other and their spouses, so we were always together for family holidays.  The two sisters and one brother, along with their spouses and children, shared family time together.  

Thanksgiving dinner was rotated from one household to another, even after the Peacocks moved to Salt Lake.  It was a fun year when the weather allowed us to play outside while the adults prepared the big meal.  Aunt Lorene would bake rolls, Grandma baked her famous carrot pudding, and all the trimmings filled the table.  Dinner was filled with laughing, telling stories, eating, and visiting.  We always remarked that it took so long to fix the meal, then we ate it so quickly it was all over in a flash.  The adults shooed the kids out of the kitchen when it was clean up time, so we had more playing time.  It all created great memories.  

When I married into the Labrum family we learned to share our traditions, and took turns celebrating Thanksgiving with each family. My first Thanksgiving away from home was spent with the Labrum family where I observed the same type of family traditions as I had grown up with.  Lots of work preparing food, lots of cousins to play with, lots of talking, visiting, eating, and family fun.  

Within three years my mother had passed away and we had our first Thanksgiving without her.  It was a very difficult year.  We were still meeting with the Olsen family every-other year, but it seemed like we just didn't belong there without her.  Garth and I took our two little kids to Orangeville so Dad wouldn't be alone for Thanksgiving, but it just wasn't the same.  I remember going to Aunt Lorene and Uncle Royce's house, but I don't remember eating dinner there.  I do know that I was thinking it would be the end to Thanksgiving as I had remembered it.

We soon started our own Ware tradition of eating together as four sisters and our families.  We fixed up large tables in the living room of Dad's home, spilling out into the kitchen and hallway as our families grew.  We soon out-grew the house and moved outside to the wood shop.  It seems strange to others that we would actually eat a large meal like Thanksgiving in the wood shop, but it was very natural for us because that wood shop was a very important part of our dad's life.  Dad was so proud of his shop.  There was ample space for lots of tables and chairs.  Again, we had a time when family could get together for food, fun, visiting, and family.  But as usual, that too came to an end.

Now here we are.  I don't have a large enough house for my family to gather for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandchildren don't know the joy of spending time with cousins, playing while the adults get the dinner ready, listening to the men yelling at the football games while the women talk and visit in the kitchen while preparing food for the family.  Kids don't draw little place-cards and set the table with excitement.  

So I am sad that I can't share that part of my life with my grandchildren.  We did have dinner with Tammy at her apartment in Salt Lake a few years ago, and one year we had dinner with Nancy in her home in Lehi.  Those are two great memories of cooking and preparing food as the kids played.  We had a Thanksgiving dinner with Barrett's family in Salt Lake at the Little American hotel.  The food was wonderful and it was nice to just eat and visit without having to prepare and clean up.  But I do miss the noise of the kids playing, the turkey being cut, the football games, the cleaning up, and all the talking and visiting.  

I think my family has missed out on the visiting, the casual talking.  Spending that time together is when you learn about family, concerns, problems, joys, goals, what is happening in lives of children, how everyone is doing in school, just everyday things, the good things, the understanding, the family things.  I wish we could do that.  

So why do I like to have family together once in a while.  So we can be together.  Because I love each one of my family.  Because I want to see my grandchildren playing together.  Because I want to hold them all, on my lap, in my heart, and in my memories.  Because I want to see all my children in one place before one of is isn't here any more.  Because I want to hear the noise.  Because I want to hear my son and his father enjoy a football or basketball game together again, or a lacrosse game with Dallas :)    Because I want to hear all the girls working together as we prepare food for our families.  Because I want to hold on to that part of my heritage.  Just because.