Why This? Why Now? Why Me?

This life is a test.  I don't like taking tests!  But I need to remember that I agreed to this test.  That doesn't mean I have to like it, but I did agree.  And I know there is someone on the other side pulling for me, so that helps make it all just a bit easier.  Heck, I know a lot of people on the other side who are pulling for me.  Why can't I pull for myself?  I guess I need to clarify all this.  I am doing fine.  I am not having any difficulty emotionally or spiritually right now.  That isn't to say that tomorrow might be the same.  But right now I am fine.  Which is why I can see the errors of my thinking when I am down in the dumps and things go wrong.  It is always so difficult at that time, during our trials, to feel that everything is going wrong, that you don't get answers to prayers, that you don't understand why you have to go through another problem.  I guess that is why I feel the need to share what I have learned lately when I have not been in that strange darkness.

Long ago I read a book called If God Loves Me, Why This?  I found it again when I was cleaning off my bookshelf.  I started looking through it and thought someone I love really needs to read this.  So I packed it up and took it for a drive.  But during the next few weeks I really wanted to read it again, at least to look through the pages and find some comforting words for many other people I know who are going through trials.  So I took it back.  I know.  You shouldn't do that.  But I will give it away again, I promise.  Like the BFG said, "In about 80 years or so."  

The comforting part I really needed was to read again how much my Father in Heaven really does love me, even if I can't see that.  He is the 'perfect' parent.  The one who does everything right.  You know that kind.  Well, since He is perfect, He must know what my needs are and even if I don't feel He is near me, He really, truly is.  This book stresses that we must remember who we are and what our relationship to God is.  We also need to remember that Satan is the father of all lies, so he doesn't want us to be happy.  When we aren't happy, he is happy.  He wants to keep us away from our Heavenly Father.  Sometimes he does a good job of it, too.

But our Heavenly Father is still there.  Neal A. Maxwell said, "God has no distracting hobbies off somewhere in the universe.  We are at the very center of His concerns and purposes."  (Ensign, November 2003, 100.)  Must have been a conference talk.  But it is true.  God isn't involved in a hobby!  We are what brings Him joy.  He wants to help us. So he sent us to Earth to learn, knowing it would be difficult.  Boy was He ever right!

One line in the book tells us that perhaps God said, "It requires that I do not intervene to soften the impact of your choices--or the harmful effect that the choices of others would have upon you."  Oh, how true.  We have to experience consequences of choices made by others.  What we do with those consequences is our choice.  Then the book also says, "In many cases, those hurt most would be innocent of wrongdoing." Now, I don't know about you, but that is the first time I have ever read anyone acknowledge that those hurting might be innocent.  Think of our children who suffer because of nothing they have done.  God knows this.  But he can't stand in the way of the consequences.  The author goes on to say, "What if our options are limited by the decisions others make?  What if our physical condition keeps us from having meaningful life choices?  Then the mercy of a loving Father's plan is our hope.  The Atonement provides the final leveling of all our obstacles.  Our acceptance of the Savior's atoning sacrifice brings us home.  We are evaluated on our circumstances and the choices we would have made if we had been free to make them."  What powerful words to think about.  ....If we had been free to make them...... I guess He knows what we would have done by our past choices that we DO make.  Maybe I need to show HIM that I will make right choices for the things I do have control over.  "There is a way to provide for those who have been robbed of some of their life choice.  HE is the way, the truth, and the life.  He employeth no servant there" (2 Nephi9:41).  HE is the only one, the only way.  Because HE loves us, there is a way.

I love this sentence: "God doesn't love us because we are particularly lovable.  he loves us because he is God, he is our Father and he has chosen to love us."  God is perfect.  He loves everyone.  I know it is easy to think that God doesn't love ME when I am down.  But He has chosen to, and HE does.  Just as a parent loves their child.  He cares for us as we do our own children, only a whole lot more. Our children don't need to earn our love before we learn to love them.  We love them before we even see them.  Why is it so difficult to believe that God loves us as much?  We love our children unconditionally.  Why would God put conditions on His love?  Why do we think we have to "earn" His love?  When our child struggle and make poor choices, we still love them and want them to see the errors of their ways.  Why do we think God isn't the same?  Why do we suppose Father withdraws when we are less than perfect?  He doesn't.  We are the ones who move away from him.

Can you recognize the pride a parent feels when their child has been honored with some award, or does something so good that others take notice?  Well, guess what?  Our Father in Heaven feels that same pride.  When we make a good choice, we bring Him happiness.  He doesn't sit there and complain when we don't do it every day, but He rejoices with us in our happiness and our good choice.  Think of it this way:  When we make good choices, like going to church, paying our tithing, serving others willingly, relieving other's burdens, we are bringing happiness to HIM.  When we keep trying, He is happy.

Remember learning to ride a bike with training wheels?  Usually the Dad runs along beside the child on the bike, helping him/her learn to keep balance.  They know there will be a fall, a hurt knee, whatever.  But they don't say, "NO!  It is too dangerous! You can't ride a bike, ever!"  No, he runs along beside, giving a helping hand when needed.  Well, our Father in Heaven does the same thing.  He knows we will fall down, we will get hurt, we will be a wreck, but He is there to help us keep our balance, until we are ready to ride by ourselves.  And even then, he will be watching us, ready to help us if and when we fall again, because He knows we will.

