Compassion

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the word "Compassion."  Does it always mean to give a meal to someone?  To give a shoulder to cry on? Does it mean that someone is sad and someone listens to them?  Does it mean to be sad along with someone?  I looked up the word in an on-line dictionary (Are there many off-line dictionaries being used any more?) and found this definition:

Compassion is an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another; to show special kindness to those who suffer. Compassion essentially arises through empathy, and is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.

Compassionate acts are generally considered those which take into account the suffering of others and attempt to alleviate that suffering as if it were one’s own. In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are clearly based on the concept of compassion.Compassion differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.

OK. I can go along with that, especially the last sentence: its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.


Why is compassion such a difficult trait for some people to show? We learn from our church leaders that compassion is a sign of strength. So why are we so quick to judge someone who is in a poor situation, instead of showing compassion for them? Why do we just to "It was their own choice that got them here!" instead of feeling compassion and the desire to help them out of their suffering. And I don't mean to literally help them out of their suffering by handing over money to purchase food, or pay rent, or buy new clothes, or whatever might be helpful at the time. But many times all a person needs is to know that someone cares and is willing to listen.


An other factor of compassion would be when someone delays making a decision, or doesn't want things known to another person because of the ridicule they feel would come to them from someone that should love and care for them. As a Latter-Day Saint, is it so easy to be the person others think might ridicule them? It might happen more than we think. It is easy to think that our actions don't hurt others when, if we take a step back and place ourselves in the shoes of others, we might see that,yeah, maybe we are being a big harsh, and we need to alleviate the suffering, instead of defending our own feelings. After all, it isn't a sign of weakness.

I am still not sure that compassion must always be when someone is suffering. Remember when the scriptures told us to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those that need comfort"? Lately I have come to feel that we must show compassion for those who are happy as well. Why not rejoice when someone rejoices? Maybe I am missing a word here that I should remember, but when something good happens to someone else, shouldn't we be happy with them? Is "empathy" the right word for that, or does empathy mean to understand how someone feels when they are down or sad?


I have witnessed several times the last few weeks when someone has experienced something good, good in their own eyes. A blessing has happened in their lives, a goal reached, or a milestone approached. But there are some people who just can't rejoice with them. Instead, they secretly question or show a great lack of caring for the person. I don't understand this. Why not be happy for them?

I remember my dad telling of "a certain man lived in town" (Dad always taught in parables.) This man was able to purchase a new vehicle but most of his friends taunted him, ridiculed his choice of models, teased his ability to pay for it, etc. Dad learned a lesson at that time to just tell the man that he admired his ability to get this new vehicle. He rejoiced with him, let him talk about his new purchase. It didn't take anything away from Dad's life, but made the man happy for a few minutes. The man also left with more respect for Dad because he showed compassion to him.

In the scripture story about Joseph and his brothers, remember that Joseph had all the reasons in the world to feel bitter toward his brothers. They sold him away! They hated him! They lied about him! They wanted him gone. But when Joseph saw their condition, and knew he could help them, he showed compassion. He didn't wait for them to say they were sorry, and to beg his forgiveness. Joseph did what he knew he should do. He knew that God had placed him in a position to help his brothers. And he did what needed to be done.

I don't believe the Lord expects us to give of our stored food and all of our worldly gains in order to show compassion. But a simple kind word, an acknowledgment of a blessing, an invitation to associate with us goes a long way to showing compassion to others. Joseph did this by inviting his brothers to live near him, and he would nourish them. He didn't banish them to outer darkness. He didn't say "Only my father can come with me because he didn't sale me away." He looked at compassion on the suffering of his brothers and knew he was responsible for showing kindness to them.

If we are to liken the scriptures unto ourselves, should we show compassion for others by joining in with their joy? And letting them know we feel their happiness? Or should we ridicule others and cause them to feel ashamed because of our own high stature? Or should we look at those who may be caused us pain and invite them into our celebrations anyway, because that is what we should do? Or should we look at their situation and say "It is because of what they did?"

I having been thinking a lot about the trait of Compassion lately. I also found this to think about:

Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone.”

I don't know about you, but I need less stress in my life. However, I know that some people will think that by showing compassion and forgiveness more stress is caused in their lives. But the Lord has promised us peace when we are kind to others.

But there are other benefits as well, and these are emotional and spiritual. The main benefit is that it helps you to be more happy, and brings others around you to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. It is therefore of utmost importance that we cultivate compassion in our lives and practice compassion every day.

This article is great for teaching us how to develop compassion. It is a skill that needs to be practiced. Perhaps you might want to read it as well. Here is another article that I have been reading. Just some food for thought. But good food.

