Time off from School

One of the most non-productive weeks of school happens to be the days just prior to Christmas.  And all teachers know that a snow storm will bring excitement levels to an all-time high.  Couple those two events together and you have ..... this past week of school.  Although we were busy, we didn't learn anything new.  We did learn how to make Christmas wrapping out of sheets of fingerpaint paper.  It is just the right size for covering a printed book of Christmas poems written by third graders.  We did learn how to sing all the Christmas carols on the few CDs I had, which had the exact same 8 songs.  We did learn that the volume button on the old classroom TV does not go up high enough to overtake the noise of the students.  The Polar Express movie is not the favorite of third graders.  I learned that students are more immune to that one swear word on The Night They Saved Christmas because no one even snickered when they heard it.  I learned that the fun of playing games is not the most important to children; it is more important to win or ruin the fun of the games. That is difficult to understand. The students might not be learning lots of new school objectives, but we are all learning new things about viewing life these days.

A Week of Many Thoughts

This week seems to be filled with so many emotions, mostly very sad or touching feelings.  I won't elaborate on the events that took place in Connecticut last Friday, except to say that I was so saddened by the thought of a school/town/area losing so many young children.  I can't imagine what they are feeling. But in reality we can imagine because we can see it.  The media have made sure the people of Newtown are not far from our thoughts.

I was so touched by the words of Robbie Parker, the father of little Emilee Parker, who was a victim of the shooting.  As he spoke in front of his LDS wardhouse, his care and concern for the family of the shooter showed the world the compassion he has.  I am sure everyone there was shocked to hear him speak with such love for the family of the person who hurt his family, but I am sure his testimony of eternal life was the catalyst for his care.  I also hear a news interview given by the mother of Emilee.  She was saying that the shooter must have been in such a dark, dark place in his mind that she felt so sorry for him.  That is probably a very different point of view that the media wasn't prepared for.  I thought it was a compassionate thought.

Last night I was speaking with a person during our ward Christmas dinner.  This lady is a very nice, loving lady.  She told me she doesn't get emotional over things, that she doesn't turn to tears very often.  But the other day she was out for a walk and passed the school when the students were walking to their classrooms after recess.  She saw two small boys walking with their arms around each other, laughing and playfully pushing each other along, with their arms around each others shoulders.  She admitted she totally lost control of her emotions and broke down and cried.  To think of how much fun they were having together, so innocent and vulnerable.  So sweet and having such fun with their friends.  How sad to think what had happened to those other sweet children.

Yesterday was also the date that my father passed away three years ago.  It was snowing that day, and it snowed again yesterday.  I miss him and our talks.  I wish I could walk into the house and sit and visit with him again.  Enough.  I can't go there today.

The snow outside is beautiful, but makes me laugh.  A while ago it became apparent that Garth would be going to Arizona for a week to help Nancy out after her surgery.  With a beautiful fall, and a quiet, no-weather beginning of winter, we joked about no snow coming until he was gone.  Sure enough, he left on Sunday and on Tuesday it snowed all day.  This has put me as the recipient of some very nice acts of kindness.  Yesterday our custodian came up to my house and shoveled the snow off the sidewalks and around the car.  That was so thoughtful of him.  Then when at the ward Christmas party I was told the Young Men would be scraping my yard for me.  When I got home after choir practice there was a large pile of snow off the side where they pushed the snow from the driveway and they re-shoveled the sidewalks.  It was so nice of them to think of me while I am home alone.

I am missing Garth but doing fine.  I know I don't like being alone, but at the same time can't wait until the end of school so I can get home where I feel safe and comfortable.

A Thankful Weekend

We had a wonderful time during this past holiday weekend.  Although our children were scattered again, we were able to talk with each of them, and visit with most of them.  We missed Nancy's family being near enough to visit, but are happy they are experiencing wonderful weather, which makes it so much easier for  Tyler to move around.

We left town right after school was out at 11:30 on Wednesday.  Garth had a car all packed with everything we needed to help out with the  Thanksgiving dinner.  We drove up to Tammy's house to be there when the water heater repair man arrived.  She had to work and couldn't be there at that time, so she asked us if there was any way we could make it up by about 4:00.  It was a great reason for me to walk out of the classroom as the students boarded the bus.  The drive up was wonderful I guess.  I mean, I was able to sleep a lot of the way!

The kids were so excited for us to be there.  They had cleaned up the house and everything was nice and festive with their Christmas tree already up and glowing.  We, or rather Garth and the kids unloaded the car and we must hung out the rest of the afternoon and evening.  Tammy and Nicky arrived after they were off work, and we watched a Christmas movie on TV.  We then left Tammy's house to go to Nicky's where we stayed the night.  Nicky is so good to let us sleep in her bed when we are there.  I must say, I envy her for the comfortable bed!  We sleep better on her bed than we do on our bed at home.

Thursday morning we got up early, drove back to Tammy's to start cooking dinner.  The kids really wanted a Thanksgiving dinner at their own house so we jumped right in and cooked.  Everything turned out great....except for the things I was in charge of:  the rolls and the yams.  Some crazy person turned off the oven while trying to set the timer (couldn't have been me!) so the rolls didn't brown.  After finding out the problem the oven had to be turned on again, which didn't help in the baking.  We had doughy burnt rolls, which is quite a difficult feat achieve.  Then, while we were trying to dig the rolls out of the pans, Nicky noticed smoke coming out of the oven.  Oh, yeah, I had forgotten that the yams were put in to broil so the marshmallows would melt.  They didn't melt...they were turning to charcoal!  So much for my cooking skills!  The cranberry sauce was good, as well as the turkey, potatoes, gravy, and other side dishes.  The pies were delicious. We all ate our fill and then cleaned it all up.  It was fun to be together for the day.  Around 4:00 the kids went off with their father for the weekend, we headed by to Nicky's for the night and Tammy tried to get a few hours of sleep before heading back to work for the big night of shopping.

Friday morning Garth and I headed up to Logan to check in with Barrett.  We had been worried about him because we had received a text from Chantel that Barrett was in the hospital because of his medical condition called myasthenia gravis.  When we got there we found out he was going into the hospital each night for 5 nights to receive meds through IV.  Although he wasn't feeling well at all, he was up and moving around.  We played with the kids and tried to help out as much as we could.  It was kind of a lazy day with the kids playing with friends, so we spent lots of time with Isaac and Eli.  This was the first time we were able to meet Eli and it was pure joy.  He is really a sweet little baby.  And Isaac.......Isaac loves his grandma, even if I am the one who dropped him when I fell down the stairs :)

We played with Morgan and Max when they returned from the neighbors.  We had fun with Headbanz (I'm not sure that is how to spell it), Go Fish, and Uno.  Everyone went to sleep around 9:00 when Barrett headed off to the hospital for his hook-up.  Saturday morning Barrett took us all out to breakfast at IHOP, then we headed home.

A quick stop at Nicky's, then Wal-mart to see Tammy and pick up a few things we still needed for Christmas.  Then home.  Today is a resting day.  One of those days when you are too tired to rest, and don't want to do anything else.

We are thankful for our family and so many friends who are willing to help us at this time.  We certainly have angels watching over us and our children.