We just need to keep trying.  Get back up on our bikes, cautiously pick up our feet and start to pedal again. He will smile at us, assure us He is there.  Then we have to keep going, making those good choices and decisions so He has to run to keep up with us.  He loves us as a father loves his son or daughter.  He wants us to be happy.  He knows what He has to do to be happy, and He wants us there with him.  But it is our choice.  That is the trail we are going through.  And when we can accept all of that in our lives, the other trials will be so much less of a burden.  He is there to help us through.  We just have to ask, and through the Holy Ghost, we will know what we must do.  When we think He must not love us because we have too much of a burden to bear, we need to remember that He has already paid the price of that burden.  We made the choice to do whatever it was to receive that burden, or the choices of others gave us these burdens, but Jesus already paid the price for them.  We just now have to make choices to overcome the effects of the choices.  Jesus agreed to pay the price before we even knew what the price would be!  We knew we would have problems, but Jesus said he would pay for it.  Now we just have to love Him because of his kindness and love, and show how much we appreciate his love by doing what He has asked us to do.  Get back on that bike and try it again! 

Compassion

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the word "Compassion."  Does it always mean to give a meal to someone?  To give a shoulder to cry on? Does it mean that someone is sad and someone listens to them?  Does it mean to be sad along with someone?  I looked up the word in an on-line dictionary (Are there many off-line dictionaries being used any more?) and found this definition:

Compassion is an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another; to show special kindness to those who suffer. Compassion essentially arises through empathy, and is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.

Compassionate acts are generally considered those which take into account the suffering of others and attempt to alleviate that suffering as if it were one’s own. In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are clearly based on the concept of compassion.Compassion differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.

OK. I can go along with that, especially the last sentence: its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.


Why is compassion such a difficult trait for some people to show? We learn from our church leaders that compassion is a sign of strength. So why are we so quick to judge someone who is in a poor situation, instead of showing compassion for them? Why do we just to "It was their own choice that got them here!" instead of feeling compassion and the desire to help them out of their suffering. And I don't mean to literally help them out of their suffering by handing over money to purchase food, or pay rent, or buy new clothes, or whatever might be helpful at the time. But many times all a person needs is to know that someone cares and is willing to listen.


An other factor of compassion would be when someone delays making a decision, or doesn't want things known to another person because of the ridicule they feel would come to them from someone that should love and care for them. As a Latter-Day Saint, is it so easy to be the person others think might ridicule them? It might happen more than we think. It is easy to think that our actions don't hurt others when, if we take a step back and place ourselves in the shoes of others, we might see that,yeah, maybe we are being a big harsh, and we need to alleviate the suffering, instead of defending our own feelings. After all, it isn't a sign of weakness.

I am still not sure that compassion must always be when someone is suffering. Remember when the scriptures told us to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those that need comfort"? Lately I have come to feel that we must show compassion for those who are happy as well. Why not rejoice when someone rejoices? Maybe I am missing a word here that I should remember, but when something good happens to someone else, shouldn't we be happy with them? Is "empathy" the right word for that, or does empathy mean to understand how someone feels when they are down or sad?


I have witnessed several times the last few weeks when someone has experienced something good, good in their own eyes. A blessing has happened in their lives, a goal reached, or a milestone approached. But there are some people who just can't rejoice with them. Instead, they secretly question or show a great lack of caring for the person. I don't understand this. Why not be happy for them?

I remember my dad telling of "a certain man lived in town" (Dad always taught in parables.) This man was able to purchase a new vehicle but most of his friends taunted him, ridiculed his choice of models, teased his ability to pay for it, etc. Dad learned a lesson at that time to just tell the man that he admired his ability to get this new vehicle. He rejoiced with him, let him talk about his new purchase. It didn't take anything away from Dad's life, but made the man happy for a few minutes. The man also left with more respect for Dad because he showed compassion to him.

In the scripture story about Joseph and his brothers, remember that Joseph had all the reasons in the world to feel bitter toward his brothers. They sold him away! They hated him! They lied about him! They wanted him gone. But when Joseph saw their condition, and knew he could help them, he showed compassion. He didn't wait for them to say they were sorry, and to beg his forgiveness. Joseph did what he knew he should do. He knew that God had placed him in a position to help his brothers. And he did what needed to be done.

I don't believe the Lord expects us to give of our stored food and all of our worldly gains in order to show compassion. But a simple kind word, an acknowledgment of a blessing, an invitation to associate with us goes a long way to showing compassion to others. Joseph did this by inviting his brothers to live near him, and he would nourish them. He didn't banish them to outer darkness. He didn't say "Only my father can come with me because he didn't sale me away." He looked at compassion on the suffering of his brothers and knew he was responsible for showing kindness to them.

If we are to liken the scriptures unto ourselves, should we show compassion for others by joining in with their joy? And letting them know we feel their happiness? Or should we ridicule others and cause them to feel ashamed because of our own high stature? Or should we look at those who may be caused us pain and invite them into our celebrations anyway, because that is what we should do? Or should we look at their situation and say "It is because of what they did?"

I having been thinking a lot about the trait of Compassion lately. I also found this to think about:

Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone.”

I don't know about you, but I need less stress in my life. However, I know that some people will think that by showing compassion and forgiveness more stress is caused in their lives. But the Lord has promised us peace when we are kind to others.

But there are other benefits as well, and these are emotional and spiritual. The main benefit is that it helps you to be more happy, and brings others around you to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. It is therefore of utmost importance that we cultivate compassion in our lives and practice compassion every day.

This article is great for teaching us how to develop compassion. It is a skill that needs to be practiced. Perhaps you might want to read it as well. Here is another article that I have been reading. Just some food for thought. But good food.

The best examples of compassion come from our Savior, Jesus Christ. The scriptures are filled with stories of the compassion He has for others. If we truly wish to become more Christlike in our actions, we might want to work on showing compassion to others. I know that is something I am going to be studying and working on this summer. I will be looking up scriptures that teach compassion and writing them in my scripture journal. That is one of my study goals.