The best examples of compassion come from our Savior, Jesus Christ. The scriptures are filled with stories of the compassion He has for others. If we truly wish to become more Christlike in our actions, we might want to work on showing compassion to others. I know that is something I am going to be studying and working on this summer. I will be looking up scriptures that teach compassion and writing them in my scripture journal. That is one of my study goals.

What are your study plans?

A Book Most Needed

Last spring I found a book in my house that I had never seen before.  I don't know where it came from.  I certainly didn't purchase it.  I figured someone must have left it, but I don't know when and who it came from.  None of my children will admit to leaving it, but none-the-less, it was here for me to read.  I picked it up and started reading.  What a joy it was. I have loved the things I have been taught.  The book is Blessed Are Ye: Finding Your Unique Path to Christ by Chris Huston.  It is filled with his thoughts concerning the Beatitude's, the first lessons taught by Christ while he was on the mountainside.  All of His teachings, His lessons and sermons, can be found in the simple verses in Matthew Chapter 5.  (I have searched for this book on-line but can't find it.  The publisher has gone out of business so I don't think it is available any more.)

After reading it I put it aside, but picked it up again to study a bit deeper.  With my broken arm I had lots of time to really study the book, along with the scriptures found in each chapter.  I decided to really get into the book and learn more about the lessons that I need to learn.  I think that is why it was just 'dropped off' at my home.

This week I have poured over verse 9:  "Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God."

What greater name can we have than to be a child of God?  That is one of the first songs we learn in Primary.  We teach our children that they are children of God.  Why do we have such a difficult time believing that adults are also children of God?  Why do we (speaking of myself) not act as though we believe we are children of God?  What do I need to change within myself so I am more deserving of that title?  It says right in this scripture: Those who are called children of God are the peacemakers.

President Hudson reminds me that I need to have a 'mighty change of heart' as described in Alma 5:14.  I need to work on myself to change my heart so I can be a peacemaker.  I admit that I fly off the cuff a lot when I need to be more peaceful.  I need to be aware of how I can change my attitude so I can see things in a more peaceful frame of mind.  I need that change of heart.  I am working to remember that, and doing things that have been very difficult so I can bring more peace into my life, and hopefully the life of others, especially my family.  I can't change their situations, but I can bring more peace to their minds if I change my heart.

He reminds me that the Golden Rule is just what I need to focus on.  I have been the recipient of kindness when I have been in despair.  I need to give that kindness to others when I see they need that care.  Have you ever felt lonely, sad, or discouraged and someone did something to show they cared?  Why is it so hard for me to remember that, to let go of my comfort zone, and give to others when I know how much it helped me?  Even if the person needing comfort wasn't the one to give me the encouragement, I need to "pass it on" and help when I see a need. I need to not judge and say they aren't deserving of my care, not leave them alone to take care of their sorrowful feelings themselves.  Although they may have gotten themselves into a situation, it doesn't hurt to show that I love them anyway.  I know that kind of love helped me.  We are told to have unconditional love, so I shouldn't put conditions on my love.

Robert S. Wood is quoted:  "...beware of those who stir us up to such anger that calm reflection and charitable feelings are suppressed." (Ensign, May 2006, 93).  If I can't show charitable feelings and calmness, I are not able to be a peacemaker, and thereby not able to be called a child of God.

Man! He says so many things that hit home to me, knocked me over the head, and hopefully, I am going to be able to be better.   Take this quote from Theodore M. Burton:  "Satan would rather have you contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness.  He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise."  (Ensign, November 1974, 54).

President Hudson pointed out that we must make peace, by 'gentleness and meekness, and love unfeigned".  If we feel there is contention, no peace, then we must make it by showing love unfeigned. I had to look up the word 'unfeigned' to see the true meaning.  It means 'real, not fake'.  I must love the people I need to make peace with, or those people who need some peace in their life, or those whom I feel contention with.   "The peace offered by the Savior calls for empathy rather than judgment, forgiveness instead of resentment, ....active assistance instead of benign neglect, and a life that reflects spiritual dignity instead of natural passions." (Blessed Are Ye, p. 87)   I take that to mean I need to feel their pain and want to help them instead of judging them, forgive them instead of feel even a little bit of anger towards them, help them instead of just saying 'Let me know what I can do', and do as Christ would do instead of acting as I normally do. It can be a simple phone call, a text message, a message written just to them on Facebook, a card in the mail, something.   That means I need to change a lot!

At the end of the chapter he reminds me that I have the birthright to be God's child, no matter what.  But in order to return to Him, and live with Him, I need to learn how to show this love to others.

I know I have a lot of work to do in this area.  It isn't something that will just happen because I know it should, it isn't a one time thing, it isn't just change one little thing in my life.  It will take a lifetime.  I hope people can be patient with me as I go on this journey of change.  I won't get it right the first time, the second time, fifth, tenth, or many.  I might get it right once in a while.  But I will be trying.  Please be kind as I work on it.

