Family Funeral

Attending a funeral isn't the way most of us would choose to spend an afternoon, but what a nice funeral it was. The nephews and neices who spoke did such a wonderful job of recalling experiences they had with their favorite aunt. Everyone recalled her infectious laugh and big smile, the hardships she has gone through and her love for her family. The song that was sung is one I found many years ago and tucked into my piano bench with instructions for my high school friend to sing at my own funeral. She sang it yesterday and it was beautiful. The family plot just inside the gate of the cemetery brought back thoughts of grandparents and family members who would be so happy to be able to greet her in heaven. Although funerals are a celebration of life, and mark the end of a mortal existence, it is also a time for family to gather. It was so nice to see so many family members. There were only a few cousins who weren't able to travel to attend, and it felt so good to see the rest of us there. All in all, it was a very nice day.

I was so touched seeing how difficult a time one family member was having. Although I haven't seen him for a very long time, over 34 years at least (did I really graduate from high school that many years ago?), it was so good to be able to hug him and have him cry on my shoulder. At the cemetery he was having such a difficult time and I felt impressed to speak to him again. I went up to him and hugged him and told him that I know his sister is free from her pain, and that she wants him to know that the things they were taught about the spirit world were true. That she is with Grandpa and Grandma, free and happy, and to just know that it is true. He sobbed and sobbed and said "How did you know I needed to know that? Boy, did I need a kicker to get me thinking about all this. How did you know I needed that?" I silently prayed and told the Lord, "See, I am working on following those little impessions. Thanks for helping me along."

One of the nephews who spoke was an "employee" in our little family business, a very special boy to us, one my own children admired for his athletic abilities and his brains. He did such a good job and looked so nice in his suit. I jokingly asked him, "Just how often do you speak in church like this?" And we laughed togethering knowing that his family wasn't active while he was living here. I then found out that he is now the Executive Secretary in his ward! Yes, as he would say, miracles happen! He and his beautiful wife have gone to the temple and he sees how important the gospel is in his life.

Perhaps that is one reason understanding death affects how we react in the situation. Death isn't an ending. Although it is sad that we will not have the person here to engage in conversation or to be a part of our mortal life, I know that life exists after this. That all those family members who have passed on will be there when we experience death. We will see them, associate with them, continue on our lives in a different sphere than here. That is so comforting to me. Not something I wish to experience for a while, but something that brings me comfort.

I am so thankful for my testimony of eternal families. Knowing we can be with our families forever makes death a lot easier to endure. The death of a family member is difficult enough, but without the truth of eternal famiies, it would be almost impossible to handle. Life does go on, and we will be together again.

Random Thoughts

This blog started with thoughts that came after the death of my good friend JoyLyn. Today I went to another funeral for another good friend and family member, Connie Ware. Connie worked at our school as a resource aide for about 25 years. She really loved the children and had a special place in her heart for all those who struggled to learn. She was very compassionate and loved to be love by them. I remember us laughing with her when she told the story of one little boy who looked at her so seriouslyand said when she sang she sounded like a horse. She laughed at that comment and never let us forget that she couldn't sing. She was very talented in art and loved to teach the students how to draw. She and I laughed together when one of our family did something really crazy, was was being stubborn. She would laugh and say "It's the Ware in them." I am going to truly miss Connie. But I know that she is feeling so much better now. She was in constant, terrible pain the past two years and is finally free from that painfilled body and her polio crippled leg. She was my son's second mother and a very good wife to my cousin. He stood by her side continually for the past 8 months. I am so glad I went to visit her on her birthday just two weeks before she passed away. I am so happy she is finally pain free again.

One of the family members who attended the funeral was Connie's cousin, Mack Wilberg, who has just yesterday been announced as the new conductor of the Tabernacle Choir. In a previous post I offered him my congratulations, but now it is official. Mack and I had a good visit while at the cemetary. He is still one of the most humble men I know. He very politely thanked everyone who came to shake his hand and give their congratulations. I am so honored to be able to call him my friend. As I said before, I can walk up to him and start a conversation just like we were talking yesterday. And I noticed he still laughs with a jiggle in his shoulders.

I have just been doing some serious thinking about life in general and what I want to work on in my own life. I know there are those out there who would be happy to tell me what I need to do to better myself, but I have plenty I am thinking about myself. I just need to remember one thing, no one is perfect and everyone can find fault if that is what they are looking for. I know I am far from perfect and have lots to work on to get better. And that is one of the reasons I am so thankful for repentance and the atonement of Jesus Christ.

I am reading another book about repentance and the atonement, knowing that I will never fully understand how it all works, but so grateful for the principle of repentence and the knowledge that I can work to become better. It doesn't matter if others don't want to allow me the chance to repent, and continue to think I am unacceptable. What matters most is that Christ is willing to help me overcome any obstacle, condition, or trait where I am lacking. He allows me to have my faults and helps me overcome them. I rely on His help daily and He is always there. Sometimes I struggle with knowing that He is near, but I am working on that as well. I am just thankful that He is not giving up on me yet.