What are your study plans?

This was our opening song in Sacrament meeting today, as well as in Relief Society.  I guess I needed to hear it.  I hope it brings comfort to others as well.

Hymn #123  Oh, May My Soul Commune with Thee
Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace;
From worldly care and pain of fear,
Please bring me sweet release.

Oh, bless me when I worship thee
To keep my heart in tune,
That I may hear thy still, small voice,
And, Lord, with thee commune.

Enfold me in thy quiet hour
and gently guide my mind
To seek thy will, to know thy ways,
And thy sweet Spirit find.

Lord, grant me thy abiding love
And make my turmoil cease.
Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace.

Another Wonderful Sunday

It seems I live for Sundays these days.  They are a great way to recharge my battery for the next week.  This Sunday was no exception.

We woke up about the usual time, but didn't need to get to church until an hour later because of the Brigham City Temple dedication.  We had debated about going to the early (9:00 am) session, but decided that with our home situation this week it would probably be easier to get ready for the 12:00 session.  And that was a good choice because it gave us the chance to watch one of our favorite Sunday shows, besides The Spoken Word.

We enjoy watching MormonTimes, which comes on at 10:00 right after The Spoken Word.  It is hosted by Michelle King and focuses on things that are important to Mormons.  Today she featured an author and her book.  I wish I could remember the author and the title of the book, but I am sure you can find it on the MormonTimes facebook page.  The book is about making your temple experiences even better.  The author started out talking about how a child knows that when you get cut, you wash your cut and put healing ointment on it, then wrap it in a clean covering so it can heal.  She likened this to the temple.  We are all hurt/broke/cut because we are human.  We go to the temple to wash our cuts, we have ointment put on to help us heal, then we are wrapped in a clean covering as we are healed.  These ordinances (baptism, washing and anointings, covenant making) all prepare us for the healing of the atonement. This got me thinking of the process in a totally different way.

Then she talked about the Story of the Good Samaritan.  We walk through life going lower because of sin, like the man who "went down from Jerusalem to Jericho" where he feel among thieves.  We are mortal and fall among temptations.  The Samaritan came to him, just as Christ has come to us.  He washed the man's wounds, and poured oil on him, and placed him on his own donkey (carried him), took him to an inn and took care of him.  He paid the price for the keeping of the man (atonement) and said the when he returns he will repay the inn keeper for whatever else he spends as he helps the man.  Christ will give us our reward if we help the sick and lowly.  He has already paid the price, but will also give us a reward.  He will carry us to the place of healing.  He will pour oil on our wounds. And help us to be healed, blessing others for helping us.

That story really touched my heart and helps me see things in a newer, deeper way.  I am thankful for that lesson.  Follow the link above to hear the entire interview with the author.  She has so many insights and my words do not give it justice.  I am looking forward to reading the book myself.....(hint to my children :)

At the temple dedication  it was stated that the lessons we learn in the temple are much like the message of mortality:  the creation, the fall, and the atonement.  Brother Nelson said this is the 14th temple in Utah, and the 139th in the world.  It brought to my memory when I was in high school seminary and we were having a Seminary Bowl contest.  One of the questions was: How many temples are there in the world today?  Brother Law said the answer was 12, but I challenged him.  I said there were at least 14, not remembering if it was 14 or 15.  We looked it up, not an easy feat because of no internet back in those olden days.  It turned out I was right because Ogden and Provo had been dedicated and they were Number 14 and 15.  Brother Law's Seminary Bowl answers were now out-dated.  Back in 1973-74 there were 15 temples in the world.  Today there are 14 in Utah only.  What a big change.  Still waiting and praying that someday our valley will have a temple, making it easier for all of us to get to a temple without a 2 hour drive over a mountain pass, which can be dangerous during the winter.

Another point that Brother Nelson spoke about was the temples prior to Christ's time on earth, and the temple during Christ's time.  During Christ's first cleansing of the temple, he called the temple "My Father's House."(John 2:16)   During the second cleansing of the temple he called the temple "My House" (Luke 19:46), and later He called it "Your House".(Luke 13:35)  It was then the people were told they would see him until later.

There were several other speakers during the dedication that raised points that I want to study in the next few weeks.  I hope I can get some time to research out their points.

In all, I learned a lot today and am looking forward to further scripture study.

This week has been very difficult for my husband and I as we have suffered while our bathroom is being gutted and repaired.  We have learned to appreciate our pioneer ancestors and the trials they went through without the facilities we so much take for granted.  We are thankful for the kind people who have offered their homes to us, the kind words of concern, and the offers of help.  We are just looking forward to having our home put back together again.

As for health, Garth is doing fine, but it is a slow process.  He is able to walk about 1-2 miles every day, but then it takes a long time to recover from the work-out.  He is helping me out in school by coming in and helping during the end of our reading hour and all of the math.  I really appreciate his help.

My legs are not getting any better. It is still unknown why the pain is so terrible.  I can stand on my leg for a long time, but stepping OFF the leg just brings me to tears.  I drag my leg along for several steps until the pain finally goes away.  My arm is going fine, but I can see that when the colder weather comes it will be stiffer and more painful to straighten out.  But in all, I guess I am doing fine.

We are both very thankful for all the blessings we do have, and pray for each of our family members to receive the blessings they desire at this time.  We don't always know the trials each of them is facing, but we pray for them all just the same.