A New Year

If today is any indication of what the new year will be, it must be a great one!  What a wonderful way to start out the year for me.  I realize that not everyone is starting out the year with happiness and good things going on, but I sure did need the jump-start I got today.

First of all, we had a later church, so I didn't have to get up at my usual waking time to be to church by 9:00.  I actually slept until about 7:30, when just did not much until time to get ready for church.  We always leave for church about one-half hour before it is time for the meeting to start, at least that is our goal.  I am usually at the organ and I like to be playing before people start coming into the chapel.  And Garth has the calling to be an usher so he likes to be at his post early, so 10:30 was the time we wanted to go out the door.  At almost 10:00 I was in the process of getting the final touches on myself when I realized we should have been listening to The Spoken Word while we were getting ready.  I quickly turned on the TV and listened to the last song.  Then we just kept watching as the next show came on. It was a new show to us, since we have been in church by this time during the past year.  It is called Mormon Times and is hosted by Michelle King.  She had a guest author on who was speaking about her book.  I was sold on it as soon as she started to speak.  It is called "Live Life...and See Good Days".  She told that in her book she has 12 ways to see the good in every day, but today she focused on just three.  She was full of scriptures that helped her make her points.  Oh, to know the scriptures like she must!  (I ended up finding the book at Deseret Book and got an ebook copy for less than $10.00!  Can't wait to read it!)

Point #1 - Rise above what you are asked to do.  I didn't get the scripture for this reference, but she talked about how the Lord will help us overcome any obstacle we are met with.
Point #2 - Let your heart have great experiences - Sometimes we have to allow our hearts to feel and experience the good in things.
Point #3 - List what you love - Alma did so in his writing, even though he went through many trials.  In Alma 26:37 he is listing what good things he had, and how much joy he experienced, even through his trials. Ester spoke of her days of gladness.  She showed her Grandmother's Happiness journal, where she wrote the things that made her happy.  What a keepsake to have.

The show then went on to other things, but I went into the kitchen and looked through the latest Ensign.  I read the article on page 17 from Bro. Todd Christofferson, about how we need to keep close to the Lord every day so we can get the blessing He has for us.  He told how the people of Israel relied on the Lord giving them manna for their food each day.  It took them 40 years to learn that the Lord will keep his promise of manna, of food enough for their substance, to learn that they can rely on the Lord in all things.  He stressed that we also need to learn this lesson, that we can count on Him to give us the blessings we need when we learn to rely on Him and learn to go to Him with our needs.  This just really struck me and gave me lots to think about.

We saw a really nice video on the writing of the Book of Mormon in Sunday.  It was a seminary video, but helped me remember that the plates of gold are abridgements of larger plates, and who wrote each part of the Book of Mormon.  I liked it and hope we can see more.  It's been a long time since I have been to Seminary, and I know we didn't have fun videos like that!  More like film strips!

Then, the frosting on the cake, came at Relief Society.  I think it was meant just for me.  Our Relief Society president said she was inspired to have her sister-in-law speak to us.  I had noticed that most of the Law family was here visiting and was excited to get a hug from Janice Law, Dallin's wife.  They always sit in front of us, and they are always kind to us and acknowledge us every time they visit.  They know how special Bro. and Sister Law have been to our family.  So when I heard she was giving the lesson I knew it would be special.

Janice spoke about trials she has had to overcome in her life and how her trials have helped her turn to  Christ.  Her main thought was spoken many times:
 Whatever you focus on expands. 
Truer words can not be spoken! She stressed that we should be careful what we think about because it will consume our thoughts and grow out of porportion to reality.  You can find proof for what you look for.  If you feel you have been slighted or mistreated and that is your focus, you will find all the proof you need to convince yourself, and others, that you are right.  She told of a time when she felt down about things others had done, and she went to the Lord to find out what to do.  Her answer was to "bury your weapons' or the things you use to hurt others or to keep your pain going.  Just as the Book of Mormon people were told to bury their weapons so they wouldn't fight any more.  She quoted Ezekiel 36:26-27 where the Lord tells us that He will give us a new heart, a new spirit.  We need to pray to get that spirit and heart so that we don't feel the pain from others, and before we spread the pain on to others. 

She stressed that putting our focus on Christ will help us overcome any negative thoughts we might have, whether they are about ourselves, or our lot in life.  If we have difficult appointments we need to go to, if we focus on how the Lord can (and will) help us, we will see that the time will go much better.  If we focus on how difficult it is, we will see that it is difficult.  We need to put our focus on how He will help us, not how He tries us. 