Stake Conference

We had a wonderful stake conference again.  I took lots of notes so I can remember the words that were said.  Sorry to say one of the talks I didn't take very many notes because I was busy listening.  That speaker was my brother-in-law, Kent.  He did a terrific job of making me think of things, so I was took busy listening and pondering to write.  Sorry Kent.  What notes I did take will help me remember my thoughts, which I'm not ready to share here, yet.  I will put them all in my personal journal.

Last night President Sharp showed us a Mormon Message that is also a book we have about a man who lost most of his family in a car accident because of a young driver.  He explains that he knew from the time he became aware of what had happened, he knew he had to forgive the driver.  It was a very moving video, not just about the loss the man experienced but forgiveness.  He stressed that if we don't forgive others for the things they have done to us, we are the ones who will miss out on blessings.  President Sharp spoke about how important it is that we forgive, and show it. We may think that we don't care, that we are free from the effects or pain of the things that hurt us, but if we don't let the person know, if we avoid them, if we don't let them know we are not holding any negative feelings about them, then sometime in the future we will realize that we are missing some blessings that would have come our way had we done as the Savior would have us do.  It is our responsibility to make sure our families are strengthened, that we aren't the link that is keeping families apart.  And "families" does not mean just spouses and children, but parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, grandchildren, etc.  When we are not working to strengthen families we are making Satan happy.   He talked about the need of repentance being as strong as the need of forgiveness, and that if we don't forgive we have greater need to repent than the person we did not forgive.  These notes are a blend of both of President  Sharp's talks, Saturday night and Sunday session.  They fit in very well together.

Mary Huntington also spoke on the same subject.  She told of a time when she was very offended by someone else and felt she had to call her parents and vent about it.  She was talking with her dad and he just said, "Mary, I'm sorry you are experiencing this, but you have to let it go or it will eat away at you for eternity."  She explained that he further said that if not in this life, but in the life to some she would have to learn that she could have made life better if she had let it go, that relationships are far more important than the anger, and that she was very wrong in not being understanding with the other person.

All the other talks were wonderful as well, but right now I have been pondering these three messages and seeing what I can do to strengthen myself.

I did have a scary experience when I nearly choked to death during the Sunday morning meeting.  I get these spasms when I can't swallow and I start to cough and can't get air, and I feel like I am ready to pass out before I start to breath again.  But that is another story.  I survived.

I am so thankful for the words I heard at conference. I hope I can keep the spirit I felt there and improve myself this week.

Seasons Come and Go

I used to really enjoy the holiday seasons, but not so much any more.  Oh, I love the sights of the holidays in November and December, and the reasons for the holidays.  I just don't like the emotions I feel leading up to them.  My emotions are not the same as they used to be.  I don't know if it is the situations, my medications (yes, the dreaded prednisone is still killing me but life without it is 'unbreathable.), or just the inability to cope.  I am determined that this year I will just enjoy what I am blessed enough to enjoy.  

I am sure some people have questioned my desire to have a family-centered Thanksgiving, asking why I am like to have a big family dinner, etc.  Let me explain. 

When I grew up we were really close to our Olsen cousins and we spent every Thanksgiving together.  For some reason the Wares just didn't get together very often.  Maybe it was a brother thing, with all the sister-in-laws with their own parents and families, but the Wares just didn't ever get together as a family.  I am thinking it is because our Grandmother wasn't there to keep the family together.  When I look at family groups, I see the ones who are a 'together' family are the ones with both grandparents still around.  It seems like once a grandparent passes away, the family kind of settles off in their own directions.  Kind of sad, but that is kind of the way it is.  Our Grandmother Ware passed away before most of her grandchildren were born.  We did have Aunt Maree as our 'grandmother' but the family didn't get together as cousins at all.

But the Olsen family was different.  We were always together.  Even after Grandpa Olsen passed away.  Grandma moved from Moore to Orangeville, where her three children lived.  We were always together.  The Olsen siblings only had each other and their spouses, so we were always together for family holidays.  The two sisters and one brother, along with their spouses and children, shared family time together.  

Thanksgiving dinner was rotated from one household to another, even after the Peacocks moved to Salt Lake.  It was a fun year when the weather allowed us to play outside while the adults prepared the big meal.  Aunt Lorene would bake rolls, Grandma baked her famous carrot pudding, and all the trimmings filled the table.  Dinner was filled with laughing, telling stories, eating, and visiting.  We always remarked that it took so long to fix the meal, then we ate it so quickly it was all over in a flash.  The adults shooed the kids out of the kitchen when it was clean up time, so we had more playing time.  It all created great memories.  

When I married into the Labrum family we learned to share our traditions, and took turns celebrating Thanksgiving with each family. My first Thanksgiving away from home was spent with the Labrum family where I observed the same type of family traditions as I had grown up with.  Lots of work preparing food, lots of cousins to play with, lots of talking, visiting, eating, and family fun.  

Within three years my mother had passed away and we had our first Thanksgiving without her.  It was a very difficult year.  We were still meeting with the Olsen family every-other year, but it seemed like we just didn't belong there without her.  Garth and I took our two little kids to Orangeville so Dad wouldn't be alone for Thanksgiving, but it just wasn't the same.  I remember going to Aunt Lorene and Uncle Royce's house, but I don't remember eating dinner there.  I do know that I was thinking it would be the end to Thanksgiving as I had remembered it.

We soon started our own Ware tradition of eating together as four sisters and our families.  We fixed up large tables in the living room of Dad's home, spilling out into the kitchen and hallway as our families grew.  We soon out-grew the house and moved outside to the wood shop.  It seems strange to others that we would actually eat a large meal like Thanksgiving in the wood shop, but it was very natural for us because that wood shop was a very important part of our dad's life.  Dad was so proud of his shop.  There was ample space for lots of tables and chairs.  Again, we had a time when family could get together for food, fun, visiting, and family.  But as usual, that too came to an end.

Now here we are.  I don't have a large enough house for my family to gather for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandchildren don't know the joy of spending time with cousins, playing while the adults get the dinner ready, listening to the men yelling at the football games while the women talk and visit in the kitchen while preparing food for the family.  Kids don't draw little place-cards and set the table with excitement.  

So I am sad that I can't share that part of my life with my grandchildren.  We did have dinner with Tammy at her apartment in Salt Lake a few years ago, and one year we had dinner with Nancy in her home in Lehi.  Those are two great memories of cooking and preparing food as the kids played.  We had a Thanksgiving dinner with Barrett's family in Salt Lake at the Little American hotel.  The food was wonderful and it was nice to just eat and visit without having to prepare and clean up.  But I do miss the noise of the kids playing, the turkey being cut, the football games, the cleaning up, and all the talking and visiting.  

I think my family has missed out on the visiting, the casual talking.  Spending that time together is when you learn about family, concerns, problems, joys, goals, what is happening in lives of children, how everyone is doing in school, just everyday things, the good things, the understanding, the family things.  I wish we could do that.  

So why do I like to have family together once in a while.  So we can be together.  Because I love each one of my family.  Because I want to see my grandchildren playing together.  Because I want to hold them all, on my lap, in my heart, and in my memories.  Because I want to see all my children in one place before one of is isn't here any more.  Because I want to hear the noise.  Because I want to hear my son and his father enjoy a football or basketball game together again, or a lacrosse game with Dallas :)    Because I want to hear all the girls working together as we prepare food for our families.  Because I want to hold on to that part of my heritage.  Just because.  

Finally!