I know that the Lord is in control and we receive the blessings He has in store for us if we are striving to do as He would have us do.  Our trial may be that we listen to His answers, to His directions, as He speaks to us.  That we accept that His will be done, and learn how to accept that in our own lives.  I know there are many blessings I would like but for some reasons right now I am being asked to wait for them.  It is difficult and trying sometimes,, but I am willing to wait because I know the Lord knows me and knows what is best for me.  Sometimes it is easy to doubt, but today, I know it is true.  I am writing this today so that in those days when I doubt I can read this and remember.

Nearing the End

You might not get what you want, if you think too much about the title of this post.  Nearing the End doesn't mean I am done, finished, dying, or ending any time soon.  It means I am almost to the end of the book about the Beatitudes.  I've been so busy with Garth's operations, getting ready for school, and so many personal things that I haven't had time to stop for a few days.  But I do want to write my thoughts on the last few chapters of the book Blessed Are Ye: Finding Your Unique Path to Christ by Chris Huston.

The last few verses of the sermon called The Beatitudes say:

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding lad; for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.   (Matthew 5:10-12)

Right now we are seeing so much of this behavior toward the church, church members, and the good works of the church organization.  It seems like it is coming from all corners of the earth.  With a 'Mormon" running for President of the United States, many people are happy to jump on the bandwagon that those Mormons are a strange group of people.  Some think we are blind followers who can't think for ourselves.  Then when some make different choices than they think a 'Good Mormon' would, they criticize them because they don't do what the church tells them they should do.  We just have to remember that we probably won't ever please all of the people any of the time.  (Boy, do I know that!)

Jesus knew everyone would feel persecution.  He didn't teach His disciples how to react if  they were persecuted, but when.  He reminded them that the natural man is an enemy of God, and don't enemies fight in the natural world?

Bro. Huston points out that the first seven beatitudes are short in length, but when He teaches about persecution he uses a lot more words.  Could it be because we would all feel the pain of persecution, either from our loved ones or from the world for the things we believe?  We have all experienced it, and it hurts, all the time.  The other beatitudes are about characteristics we can cultivate within our selves.  These verses tell us how to react when our believes are criticized by others.  That is a big difference.

When Lehi saw the dream of the Tree of Life he saw people pointing and mocking others who were partaking of the fruit.  He saw that many fell away and were lost because of being mocked.  Satan really knows how to get a bunch of people to follow his desires, doesn't he?  Get a few people to mock others and many will not be able to withstand the finger pointing.  Then Lehi goes on to say "we heeded them not" (1 Nephi 8:33)

I think we are seeing great examples of church members who have been placed in situations when they have needed to defend their own beliefs at the risk of being mocked, reviled, and persecuted.  We have see the church speak up when others have tried to ridicule the teachings and doctrine.  I see words spoken in kindness, with an effort to teach others, to show by example, while at the stand time standing strong to their convictions.  Mocking will always be there.  How we react will show what kind of a person we, individually, are.

I still stand by my favorite statement which is at the top of my blog:  Being mistreated is the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on how we view those who mistreat us.  -- The Peacegiver p. 33.  I think it is time for me to read this book again.

Pure in Heart

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

I think the goal for most of us is to see God again, to return to our Father in Heaven.  One sure way to be able to do so is to be pure in heart.  But what does that mean?

According to Chris Huston it means Purity in our intent, sincerity of our consistent effort.  Not of us can be perfect, or pure, during this life so all we can do is strive.  And if we are trying we will show the spirit of purity.

He goes on to explain something I have never thought before.  We are told the pure in heart will see God, but how can we see God in our mortal lives?  We need to look for the hand of the Lord in our daily lives.  Here is a quote from the book: "The only constant I've found is this: when I am the most spiritually in tune, and when my striving to live the commandments is able to override the lethargy of the natural man, I am most able to feel Christ's presence, and recognize his love and care reflected in the world that surrounds me."

That really got me thinking!  I need to live my life so I can see God in my daily activities, or the Hand of the Lord in the things around me.  I need to open my eyes to see, and do what I need to do to invite Him into my life.  That might mean serving others in ways I haven't noticed before.  It might be showing some kindness to others, making a phone to show I care, sending a message to someone, writing a letter - a real letter and mailing it, visiting with someone.  I need to ask the Lord what He would want me to do to show love and care to others.

At the same time, I need to see what others are doing for me.  Perhaps the Lord is inspiring others to help me in some way.  Maybe I am the way others can see the Hand of the Lord.

I also need to look around me and count my blessing and recognize they come from a Heavenly Father.  I need to acknowledge the good, beautiful things that are happening around me.  I need to realize the the Lord  share with us His wonderful creations like the sunrises and sunsets, the flowers, the children, Grandma's wrinkled hands, etc.   When our hearts are pure we see God all around us.   When our hearts are pure and we see God, we want to do what is right so we are pleasing to Him.  And by doing what is right we become pure in our hearts, able to see Him around us.  Isn't it amazing?

Mercy!

I remember hearing my sweet Grandma Olsen says, "Mercy!" usually when she was excited or surprised  about something.  "Oh, Mercy!"  I would love to hear that again.

Matthew 5:7 - Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy.  (3 Nephi 12:7)
I sure hope people show me a little bit of mercy.  More importantly, I hope the Lord gives me mercy when my time on Earth is over.  I know I will need it because I am very far from being perfect, even with all the repenting I do.  Somehow He will make justice and mercy work together, but how can I be sure I end up on the right side of the balance scale?  The scripture says what I have to do:  Be merciful.

In order for me to obtain mercy I must first be merciful myself.  So I got out my trusty Webster's New World Dictionary and looked up mercy, base word for merciful.  Here is what I found:  1.  a refraining from harming or punishing offenders, enemies, persons in one's power: kindness in excess of what may be expected of demanded by fairness; forbearance and compassion....a disposition to forgive, pity or be kind; kind or compassionate treatment; relief of suffering...