She gave us several pointers on how we can focus on Christ.  #1 - Choose a street that you drive on every day, and decide that while you are on that street, or block, or area, that you will think about Christ.  #2 - Think about Christ as you fall asleep, thinking of stories or scriptures about Him, or ways you felt close to Him that day.  #3 - Tell yourself that you will think about Him at certain times of the day (doing dishes, or combing hair) and make it a habit.  Moroni 7:33 If you have faith in Him, He will give you power. 

She told how she was very hurt by something someone said, and how she wanted to call her mom, or her sister, or someone and tell how hurt she was.  Then she decided to kneel and pray about her hurt, realizing that if you focus on anger it will get bigger, but if you focus on Christ and think of the other person also at the feet of Christ asking for forgiveness, it makes it a little easier to calm those hurtful thoughts.  After Mormon had seen the terrible state of his people and the horrible things they were doing, he still wanted his son, Moroni, to remember how the Lord can lift you up.  Moroni 9:25.  If we are faithful to Christ, He will lift us upward.  Another scripture she used was D&C6:36-37.  Look unto Him in every thought, doubt not, fear not.

I really was impressed with the quote "Whatever you focus on Expands".  I see that in so many parts of my life, and those around me.  Some of those thoughts can consume us, while others help us to grow. No matter what situation we are in, we can look for good, and focus on good.  Especially focus on how the Lord can help us.  There is reason for everything, and He will help us find the lesson in all our situations.  We just need to focus on Him.

Happy Fathers Day!

My computer is down so I am slow in posting this. I am borrowing my daughter's computer and waited until after church. I wanted to wish all the fathers in my life a very happy Father's Day. First of all, my husband, because he is the father of my children. He has always been a wonderful father and example to them all. They reach out to him for advice and comfort. He has provided for us well, even creating jobs for the children while they were in school. He has taught them the honor of hard work by working along side them. He expected them to always do better than their best. He has helped them move so many times we can't count them anymore, but he has done it willingly and with pride at their accomplishments as they go to the next part of their lives. He is a great example of a priesthood holder, one who honors his priesthood and tries to do what the Lord expects him to do. He was instrumental in having scripture study every morning at 6:00 before he went to work. Our children grew up knowing they were expected to be with us to read the scriptures every morning, to have family prayers, and to attend their church meetings. They call on him to give them Father's blessings and he is so honored when they do so. He honores his own father by following his example.
My own father is also a great father. I remember riding to high school with him and hearing him sing "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date." (From Alice in Wonderland)He taught his four daughters to respect our mother and to exercise good stewardship over our possessions. He was a great teacher in our public school system, back when teachers were able to really talk with students and get to know them. He spent many hours in the driver's education car talking with students and helping them with their problems. He encouraged me to go to college, and then to finally finish my education and become a teacher. He was there to encourage me to get my Masters degree a few years ago. He let us live with him for several months while looking for employment and housing. He loved my mother and stayed by her side throughout her illness until she was called home to live with Heavenly Father.
My own son is a great father to his two sweet children. He follows his father's example by helping at home. He doesn't expect his wife to do more than he is willing to do. They make a great team as they work together to teach their children. He has spent countless hours of study to reach his dream of being a doctor. We were so proud of him when he graduated from medical school and now as he begins his residency at Childrens Mercy. He will continue to be a great dad and will be a great doctor.
My daugher's husband, Josh, is a great father to their three childen. The kids look up to him and love when he is around. He is working so hard on teaching his children to read the scriptures and have family prayer. He is willing to sacrifice for them as he looks for employment that will allow them to begin a new part of their lives. When Kayden was in the hospital Josh was there to help out and relieve Tammy of the burden of his daily care. He is much more confident with giving Kayden his medications than I am. When I am asked to babysit in the evenings, (which isn't very often)I rely on Josh to get the medications ready, or to give them to him. We appreciate his help around the house. Yesterday he helped Garth get the new roof on the deck, and he mows the lawn for us.
Nancy's husband, Dallas, loves her and Tyler so much. He is a good provider for them, and loves to spend time with them. He is so kind to help Nancy as she works at night, to watch Tyler and be there for him, to allow Nancy her sleep time while he plays with Tyler. I am a little worried about that motorcycle Nancy wants him to drive to work, but........We are proud of the work he does, even if we don't understand computer programming languages! We know he is brilliant in that area.
I have great brothers-in-laws who are so kind to us and who help us when needed. Each one is special to us for so many reasons.
My father-in-law was a great man, great in stature and honor. His example helped to mold my husband into the father he is. His legacy will live on through his children and grandchildren, and the many great-grandchildren.
And most of all, I love my Father in Heaven. To Him I give all my love and thanks for everything for which I have been blessed. I pray that I can honor his name and live my life so I can feel His spirit and direction in all I do. That some day I will be able to see that He is proud of me.