Our bathroom is finally done....well, almost.  Now for the "Bathroom Story."

Our bathroom has been ugly for a long time, but I'm not one to complain much about the looks of things so we have just cleaned it the best we could and went from there.  Many years ago we had Garth's brother, Mike, living with us for a while.  He wanted to do something nice for us while here, and decided to replace our old bathroom floor with tile.  He had been doing tile setting in Vegas and was pretty good at it.  He picked out a tile and got it all layed.  Later, I realized we had beige tile in the tub and gray tile on the floor.  But it really didn't bother me.

Because I am so short it was very difficult for me to lean over the tub to clean it.  I had to hold on to the soap holder to balance myself.  One day, the soap holder just fell off the wall, leaving a big hole in the wall.  We tried to glue it back in, using gorilla glue, super glue, cement, everything we could find, but nothing worked.  I'm not sure what finally held it in, but there was gunk around the edges and looked really groddy, but it held up so we accepted it. But the tub area looked really bad, but didn't know what to do with it.

When Garth came home after back surgery he was getting into the tub to take a shower.  He held on to the handicapped rail, and, behold, the tiles it was attached to came right off the wall, and he was left holding the handrail and the tiles with a big gash in the wall.  Not good.

We were left with only one choice...get it repaired by a contractor.  We found a guy here in town who was willing to do the tile work.  He came in and looked it over and gave us a good deal on his work, along with suggestions for a better than before bathroom.

We got everything ready for the big repair.  Our biggest problem was, ... we only have the one bathroom.  So we knew we would be going to the trailer to the outhouse during the repair time.  It worked out alright, just took us a bit longer than we wanted, but it was worth it.  The bathroom is beautiful!  We are waiting for one of the shower doors to be replaced because it shattered when the contractor was trying to put it in.  Other than that, we are sure enjoying the room.

We gained about 10 inches behind the sink and toilet, which helped a lot.  It was all wasted space between walls so why not use it!  Now someone can be at the sink and another person actually walk into the room at the same time.  It is nice not having to step over the tub to get into the shower.  The tub has only been used by the grandchildren during the past 10 years or more, so it won't be missed.  The kids will just have to learn to shower.  Here are before, between, and after pictures.

 Notice the big "square" in the middle?  We had to tape a grocery sack to the wall so the water wouldn't get into the hole created by the missing tiles.  Pretty, don't you think?

 Garth did a great job building a cabinet over the toilet.  Still have the original mirror and sliding door thingy.

 Nice big towel rack!

 The tub completely gone, plus all the tile and the wall!  Ugly!

The floor looked horrible!.  Later the floor under the toilet was totally gone and replaced.

New tile everywhere.  I LOVE the trim.  It goes all along the wall, above the window, and along the wall with the towel rack.  It is beautiful.  The new cabinets are great!  Drawer for my stuff!

 The tile is also on the wall behind the towels.  Can you see it above the shower door?  Notice that one of the shower doors is missing, soon to be in.

Isn't that tile great!  You don't notice the extra space here, but believe me, it is wonderful!

Love the sink and room for a hand towel.  We also have an extra plug for all those electric things like blow dryers, curling irons, and razors all at the same time!

We really weren't planning on remodeling the bathroom, but it was a necessity.  I'm not sorry we did, just wish it had come at a better time financially.  But it will be worth it.  It is great!

The Best Words

I am sure Bro. Uchtdorf's message in the Ensign was inspired for my family.  I hope they all read this and realize their own part in recent event. I would highlight every sentence, and double-highlight

"None of us is without sin. Every one of us makes mistakes, including you and me. We have all been wounded. We all have wounded others."

 Wouldn’t it be only right to put aside our own egotism and pride and begin to open that blessed door of forgiveness to those with whom we struggle—especially to all of our own family?

May God help us to be a little more forgiving in our families, more forgiving of each other, and perhaps more forgiving even with ourselves. I pray that we may experience forgiveness as one wonderful way in which most happy families are alike.

 No one can say it like he does.  I don't need to say anything else.

A New Addition

We got the great news last Thursday that our son and his wife have adopted another baby!  We were so surprised at the news.  They certainly kept it a secret and I can totally understand why.  After so many disappointments and bad news no one wanted to jinks another chance.  He was born on September 29.  This is their second adoption and makes them a family with 4 children, one girl and 3 boys.  Imagine the pinewood derby cars to make in the future, not to mention the number of cub scout pack meetings!  We hope to find out his name soon, and get to meet him.

Another new addition is the new bathroom we are getting.  Not something we planned on doing, in fact very far from the truth.  But it was out of necessity because the tile came off the wall shortly after Garth's surgery and we were left with a gaping hole in the wall.  We have been without a bathroom now for over two weeks, taking our daily trips out to the camp trailer and down to school when necessary.  We are so thankful for our nephew, Scott, for opening up his physical therapy office so we can shower there.  It is so much appreciated.  We hope the bathroom is completed by the weekend.  It is getting so cold to walk outside in the mornings.  We have both ended up with cold from being wet and cold.

Another Wonderful Sunday

It seems I live for Sundays these days.  They are a great way to recharge my battery for the next week.  This Sunday was no exception.

We woke up about the usual time, but didn't need to get to church until an hour later because of the Brigham City Temple dedication.  We had debated about going to the early (9:00 am) session, but decided that with our home situation this week it would probably be easier to get ready for the 12:00 session.  And that was a good choice because it gave us the chance to watch one of our favorite Sunday shows, besides The Spoken Word.

We enjoy watching MormonTimes, which comes on at 10:00 right after The Spoken Word.  It is hosted by Michelle King and focuses on things that are important to Mormons.  Today she featured an author and her book.  I wish I could remember the author and the title of the book, but I am sure you can find it on the MormonTimes facebook page.  The book is about making your temple experiences even better.  The author started out talking about how a child knows that when you get cut, you wash your cut and put healing ointment on it, then wrap it in a clean covering so it can heal.  She likened this to the temple.  We are all hurt/broke/cut because we are human.  We go to the temple to wash our cuts, we have ointment put on to help us heal, then we are wrapped in a clean covering as we are healed.  These ordinances (baptism, washing and anointings, covenant making) all prepare us for the healing of the atonement. This got me thinking of the process in a totally different way.

Then she talked about the Story of the Good Samaritan.  We walk through life going lower because of sin, like the man who "went down from Jerusalem to Jericho" where he feel among thieves.  We are mortal and fall among temptations.  The Samaritan came to him, just as Christ has come to us.  He washed the man's wounds, and poured oil on him, and placed him on his own donkey (carried him), took him to an inn and took care of him.  He paid the price for the keeping of the man (atonement) and said the when he returns he will repay the inn keeper for whatever else he spends as he helps the man.  Christ will give us our reward if we help the sick and lowly.  He has already paid the price, but will also give us a reward.  He will carry us to the place of healing.  He will pour oil on our wounds. And help us to be healed, blessing others for helping us.