Well, that about sums it up.  Don't hurt others.  Not just physically, but I'm sure it also means emotionally and spiritually.  Don't punish others when it isn't needed. Be kinder than you should be.  Show compassion.  Strive to have a disposition to be kind and forgiving to everyone.  Give compassionate treatment to others.  Help relief their suffering, whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual, or any other way.

Doing all of these nice things requires us to not place requirements for our mercy towards others.  The author of the book I am reading says that when we judge others as unworthy of our mercy, we are placing ourselves in jeopardy for not receiving our own mercy.

How many times do I think "Well, they deserve it."?  "They must be held accountable for their own actions."  "They have to suffer the consequences."  "It's their problem, not mine."  All of these is true.  We even say in the Second Article of Faith "We believe that men will be punished for their own sins....."  Individual accountability is an important part of the gospel.  We all know it.  It keeps us on the right path.  But what if I use that principal to justify my own responsibility to show mercy?

The author reminds me about King Benjamin telling his people how they need to look at the needs of others. (Mosiah 4:17)  "Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just.  (18) But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent.  And except he repent...he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.  (19)For behold, are we not all beggars?  Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have? .....(22)And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which does not belong to you but to God."

By showing mercy to others I am not losing anything myself.  In fact, I am gaining mercy from Jesus Christ.  At the end of the Sermon on the Mount Jesus reminds us "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."  (Matthew 7:1-2)  I can't think 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth' because other people sin differently than I do.  They might do something that I would never do.  But I should still show mercy and compassion to them.  I need to give my love and let them know that my love is not contingent on my positive judgment of them.  I need to show that I am there to help them overcome any problems or situations they face.

At the same time, I have to protect myself from my own pain and suffering.  I'm not going to let someone take advantage of me with their attitude of "You must do this for me so that you are showing mercy and aren't judging me!"  I had a very fun roommate that I loved so much.  She was always saying, "I'm giving you an opportunity to serve me.  Please get me a glass of milk!"  We always laughed and worked hard to find opportunities for the other person to serve us.  I don't think the Lord expects us to show mercy to others at the expense of ourselves.  But isn't it nice when we can show actual mercy to others?

Remember the shooting of the Amish school children, and how the Amish people showed mercy to the shooters family?  Right now there is a book at Deseret Book about a man who showed mercy towards the person who caused the car accident that claimed the life of his wife and children.  We don't need these dramatic situations to happen in order to show mercy.  Sometimes we need to show mercy to people who are just suffering from their own situations, not because they have done anything to harm or hurt us.  All people need to know they are accepted.  When we don't show that acceptance we are not showing mercy.

If I want mercy I must show mercy.  That is the Gold Rule.  Do unto others as ye would have others do unto you.  I have to do it first.

Hunger and Thirst After Righteousness

Have you ever noticed the difference between the Beatitudes the Savior taught to his disciples in Jerusalem and the words He spoke to the Nephites?  His first sermon said "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6)  The second time He said, "blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost."  (3 Nephi 12:6)  It seems to be human nature that in times of trial, when we need support and help, we turn to the Savior.  It is sometimes difficult for me to keep up the energy needed to 'hunger and thirst' because of the doldrums of everyday life.  I say my prayers, read my scriptures, read other uplifting books (like this one on the Beatitudes), along with all the other "Sunday school" answers like fasting, going to church, etc.  I go through life just living each day, watching for times when I can help others.  But do I really 'hunger and thirst' except in times of great personal need?  Or should I be expected to?

Look at Enos, and Alma the younger.  They each had a great period in their lives when they needed to know about the gospel.  As Chris Hudson points out: "

" Enos described his quest for knowledge as a 'wrestle which I had before God" (Enos 1:2).             Notice that he wasn't wrestling with God, but before God.  The wrestle was within himself."

Enos then says that his soul hungered and he cried in prayer all day long.  And all night long.  (Enos 1:4)  He had listened to his father all his life, but it was only when his own soul hungered for a testimony that he actually did what he had to do to receive his own testimony and prayed in a way that his voice reached heaven.

Alma was also upset when he remembered his sins, but he also remembered his father's teaching, so he reached to Christ and, in his own words "my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" (Alma 36:18-20)  It took three entire days of torment for Alma to finally feel that he was relieved of his sins.

Neither story tells us what happens after Enos gains his testimony, or Alma was forgiven of his sins.  I am sure the everyday life crept into their life as well.  We don't hear of them proclaiming their righteousness throughout the rest of their lives, but they did continue to do good.  And when they were faced with more trials, which they were because they are mortals and that is what happens, they knew that their Heavenly Father loved them, and would fill them with feelings of acceptance and love when they needed it most.

We need to remember that we have to put in the effort to discover within ourselves the spiritual strength that only God knew we have.  When we put in that effort the Savior will give us the blessings He promised: We will be filled with the Holy Ghost.  We should be praying for this everyday, so we know on those days when everything seems just too much, we know that our Heavenly Father will give us His strength, and we will be filled with the Holy Ghost.

A Book Most Needed

Last spring I found a book in my house that I had never seen before.  I don't know where it came from.  I certainly didn't purchase it.  I figured someone must have left it, but I don't know when and who it came from.  None of my children will admit to leaving it, but none-the-less, it was here for me to read.  I picked it up and started reading.  What a joy it was. I have loved the things I have been taught.  The book is Blessed Are Ye: Finding Your Unique Path to Christ by Chris Huston.  It is filled with his thoughts concerning the Beatitude's, the first lessons taught by Christ while he was on the mountainside.  All of His teachings, His lessons and sermons, can be found in the simple verses in Matthew Chapter 5.  (I have searched for this book on-line but can't find it.  The publisher has gone out of business so I don't think it is available any more.)

After reading it I put it aside, but picked it up again to study a bit deeper.  With my broken arm I had lots of time to really study the book, along with the scriptures found in each chapter.  I decided to really get into the book and learn more about the lessons that I need to learn.  I think that is why it was just 'dropped off' at my home.

This week I have poured over verse 9:  "Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God."

What greater name can we have than to be a child of God?  That is one of the first songs we learn in Primary.  We teach our children that they are children of God.  Why do we have such a difficult time believing that adults are also children of God?  Why do we (speaking of myself) not act as though we believe we are children of God?  What do I need to change within myself so I am more deserving of that title?  It says right in this scripture: Those who are called children of God are the peacemakers.

President Hudson reminds me that I need to have a 'mighty change of heart' as described in Alma 5:14.  I need to work on myself to change my heart so I can be a peacemaker.  I admit that I fly off the cuff a lot when I need to be more peaceful.  I need to be aware of how I can change my attitude so I can see things in a more peaceful frame of mind.  I need that change of heart.  I am working to remember that, and doing things that have been very difficult so I can bring more peace into my life, and hopefully the life of others, especially my family.  I can't change their situations, but I can bring more peace to their minds if I change my heart.

He reminds me that the Golden Rule is just what I need to focus on.  I have been the recipient of kindness when I have been in despair.  I need to give that kindness to others when I see they need that care.  Have you ever felt lonely, sad, or discouraged and someone did something to show they cared?  Why is it so hard for me to remember that, to let go of my comfort zone, and give to others when I know how much it helped me?  Even if the person needing comfort wasn't the one to give me the encouragement, I need to "pass it on" and help when I see a need. I need to not judge and say they aren't deserving of my care, not leave them alone to take care of their sorrowful feelings themselves.  Although they may have gotten themselves into a situation, it doesn't hurt to show that I love them anyway.  I know that kind of love helped me.  We are told to have unconditional love, so I shouldn't put conditions on my love.

Robert S. Wood is quoted:  "...beware of those who stir us up to such anger that calm reflection and charitable feelings are suppressed." (Ensign, May 2006, 93).  If I can't show charitable feelings and calmness, I are not able to be a peacemaker, and thereby not able to be called a child of God.

Man! He says so many things that hit home to me, knocked me over the head, and hopefully, I am going to be able to be better.   Take this quote from Theodore M. Burton:  "Satan would rather have you contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness.  He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise."  (Ensign, November 1974, 54).

President Hudson pointed out that we must make peace, by 'gentleness and meekness, and love unfeigned".  If we feel there is contention, no peace, then we must make it by showing love unfeigned. I had to look up the word 'unfeigned' to see the true meaning.  It means 'real, not fake'.  I must love the people I need to make peace with, or those people who need some peace in their life, or those whom I feel contention with.   "The peace offered by the Savior calls for empathy rather than judgment, forgiveness instead of resentment, ....active assistance instead of benign neglect, and a life that reflects spiritual dignity instead of natural passions." (Blessed Are Ye, p. 87)   I take that to mean I need to feel their pain and want to help them instead of judging them, forgive them instead of feel even a little bit of anger towards them, help them instead of just saying 'Let me know what I can do', and do as Christ would do instead of acting as I normally do. It can be a simple phone call, a text message, a message written just to them on Facebook, a card in the mail, something.   That means I need to change a lot!

At the end of the chapter he reminds me that I have the birthright to be God's child, no matter what.  But in order to return to Him, and live with Him, I need to learn how to show this love to others.

I know I have a lot of work to do in this area.  It isn't something that will just happen because I know it should, it isn't a one time thing, it isn't just change one little thing in my life.  It will take a lifetime.  I hope people can be patient with me as I go on this journey of change.  I won't get it right the first time, the second time, fifth, tenth, or many.  I might get it right once in a while.  But I will be trying.  Please be kind as I work on it.

A New Book

I recently purchased a book from Deseret Book for my iPad.  They advertised a new book written by the author of The Peacemaker.  I loved that book, and his other book The Holy Secret so I decided to get this one as well, and I haven't been disappointed. 

 Falling To Heaven has given voice to some things I have been thinking of for some time.  He talks about look down in order to look up, similar to President Monson's talk about looking up to get answers.  However, Brother Ferrell stresses that we much humble ourselves and look down, in the manner of praying, in order to see where we should be heading.  The introduction talks about how people tell us we should be happy with ourselves, but in reality, Jesus taught us to love others and forget about our self.  When the world tells us to stop being so hard on ourselves, to look at our strengths, Jesus says that He will show us our weakness.  And then our job is to make that weakness our strength. 

He then goes on to explain about the Truth in Contradiction.  Like in walking, we move forward because we push backward.  A good basketball rebounder doesn't move toward the basket, but away from it. For a golfer to hit the ball hard it sometimes helps to swing easy; to hit the ball high, swing down.  The scriptures say "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall fine it."  In Lehi's dream of the Tree of Life, the one thing that one group of people did when they tasted of the fruit, having held to the rod of iron,....."they came forth and fell down and partook oft he fruit of the tree."  They didn't reach up to get the fruit, they fell down.  They became humble and fell to the ground. The Zoramites raised themselves up on the Rameumptom (what a word!), thinking they would be closer to Christ, they were better than the poor souls around them.  They even prayed that they were thankful for how good they were!  They felt so good about what they were doing, how righteous they were.  But the Lord made it clear that this was not a good thing. 
 