That story really touched my heart and helps me see things in a newer, deeper way.  I am thankful for that lesson.  Follow the link above to hear the entire interview with the author.  She has so many insights and my words do not give it justice.  I am looking forward to reading the book myself.....(hint to my children :)

At the temple dedication  it was stated that the lessons we learn in the temple are much like the message of mortality:  the creation, the fall, and the atonement.  Brother Nelson said this is the 14th temple in Utah, and the 139th in the world.  It brought to my memory when I was in high school seminary and we were having a Seminary Bowl contest.  One of the questions was: How many temples are there in the world today?  Brother Law said the answer was 12, but I challenged him.  I said there were at least 14, not remembering if it was 14 or 15.  We looked it up, not an easy feat because of no internet back in those olden days.  It turned out I was right because Ogden and Provo had been dedicated and they were Number 14 and 15.  Brother Law's Seminary Bowl answers were now out-dated.  Back in 1973-74 there were 15 temples in the world.  Today there are 14 in Utah only.  What a big change.  Still waiting and praying that someday our valley will have a temple, making it easier for all of us to get to a temple without a 2 hour drive over a mountain pass, which can be dangerous during the winter.

Another point that Brother Nelson spoke about was the temples prior to Christ's time on earth, and the temple during Christ's time.  During Christ's first cleansing of the temple, he called the temple "My Father's House."(John 2:16)   During the second cleansing of the temple he called the temple "My House" (Luke 19:46), and later He called it "Your House".(Luke 13:35)  It was then the people were told they would see him until later.

There were several other speakers during the dedication that raised points that I want to study in the next few weeks.  I hope I can get some time to research out their points.

In all, I learned a lot today and am looking forward to further scripture study.

This week has been very difficult for my husband and I as we have suffered while our bathroom is being gutted and repaired.  We have learned to appreciate our pioneer ancestors and the trials they went through without the facilities we so much take for granted.  We are thankful for the kind people who have offered their homes to us, the kind words of concern, and the offers of help.  We are just looking forward to having our home put back together again.

As for health, Garth is doing fine, but it is a slow process.  He is able to walk about 1-2 miles every day, but then it takes a long time to recover from the work-out.  He is helping me out in school by coming in and helping during the end of our reading hour and all of the math.  I really appreciate his help.

My legs are not getting any better. It is still unknown why the pain is so terrible.  I can stand on my leg for a long time, but stepping OFF the leg just brings me to tears.  I drag my leg along for several steps until the pain finally goes away.  My arm is going fine, but I can see that when the colder weather comes it will be stiffer and more painful to straighten out.  But in all, I guess I am doing fine.

We are both very thankful for all the blessings we do have, and pray for each of our family members to receive the blessings they desire at this time.  We don't always know the trials each of them is facing, but we pray for them all just the same.

I know that the Lord is in control and we receive the blessings He has in store for us if we are striving to do as He would have us do.  Our trial may be that we listen to His answers, to His directions, as He speaks to us.  That we accept that His will be done, and learn how to accept that in our own lives.  I know there are many blessings I would like but for some reasons right now I am being asked to wait for them.  It is difficult and trying sometimes,, but I am willing to wait because I know the Lord knows me and knows what is best for me.  Sometimes it is easy to doubt, but today, I know it is true.  I am writing this today so that in those days when I doubt I can read this and remember.

Another Great Sunday

For the first time in a long time I was tempted to not go to church today because my legs were swollen and my lungs were whistling.  But I figured if I started staying home every time that happened I would be missing a lot of Sundays and I don't see the need of doing that.  I am very thankful that I went because my spirit was recharged.

We have been blessed to have Greg Huntington attending our ward the last few weeks.  His parents are members of our ward, Mack and Julie Huntington.  Greg lives on the First Ward but comes here with his parents.  Greg has been paralyzed for the past 8 years.  He can move his arms a bit, and use his clinched fists, but that is about all the motion he has.  But he has quite a story to tell.  And that is what we all heard today in testimony meeting.

The Huntingtons have gone through a lot of experiences that we all hope and pray we never have to experience.  Mack was never active when his children were young.  In fact, Greg stated that his dad was full of the spirit, but it was the kind that came from a bottle.  Greg would rather be with his dad than with his mother in church, so he was not active either.  Julie and the girls did attend church regularly.  Their daughter, Amy, is my daughter Tammy's age.  She got diabetes when she was 18 months old.  When they were in sixth grade, Amy passed away from complications with the diabetes.  It was a very difficult time for the family.  Mack went more to the bottle than to his family.  Greg noticed this and went right along following his dad's example.

Greg had so many automobile accidents that no one could count them all, but through them all he was somehow blessed to stay alive.  One 4-wheeler accident resulted in a injury to his eye.  After that accident he was not able to move his eye to the left any further than the center.  He always had double vision and had to turn his head to look at you.  He had seven surgeries on that eye and they were not able to correct his movement.

According to Greg, as time passed his dad started taking gymnastics...at least he did a 180 degree flip and changed his life around.  Garth and I were able to be to the temple the day Mack and Julie were sealed in the temple, with Amy being sealed to them, along with Jan, Kyle, and MacKell, but no Greg.  It was hard on Julie, but she had most of her family there with her and always prayed that Greg would be able to be sealed to them as well.

Time passed for the family and more problems for Greg.  He suffered terrible headaches which resulted in the lost of hearing in both ears.  He has about 20% hearing in one ear and 50% in the other (I think that is the number)  There were also more car accidents.  And on Memorial Day weekend in 2004 his truck left the road in the canyon and he suffered a broken neck.  He has been in and out of the hospital so many times the past 8 years for so many different reasons.  The last adventure in hospital totally changed his life.

He told us that he was having his stomach operated on.  I know Julie has told me what the problem was, but I can't remember.  I just remember that he was very ill.  While the surgery was going on, he had an experience of seeing 3 men dressed in white coming to him.  He knew two were doctors and they were being instructed by the other one.  He was telling them what they needed to do as they operated on his bad eye.  He said he knew what they were doing and knew that he would be okay.  When he awoke from the stomach surgery he was able to move his eye completely and has total vision in that eye. A true miracle. The tears were flowing from everyone as he told how thankful he was for this experience.

He also said that he had been on pain medication for so long.  (I knew this from Julie, also.)  He said that since that operation he has been able to get completely off the pain medicine and hasn't had a pill for over 3 months now.  That is after the constant use of patches and pill for 8 years, please the years for the terrible headaches that resulted in the loss of hearing.

Greg decided that day that he had to change his life.  He had a difficult time reading the Book of Mormon because he wasn't able to turn the pages of the book, so his dad got him a Kindle Fire and, as Mack said, "He has been on fire ever since."  He has read the Book of Mormon through 3 times, and is still studying and reading.  He has been ordained an Elder and is preparing to go to the temple.  What a glorious day that will be.

Julie is the true meaning of patience.  She has waited for all these years to have her family sealed to her and she has never given up.  She takes care of Greg every day, driving to his house to get him out of bed, get his food for him, get him up out of bed and ready for the day.  Greg drives with the aid of hand-controls so he can drive his truck.  He is in charge of his cows but his dad has to feed them.  Julie and Mack take care of him but still give him his independence.  They are witnessing a true miracle in their lives.  Mack has battled colon cancer but seems to be doing all right right now.

I worked with Julie for about 22 years.  She taught 5th grade at our school.  She was always so ready to help anyone and still is.  She is a true friend and great lady. She is a great example that we should never give up on our children, no matter how far gone they may be.  Prayers and pleading are heard by our Heavenly Father.  Her prayers were answered in a way that took a long time, but Greg was still here and that was a true blessing as well.

It was a great day in church.  I'm glad I went.

Great Sunday Lessons

It has been a very tiring week.  School started on a Tuesday, which made it seem extra long because we usually start on a Wednesday.  That one extra day made me tired!  One good thing did happen because of that.  We had Back-To-School night on Thursday, so with school starting on Tuesday, that meant we had an extra day in-between to get ready for the night.  That helped a lot!  We again had a family night with hot dogs, chips, and drinks.  We were hoping it would bring out more people, but it didn't seem like it.  However, when I counted the parents of my students I was surprised to have so many between the two different sessions.  I can't remember exactly right now, but I had more than half of the parents of my students there.  It was great.  I always wonder if I am able to give them information that will be helpful to them as they begin their journey as third grade parents.

We went to pick out things for our bathroom (that is a story in itself.  Suffice it to say our bathroom is broken and we need to fix it. Not something we wanted to do right now, but can't help it.) I hate spending money so it was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I hate spending, and I had making decisions because I'm not sure of my decisions and then get frustrated with myself.  It just wasn't a pleasant experience.

The one good thing was our visit with Nicky.  She has gone through some tough times this past summer, and along with the tough comes some good.  We love her and pray for her each day.  Some of our prayers on her behalf are being answered and more will be, we are sure.  We want her to be happy, to find those things that will bring her TRUE happiness.  That means hard choices need to be made, but we are sure she will be able to make the choices that will bring her the blessings she has been promised.  We also want her to know that we love her, and believe in her.  We are there to support her in the good things she does.

As we have gone through so many experiences this summer I am learning more and more about our responsibility to ourselves and others as far as support and love.  Today's sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society lessons were all about love, support, contention,  and judging (and not judging others).  Contention is Satan's way of getting between people.  He is so smart about using it.  He knows that he can cause people to judge others as being 'not worthy' and thereby cause contention.  And when there is contention there is a lose of understanding, causing a lot of love, and in the end, destroying a family which is the basic unit of heaven.  And Satan wins.  At every point along the way things can change.  People may do wrong, make poor choices, do things that go against the word of the Lord.  This would bring the Lord's judgement upon only them.  But when others exercise their own judgment again that person, the 'wrong' grows to include the judge-er as well. If the judging is spread to others, contention can arise, which will spread the 'wrong' to even more people.  Notice all those "IFS" .  Things do not have to grow like this.  The original person will always be accountable for their choices, as will everyone else.  But, if we choose to judge, cause contention, spread words that discourage love and acceptance, we are also in the wrong.  We will receive the consequences for our actions.  Satan knows this.  What side do we want to be on?  The Lord would like the first person to accept their choices, and the rest of the people to show love, acceptance, support, and encouragement, so the contention does not grow and spread.

Then, in Relief Society, Shirley Van Ziverdan gave the lesson from the Ensign, which was President Uchtdorf's lesson about STOP IT!  She did a great job and pointing out the contention, judging, and forgiving that he stressed. It just went right along with the Sunday School lesson.  I guess I needed this lesson.   Here are some of my notes from her lesson:

Contention never was an allie to Christ.
Choose to either be right or want the relationship.
Strive to be compassionate.
Martha judged Mary, but Jesus' rebuke came when Martha complained.  If she had not complained Jesus would have noticed BOTH women's contribution to the feast.  It's OK to choose to do different things, but if we complain about another person, we might not receive the notice we desire.
Jesus walked among those who needed His love.  We should do the same.

 King Benjamin taught:

“Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

“But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. …

“And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance” (Mosiah 4:17–18, 22).

And this:

My disciples, in days of old, sought ^aoccasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this ^bevil they were ^cafflicted and sorely ^dchastened.

 9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to ^aforgive one another; for he that ^bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

 10 I, the Lord, will ^aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to ^bforgive all men.

In all, I learned a lot today.  But I didn't learn now to keep my fonts the same.  I'll experiment on that later.  I'm going to watch the special about Romney right now.

Nearing the End

You might not get what you want, if you think too much about the title of this post.  Nearing the End doesn't mean I am done, finished, dying, or ending any time soon.  It means I am almost to the end of the book about the Beatitudes.  I've been so busy with Garth's operations, getting ready for school, and so many personal things that I haven't had time to stop for a few days.  But I do want to write my thoughts on the last few chapters of the book Blessed Are Ye: Finding Your Unique Path to Christ by Chris Huston.

The last few verses of the sermon called The Beatitudes say:

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding lad; for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.   (Matthew 5:10-12)

Right now we are seeing so much of this behavior toward the church, church members, and the good works of the church organization.  It seems like it is coming from all corners of the earth.  With a 'Mormon" running for President of the United States, many people are happy to jump on the bandwagon that those Mormons are a strange group of people.  Some think we are blind followers who can't think for ourselves.  Then when some make different choices than they think a 'Good Mormon' would, they criticize them because they don't do what the church tells them they should do.  We just have to remember that we probably won't ever please all of the people any of the time.  (Boy, do I know that!)

Jesus knew everyone would feel persecution.  He didn't teach His disciples how to react if  they were persecuted, but when.  He reminded them that the natural man is an enemy of God, and don't enemies fight in the natural world?

Bro. Huston points out that the first seven beatitudes are short in length, but when He teaches about persecution he uses a lot more words.  Could it be because we would all feel the pain of persecution, either from our loved ones or from the world for the things we believe?  We have all experienced it, and it hurts, all the time.  The other beatitudes are about characteristics we can cultivate within our selves.  These verses tell us how to react when our believes are criticized by others.  That is a big difference.

When Lehi saw the dream of the Tree of Life he saw people pointing and mocking others who were partaking of the fruit.  He saw that many fell away and were lost because of being mocked.  Satan really knows how to get a bunch of people to follow his desires, doesn't he?  Get a few people to mock others and many will not be able to withstand the finger pointing.  Then Lehi goes on to say "we heeded them not" (1 Nephi 8:33)

I think we are seeing great examples of church members who have been placed in situations when they have needed to defend their own beliefs at the risk of being mocked, reviled, and persecuted.  We have see the church speak up when others have tried to ridicule the teachings and doctrine.  I see words spoken in kindness, with an effort to teach others, to show by example, while at the stand time standing strong to their convictions.  Mocking will always be there.  How we react will show what kind of a person we, individually, are.

I still stand by my favorite statement which is at the top of my blog:  Being mistreated is the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on how we view those who mistreat us.  -- The Peacegiver p. 33.  I think it is time for me to read this book again.

Pure in Heart

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

I think the goal for most of us is to see God again, to return to our Father in Heaven.  One sure way to be able to do so is to be pure in heart.  But what does that mean?

According to Chris Huston it means Purity in our intent, sincerity of our consistent effort.  Not of us can be perfect, or pure, during this life so all we can do is strive.  And if we are trying we will show the spirit of purity.

He goes on to explain something I have never thought before.  We are told the pure in heart will see God, but how can we see God in our mortal lives?  We need to look for the hand of the Lord in our daily lives.  Here is a quote from the book: "The only constant I've found is this: when I am the most spiritually in tune, and when my striving to live the commandments is able to override the lethargy of the natural man, I am most able to feel Christ's presence, and recognize his love and care reflected in the world that surrounds me."