In the next chapters he talks about how being down isn't always good, either.....Herein lies the Great Paradox.  How do we find the balance between down and up?  We shouldn't look down on others and say we are up ourselves.  We can't look up at others and say we are down on ourselves.  We have to realize that we are focusing on the Savior, seeing our weaknesses, and working to make them our strengths, and realize that the Savior is the one who will help us in all ways. 

I love the titles of the chapters:  The False Doctrine of Up; The False Burden of Down;Unacceptable and Acceptable Sins (Do you mean some sin is acceptable? No, but some people think so, or in other words, think their actions and words are acceptable when in realize they are sins.)  Superiority by Association (Don't we all know people who think if they associate with certain people they will become superior themselves, or they can now associate with certain people because they have reached a certain place in their lives where they are 'as good as them', leaving the rest of their associates behind in the dust?)

All these types of 'upness' are discussed throughout the book, with the emphasis on learning to overcome this in our own selves, or learning how to recognize it in others and therefore learn not to get 'down' on others who we see suffering from this upness.  While at the same time not thinking we are better because we don't have the upness because if we think we don't and that others do, we make ourselves better, again.  The Great Paradox.

Right now I am reading about how we sometimes withhold forgiveness at our own peril.  This goes along with my mantra  "Eternity depends on how we view those who mistreat us."  If we say we forgive someone but refuse to have any association with them (thinking of family, loved ones, workers, friends, etc.) we our self need to repent.  As Bro. Ferrell says "We are unwilling to pay the purchase price of forgiveness and are using it instead as a crass currency of exchange."  "Any withholding of love is itself a sin.  So to have held it back on account of what another has done is itself an act for which we must repent.  .......when I as the harmed party respond to this request by giving up my resentment and my grudge, what I am doing is repenting--repenting of my failing to love.  Forgiveness is simply the word we use to describe this kind of repentance....This is the most crucial type of repentance of all.   "  He talks about how the Lord's example of prayer, known as the Lord's Prayer, has only one item that has a condition...""Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."  And right after Christ closed his prayer he taught "your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

 If we withhold our love, our association, our friendship, or our family ties from others because of their sins, we have not truly forgiven.  We may say we have forgiven them, and we probably have, but we need to forgive ourselves for withholding that love that Christ says we must show for everyone.

Why do I gravitate to books that force me to look at myself and see where I need to forgive?  I know it is because I hold some strong feelings toward others and need to let them go so I can become a better person.  My book is striped with highlighted comments, which is wonderful because then I can go back and read what I have been thinking about.  I love the interactive scriptures as well because I can then mark in my scriptures the verses that are brought to life. 

I am anxious to read Bro. Bednar's book "Increase in Learning".  I am so thankful that the church leaders feel the need to write books to help us.  Reading their words and looking up the scriptures they use to bring out their points, helps me in my scripture study.  I love reading the scriptures, but reading them in context with the words of the apostles and other people who teach through the scriptures helps me see ways I can apply the scriptures in my life.  I get so much 'pondering' done when I read books along with the scriptures, and then write about my thoughts. 

If you are looking for a good book, I suggest "Falling to Heaven: The Surprising Path to Happiness" by James Ferrell.

A New Year

If today is any indication of what the new year will be, it must be a great one!  What a wonderful way to start out the year for me.  I realize that not everyone is starting out the year with happiness and good things going on, but I sure did need the jump-start I got today.

First of all, we had a later church, so I didn't have to get up at my usual waking time to be to church by 9:00.  I actually slept until about 7:30, when just did not much until time to get ready for church.  We always leave for church about one-half hour before it is time for the meeting to start, at least that is our goal.  I am usually at the organ and I like to be playing before people start coming into the chapel.  And Garth has the calling to be an usher so he likes to be at his post early, so 10:30 was the time we wanted to go out the door.  At almost 10:00 I was in the process of getting the final touches on myself when I realized we should have been listening to The Spoken Word while we were getting ready.  I quickly turned on the TV and listened to the last song.  Then we just kept watching as the next show came on. It was a new show to us, since we have been in church by this time during the past year.  It is called Mormon Times and is hosted by Michelle King.  She had a guest author on who was speaking about her book.  I was sold on it as soon as she started to speak.  It is called "Live Life...and See Good Days".  She told that in her book she has 12 ways to see the good in every day, but today she focused on just three.  She was full of scriptures that helped her make her points.  Oh, to know the scriptures like she must!  (I ended up finding the book at Deseret Book and got an ebook copy for less than $10.00!  Can't wait to read it!)

Point #1 - Rise above what you are asked to do.  I didn't get the scripture for this reference, but she talked about how the Lord will help us overcome any obstacle we are met with.
Point #2 - Let your heart have great experiences - Sometimes we have to allow our hearts to feel and experience the good in things.
Point #3 - List what you love - Alma did so in his writing, even though he went through many trials.  In Alma 26:37 he is listing what good things he had, and how much joy he experienced, even through his trials. Ester spoke of her days of gladness.  She showed her Grandmother's Happiness journal, where she wrote the things that made her happy.  What a keepsake to have.

The show then went on to other things, but I went into the kitchen and looked through the latest Ensign.  I read the article on page 17 from Bro. Todd Christofferson, about how we need to keep close to the Lord every day so we can get the blessing He has for us.  He told how the people of Israel relied on the Lord giving them manna for their food each day.  It took them 40 years to learn that the Lord will keep his promise of manna, of food enough for their substance, to learn that they can rely on the Lord in all things.  He stressed that we also need to learn this lesson, that we can count on Him to give us the blessings we need when we learn to rely on Him and learn to go to Him with our needs.  This just really struck me and gave me lots to think about.