That really got me thinking!  I need to live my life so I can see God in my daily activities, or the Hand of the Lord in the things around me.  I need to open my eyes to see, and do what I need to do to invite Him into my life.  That might mean serving others in ways I haven't noticed before.  It might be showing some kindness to others, making a phone to show I care, sending a message to someone, writing a letter - a real letter and mailing it, visiting with someone.  I need to ask the Lord what He would want me to do to show love and care to others.

At the same time, I need to see what others are doing for me.  Perhaps the Lord is inspiring others to help me in some way.  Maybe I am the way others can see the Hand of the Lord.

I also need to look around me and count my blessing and recognize they come from a Heavenly Father.  I need to acknowledge the good, beautiful things that are happening around me.  I need to realize the the Lord  share with us His wonderful creations like the sunrises and sunsets, the flowers, the children, Grandma's wrinkled hands, etc.   When our hearts are pure we see God all around us.   When our hearts are pure and we see God, we want to do what is right so we are pleasing to Him.  And by doing what is right we become pure in our hearts, able to see Him around us.  Isn't it amazing?

Mercy!

I remember hearing my sweet Grandma Olsen says, "Mercy!" usually when she was excited or surprised  about something.  "Oh, Mercy!"  I would love to hear that again.

Matthew 5:7 - Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy.  (3 Nephi 12:7)
I sure hope people show me a little bit of mercy.  More importantly, I hope the Lord gives me mercy when my time on Earth is over.  I know I will need it because I am very far from being perfect, even with all the repenting I do.  Somehow He will make justice and mercy work together, but how can I be sure I end up on the right side of the balance scale?  The scripture says what I have to do:  Be merciful.

In order for me to obtain mercy I must first be merciful myself.  So I got out my trusty Webster's New World Dictionary and looked up mercy, base word for merciful.  Here is what I found:  1.  a refraining from harming or punishing offenders, enemies, persons in one's power: kindness in excess of what may be expected of demanded by fairness; forbearance and compassion....a disposition to forgive, pity or be kind; kind or compassionate treatment; relief of suffering...

Well, that about sums it up.  Don't hurt others.  Not just physically, but I'm sure it also means emotionally and spiritually.  Don't punish others when it isn't needed. Be kinder than you should be.  Show compassion.  Strive to have a disposition to be kind and forgiving to everyone.  Give compassionate treatment to others.  Help relief their suffering, whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual, or any other way.

Doing all of these nice things requires us to not place requirements for our mercy towards others.  The author of the book I am reading says that when we judge others as unworthy of our mercy, we are placing ourselves in jeopardy for not receiving our own mercy.

How many times do I think "Well, they deserve it."?  "They must be held accountable for their own actions."  "They have to suffer the consequences."  "It's their problem, not mine."  All of these is true.  We even say in the Second Article of Faith "We believe that men will be punished for their own sins....."  Individual accountability is an important part of the gospel.  We all know it.  It keeps us on the right path.  But what if I use that principal to justify my own responsibility to show mercy?

The author reminds me about King Benjamin telling his people how they need to look at the needs of others. (Mosiah 4:17)  "Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just.  (18) But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent.  And except he repent...he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.  (19)For behold, are we not all beggars?  Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have? .....(22)And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which does not belong to you but to God."

By showing mercy to others I am not losing anything myself.  In fact, I am gaining mercy from Jesus Christ.  At the end of the Sermon on the Mount Jesus reminds us "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."  (Matthew 7:1-2)  I can't think 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth' because other people sin differently than I do.  They might do something that I would never do.  But I should still show mercy and compassion to them.  I need to give my love and let them know that my love is not contingent on my positive judgment of them.  I need to show that I am there to help them overcome any problems or situations they face.

At the same time, I have to protect myself from my own pain and suffering.  I'm not going to let someone take advantage of me with their attitude of "You must do this for me so that you are showing mercy and aren't judging me!"  I had a very fun roommate that I loved so much.  She was always saying, "I'm giving you an opportunity to serve me.  Please get me a glass of milk!"  We always laughed and worked hard to find opportunities for the other person to serve us.  I don't think the Lord expects us to show mercy to others at the expense of ourselves.  But isn't it nice when we can show actual mercy to others?

Remember the shooting of the Amish school children, and how the Amish people showed mercy to the shooters family?  Right now there is a book at Deseret Book about a man who showed mercy towards the person who caused the car accident that claimed the life of his wife and children.  We don't need these dramatic situations to happen in order to show mercy.  Sometimes we need to show mercy to people who are just suffering from their own situations, not because they have done anything to harm or hurt us.  All people need to know they are accepted.  When we don't show that acceptance we are not showing mercy.

If I want mercy I must show mercy.  That is the Gold Rule.  Do unto others as ye would have others do unto you.  I have to do it first.

Hunger and Thirst After Righteousness

Have you ever noticed the difference between the Beatitudes the Savior taught to his disciples in Jerusalem and the words He spoke to the Nephites?  His first sermon said "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6)  The second time He said, "blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost."  (3 Nephi 12:6)  It seems to be human nature that in times of trial, when we need support and help, we turn to the Savior.  It is sometimes difficult for me to keep up the energy needed to 'hunger and thirst' because of the doldrums of everyday life.  I say my prayers, read my scriptures, read other uplifting books (like this one on the Beatitudes), along with all the other "Sunday school" answers like fasting, going to church, etc.  I go through life just living each day, watching for times when I can help others.  But do I really 'hunger and thirst' except in times of great personal need?  Or should I be expected to?

Look at Enos, and Alma the younger.  They each had a great period in their lives when they needed to know about the gospel.  As Chris Hudson points out: "

" Enos described his quest for knowledge as a 'wrestle which I had before God" (Enos 1:2).             Notice that he wasn't wrestling with God, but before God.  The wrestle was within himself."

Enos then says that his soul hungered and he cried in prayer all day long.  And all night long.  (Enos 1:4)  He had listened to his father all his life, but it was only when his own soul hungered for a testimony that he actually did what he had to do to receive his own testimony and prayed in a way that his voice reached heaven.

Alma was also upset when he remembered his sins, but he also remembered his father's teaching, so he reached to Christ and, in his own words "my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" (Alma 36:18-20)  It took three entire days of torment for Alma to finally feel that he was relieved of his sins.

Neither story tells us what happens after Enos gains his testimony, or Alma was forgiven of his sins.  I am sure the everyday life crept into their life as well.  We don't hear of them proclaiming their righteousness throughout the rest of their lives, but they did continue to do good.  And when they were faced with more trials, which they were because they are mortals and that is what happens, they knew that their Heavenly Father loved them, and would fill them with feelings of acceptance and love when they needed it most.

We need to remember that we have to put in the effort to discover within ourselves the spiritual strength that only God knew we have.  When we put in that effort the Savior will give us the blessings He promised: We will be filled with the Holy Ghost.  We should be praying for this everyday, so we know on those days when everything seems just too much, we know that our Heavenly Father will give us His strength, and we will be filled with the Holy Ghost.

If You Think You Are, You're Not

The very first sentence Jesus taught his disciples in the sermon He gave on the mount was "Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  (Matthew 5:3)   Modern translation of these words from the literal language of the time tells us the 'poor in spirit' are those who are poor in pride, or humble in spirit. He is telling us that before anything else, comes a humble heart, ready to be taught.

It has always been difficult for me to understand the difference between 'pride' and good self-esteem.  But Bro. Hudson explains it so I can understand. Satan wants us to have pride because it is the opposite of humility.  Pride doesn't let us think we are not worthy, but that we are MORE worthy than others, that we deserve more, better, and best, for whatever reason.  President Benson said"  The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not...It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure."  (Ensign May 1989 4)

I can 'humbly come before Thee now" as the song says , or say "I am very humbled to be here today", but if I say it thinking how lucky I am to be there, or how lucky someone is to have me there, I am not being humble.  If I tell others all the nice things I am doing, all the scripture studying I am doing, all the private feelings I have, I am not being poor in spirit.  To be poor in spirit I need to show that I realize Christ has given me so much, and recognize that it is because of Him that I have the things that I have, not because I have worked for them, or sacrificed for them, or purchased them with my hard-earned money, or read enough scriptures to be blessed with possessions, or any other type of self-inflated ideas.  I need to recognize that Christ is the center of my life, that Christ is the giver of all things, and that I am eternally indebted to him for all that I have and am.  And with that knowledge comes the responsibility to act in a proper way, to give, and be helpful to others. If I remember to do these difficult things, which I can do with the help of the Lord, I will have 'the kingdom of heaven."

If it was just that easy.

A Word About Meekness

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.  (Matthew 5:5)

When I studied this chapter I was a bit confused.  The author focused on personal behavior, choosing to be nice, not speaking words that are offensive to others.  Then he went into using power to your own advantage, either as a student, a child, a parent, boss, etc.  I started to wonder "Where is the meekness?  Where does that all fit in?"  You see, I was thinking that meekness means to be quiet, shy, soft, maybe even weak, and several other synonyms.  I wasn't seeing where he was going.

Then he started to talk about Alma, when he gave up the kingdom to preach the gospel.  He didn't want to power of being the king, but choose to serve God and help his fellowmen.  Christ also refused to be called a king, running away when the people wished to elevate them to this standard.  He denounced Satan when he was promising Christ all the kingdom, even though it wasn't his to give.  Paul said "put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering" (Colossians 3:8, 12)

The author finally then brings it all together for me.  He explains that when we cultivate meekness we care less about who is the best, has the most, or who is powerful, and concentrate on how we can help others.  Alma knew that he would be better off not being the kingdom and working with the people.  He didn't want the love of the world, but was very meek in his wish to help others, not tear them down, or rule over them.  So then the author wonders, so why are we told that, because Alma was meek, that he would inherit the earth?  He gave up the kingdom, but why give him the earth?    What does it really mean to 'inherit the earth'?

By being meek and submission, we are learning to be more like Christ.  Since the world is his, He can give us everything, if we accept the Atonement into our lives and do what we need to do to return to Him.  We can inherit a place in the kingdom of God and inherit everything our experience on earth can make available to us.  

"On that day we will finally understand the the strength we gain through our meek, gentle, and unselfish service to the Master was the only power genuinely worth seeking.  The rest was just distraction."

Meek?  Focus on the Lord and not on what the world can give me, or what the rest of the world is doing.  Keep focused on what is right and looking for how I can do good each day.  Humbly look over what I am doing and find ways to be better.  Do it without the witness of the world.  Everyone doesn't need to see what good things I do because then I will be elevating myself.  Step off the throne and get busy doing good.

This chapter was a bit harder to understand, but I feel I might understand it a little better than before.

It Wasn't What I Thought It Would Be

Matthew 5:4  Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.  

When I started reading about this Beatitude I focused on the word 'mourn'.  Doesn't that mean when people are sad because someone close to them has died, passed away.  I know from experience that the spirit of Christ is very close at those times and I really have felt comforted.  I remember when my dad died and the different reactions I witnessed that day standing in his bedroom watching his wife and her daughter as they sobbed and howled, reminding me of the pictures I have seen on the news when people of other faiths have carried on in mourning.  I didn't feel that need; I felt comfort.  I was sad, I felt sorrow, but I was comforted.  It wasn't easy being in that situation.  But because I have a testimony of the plan of salvation and life after death, I was comforted. (In fact, I remember looking in the ceiling corners looking for the spirits I was sure were there in the room with us.)  I always thought that was the kind of 'mourning' this scripture was talking about.  But I now have a little bit more to think about.

Life is what it is - a mortal experience.  We aren't promised that if we do what is right we will not suffer.  We will all face sad times.  We will all mourn.  We will all have problems to overcome.  We will all have sad times.  We can't expect that by just living the gospel we will be free from the pains of a mortal world.  It will come, and we will be faced with many obstacles that cause us to mourn.  The gospel does not protect us from challenges because these challenges are part of the plan.  We have to learn to overcome them, in whatever form they take.  Living the gospel helps us to see through that pain and learn gospel principals in a way that we can someday return to our Father in Heaven.  There is no other way.  We have to suffer, learn, and act.

According to President Huston's book, those who don't turn to Christ will continue to suffer in some form, but if we turn to Him we will have "comfort, not bitterness, peace instead of pain; great love instead of profound emptiness."

He then goes on and reminds us of the Nephites when Christ visited them.  (3 Nephi 8).  The world had been destroyed.  What few people remained had lost everything that was important to them.  They were in the darkest of dark worlds, so dark that they couldn't see a lighted fire or their hand in front of their face.  They could hear crying, creaking of the earth.  I can't imagine the pain of the parents looking for their children, their own parents, the people they loved.  And the people left were the more righteous ones.  I'm sure that didn't take their pain away.  They hadn't done things as wrong as the other people,  but still the Lord said "will ye not now return unto me and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?" (3 Nephi 9:13).

Did they think, "Yeah, right.  We have been destroyed and you are telling me that I need to repent? Where is your compassion?  Don't you see I am hurting down here!"  But Christ knew there were lessons they needed to learn.

He had just finished teaching Peter this same lesson. He told Peter, his closest disciple, "I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not; and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren" (Luke 22:32)  Wasn't Peter already converted?  Apparently he also had a few lessons to learn, but he didn't think so.  He protested, "Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison and to death!". (Luke 22:33)  Christ knew that Peter was going to have problems in the near future and he needed to be reminded that he needed to be converted, or to study and learn.  Peter learned, and became even stronger.

Did the Nephites learn?  They did because "....the mourning, and the weeping, and the wailing of the people who were spared alive did cease; and their mourning was turned into joy, and their lamentations into the praise and thanksgiving unto the Lord Jesus Christ, their Redeemer" (3 Nephi 10:10).  His peace is there for me if I surrender my self, the person I am now to be the person He wants me to be.  I must give up my pride and learn how to allow Christ to help me. By suffering and learning to lean on Christ, I can find His comfort.

Christ wants us to lean on Him for comfort, not hand our pain to others, hoping they will take it away.  No one can.  I will still mourn after the meal are brought in and eaten, after the flowers have died and been thrown away, after the kind words have been said.  I will still hurt when it looks like others have gone on with life. I will get upset at the world, at my situation, at the other people who are causing me pain.  I can react in a way that causes others to hurt as I am hurting, but what good does that do me? Perhaps that is one of the lessons Christ wants me to learn....that I might be hurting others to take the pain from me, and that I should be asking for the pain to leave, not giving it away.

I will find comfort when I come until Him.  Like Peter, I will falter.  Like the Nephites I will continue to cry.  I will still feel pain and look for help in the mortal world.  I need His comfort.  One of His many names is "Comforter."

Morgan's Special Day

I didn't get the chance to blog about Morgan's special baptism day.  I was kind of all broken up that weekend after surgery on my arm.  But I want her to know how proud we were of her on that special day.  She looked so beautiful in her white dress.  I loved how she tried not to smile too much, cause her cute grin is so beautiful.  I was also proud of my son to be able to do such a special ordinance for his daughter.  That is a mom's proud moment, even if we aren't supposed to be prideful.  I'm not posting a picture of Morgan that day because I don't have one!  Also, I haven't asked her mom if I can, which would be proper to do before posting it.  But since I don't have one.....you will just have to know that on that day she was my most favorite eight-year-old granddaughter in the world!  Thanks for the fun picnic and good company.  It was a great day.

Love you Morgan!  Hope we can spend some time together this summer before we all start back into school.

A Book Most Needed

Last spring I found a book in my house that I had never seen before.  I don't know where it came from.  I certainly didn't purchase it.  I figured someone must have left it, but I don't know when and who it came from.  None of my children will admit to leaving it, but none-the-less, it was here for me to read.  I picked it up and started reading.  What a joy it was. I have loved the things I have been taught.  The book is Blessed Are Ye: Finding Your Unique Path to Christ by Chris Huston.  It is filled with his thoughts concerning the Beatitude's, the first lessons taught by Christ while he was on the mountainside.  All of His teachings, His lessons and sermons, can be found in the simple verses in Matthew Chapter 5.  (I have searched for this book on-line but can't find it.  The publisher has gone out of business so I don't think it is available any more.)

After reading it I put it aside, but picked it up again to study a bit deeper.  With my broken arm I had lots of time to really study the book, along with the scriptures found in each chapter.  I decided to really get into the book and learn more about the lessons that I need to learn.  I think that is why it was just 'dropped off' at my home.

This week I have poured over verse 9:  "Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God."

What greater name can we have than to be a child of God?  That is one of the first songs we learn in Primary.  We teach our children that they are children of God.  Why do we have such a difficult time believing that adults are also children of God?  Why do we (speaking of myself) not act as though we believe we are children of God?  What do I need to change within myself so I am more deserving of that title?  It says right in this scripture: Those who are called children of God are the peacemakers.

President Hudson reminds me that I need to have a 'mighty change of heart' as described in Alma 5:14.  I need to work on myself to change my heart so I can be a peacemaker.  I admit that I fly off the cuff a lot when I need to be more peaceful.  I need to be aware of how I can change my attitude so I can see things in a more peaceful frame of mind.  I need that change of heart.  I am working to remember that, and doing things that have been very difficult so I can bring more peace into my life, and hopefully the life of others, especially my family.  I can't change their situations, but I can bring more peace to their minds if I change my heart.

He reminds me that the Golden Rule is just what I need to focus on.  I have been the recipient of kindness when I have been in despair.  I need to give that kindness to others when I see they need that care.  Have you ever felt lonely, sad, or discouraged and someone did something to show they cared?  Why is it so hard for me to remember that, to let go of my comfort zone, and give to others when I know how much it helped me?  Even if the person needing comfort wasn't the one to give me the encouragement, I need to "pass it on" and help when I see a need. I need to not judge and say they aren't deserving of my care, not leave them alone to take care of their sorrowful feelings themselves.  Although they may have gotten themselves into a situation, it doesn't hurt to show that I love them anyway.  I know that kind of love helped me.  We are told to have unconditional love, so I shouldn't put conditions on my love.

Robert S. Wood is quoted:  "...beware of those who stir us up to such anger that calm reflection and charitable feelings are suppressed." (Ensign, May 2006, 93).  If I can't show charitable feelings and calmness, I are not able to be a peacemaker, and thereby not able to be called a child of God.

Man! He says so many things that hit home to me, knocked me over the head, and hopefully, I am going to be able to be better.   Take this quote from Theodore M. Burton:  "Satan would rather have you contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness.  He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise."  (Ensign, November 1974, 54).

President Hudson pointed out that we must make peace, by 'gentleness and meekness, and love unfeigned".  If we feel there is contention, no peace, then we must make it by showing love unfeigned. I had to look up the word 'unfeigned' to see the true meaning.  It means 'real, not fake'.  I must love the people I need to make peace with, or those people who need some peace in their life, or those whom I feel contention with.   "The peace offered by the Savior calls for empathy rather than judgment, forgiveness instead of resentment, ....active assistance instead of benign neglect, and a life that reflects spiritual dignity instead of natural passions." (Blessed Are Ye, p. 87)   I take that to mean I need to feel their pain and want to help them instead of judging them, forgive them instead of feel even a little bit of anger towards them, help them instead of just saying 'Let me know what I can do', and do as Christ would do instead of acting as I normally do. It can be a simple phone call, a text message, a message written just to them on Facebook, a card in the mail, something.   That means I need to change a lot!

At the end of the chapter he reminds me that I have the birthright to be God's child, no matter what.  But in order to return to Him, and live with Him, I need to learn how to show this love to others.

I know I have a lot of work to do in this area.  It isn't something that will just happen because I know it should, it isn't a one time thing, it isn't just change one little thing in my life.  It will take a lifetime.  I hope people can be patient with me as I go on this journey of change.  I won't get it right the first time, the second time, fifth, tenth, or many.  I might get it right once in a while.  But I will be trying.  Please be kind as I work on it.

Castle Valley Pageant

It is that time of year when people in Emery County get ready for local parades, town celebrations, and the Castle Valley Pageant.  A few years ago our pageant was moved from a yearly pageant, to every-other-year, sharing the time slot with the Martin Harris Pageant in Cache Valley. 

The pageant has grown from a small stake production to a LDS church sponsored pageant.  It tells the story about the settling of our area, known as Castle Valley.  People living in Sanpete County were asked to travel over the mountain and settle this valley.  It was a very difficult place to live and the settlers faced many hardships.  The story includes scenes of the settlers meeting with the native people in the area, teaching them about the Book of Mormon.  They are taught about Samuel the Lamanite, a great prophet. You see Samuel standing on the wall and witness the people throwing stones at him at he teaches about Christ. Other scenes include the crucifixion of Christ, which always bring such a stirring spirit as you see Christ raised up on the cross.  And, of course, there was a resurrection, which is depicted with Christ walking among the people.  The spirit this scene brings is amazing.  The pageant is something everyone would enjoy.

You will want to come to the pageant early and enjoy a walk through the stage area.  Visitors are encouraged to walk through the dugout, ride the horses and buggies, watch the wheelwright, learn to churn butter, make quilts, and many other pioneer crafts.  You can also get a prairie diamond, which is a horseshoe nail shaped into a ring. 

At 8:30 the pre-pageant show begins.  This is a very beautiful ceremony honoring the men and women of the armed forces.  Visitors in the audience who have served in the armed forces are invited to stand and be honored as their unit flags are carried in by riders on horses.  Everyone stands for the Star-Spangled Banner at the end of the ceremony.  It is a wonderful way to honor those brave people who serve our country.

If you arrive in the valley early enough, you can get a bite to each in Castle Dale at the park near the rodeo ground where a traditional lamb fry and chicken dinner is available for a reasonable price. 


Dates for the pageant are August 2-4, and 7-11.  For more information follow the link above.