We saw a really nice video on the writing of the Book of Mormon in Sunday.  It was a seminary video, but helped me remember that the plates of gold are abridgements of larger plates, and who wrote each part of the Book of Mormon.  I liked it and hope we can see more.  It's been a long time since I have been to Seminary, and I know we didn't have fun videos like that!  More like film strips!

Then, the frosting on the cake, came at Relief Society.  I think it was meant just for me.  Our Relief Society president said she was inspired to have her sister-in-law speak to us.  I had noticed that most of the Law family was here visiting and was excited to get a hug from Janice Law, Dallin's wife.  They always sit in front of us, and they are always kind to us and acknowledge us every time they visit.  They know how special Bro. and Sister Law have been to our family.  So when I heard she was giving the lesson I knew it would be special.

Janice spoke about trials she has had to overcome in her life and how her trials have helped her turn to  Christ.  Her main thought was spoken many times:
 Whatever you focus on expands. 
Truer words can not be spoken! She stressed that we should be careful what we think about because it will consume our thoughts and grow out of porportion to reality.  You can find proof for what you look for.  If you feel you have been slighted or mistreated and that is your focus, you will find all the proof you need to convince yourself, and others, that you are right.  She told of a time when she felt down about things others had done, and she went to the Lord to find out what to do.  Her answer was to "bury your weapons' or the things you use to hurt others or to keep your pain going.  Just as the Book of Mormon people were told to bury their weapons so they wouldn't fight any more.  She quoted Ezekiel 36:26-27 where the Lord tells us that He will give us a new heart, a new spirit.  We need to pray to get that spirit and heart so that we don't feel the pain from others, and before we spread the pain on to others. 

She stressed that putting our focus on Christ will help us overcome any negative thoughts we might have, whether they are about ourselves, or our lot in life.  If we have difficult appointments we need to go to, if we focus on how the Lord can (and will) help us, we will see that the time will go much better.  If we focus on how difficult it is, we will see that it is difficult.  We need to put our focus on how He will help us, not how He tries us. 

She gave us several pointers on how we can focus on Christ.  #1 - Choose a street that you drive on every day, and decide that while you are on that street, or block, or area, that you will think about Christ.  #2 - Think about Christ as you fall asleep, thinking of stories or scriptures about Him, or ways you felt close to Him that day.  #3 - Tell yourself that you will think about Him at certain times of the day (doing dishes, or combing hair) and make it a habit.  Moroni 7:33 If you have faith in Him, He will give you power. 

She told how she was very hurt by something someone said, and how she wanted to call her mom, or her sister, or someone and tell how hurt she was.  Then she decided to kneel and pray about her hurt, realizing that if you focus on anger it will get bigger, but if you focus on Christ and think of the other person also at the feet of Christ asking for forgiveness, it makes it a little easier to calm those hurtful thoughts.  After Mormon had seen the terrible state of his people and the horrible things they were doing, he still wanted his son, Moroni, to remember how the Lord can lift you up.  Moroni 9:25.  If we are faithful to Christ, He will lift us upward.  Another scripture she used was D&C6:36-37.  Look unto Him in every thought, doubt not, fear not.

I really was impressed with the quote "Whatever you focus on Expands".  I see that in so many parts of my life, and those around me.  Some of those thoughts can consume us, while others help us to grow. No matter what situation we are in, we can look for good, and focus on good.  Especially focus on how the Lord can help us.  There is reason for everything, and He will help us find the lesson in all our situations.  We just need to focus on Him.

Experiences

Lately I have have been thinking about the experiences we have had over the past 32 years of our marriage. We have all had ups and down, which are just a part of life. Some days it seems like everything would be easier to just throw in the towel and made major decisions that would change our lives. Sometimes we are dealt a hand that is difficult to bear. But most of the time, we have realized the the blessings come after the trials. And that isn't always easy to see while the trials are there. You just have to keep going.
There have been many times when we wondered if our prayers are being heard at all, when we felt that something wasn't right. You know, those times when you aren't getting what you want or feel you want or deserve at the time. We have looked at those times and wondered just what we needed to do to "deserve" or be blessed with our desires. Our desires were righteous desires, and we just didn't understand what was keeping us from getting some kind of answer. Any answer at all. It was at times like that we would have a "husband/wife" council and look at our lives. We would find one area where we would put more effort into living the gospel better. I remember one time during our early marriage we knew we could be better at paying our tithing. We really worked that on and have been faithful tithe payers since then. We have noticed many blessings coming from that commitment. Another time it was reading the scriptures so we started getting the kids up earlier and read the scriptures every morning. It helped to make the days go better, not perfect but better. And I think our children had better teenage years because of it.
The past week I have needed to take a look at myself again, and see what I can do to make some major changes or adjustments in my life. Since Garth and I aren't home in the mornings together (he leaves for work at 4:00 am) I need to read my scriptures better by myself.
I have the set of books "Your Study of The Book of Mormon Made Easier" by David J. Ridges, which is very good at explaining word by word what each scripture means. I don't have any problem with comprehending what the verses mean, but I enjoy the added details that are included.
I was reading in Alma 8-9, the story where Alma meets Amulek, which is a well-known man in his community. Alma was told to go back to the city that had treated him so badly, and he was told to "Rejoice". He had been rejected, spit upon, and thrown out of the city, and the angel told him to Rejoice! The angel's message was that no matter what circumstances or people do to you in a negative way, what really counts is how you stand with God. Alma had been faithful, so he had reason to rejoice.
The verse that always stands out as Alma and Amulek teach is Alma 9:13. "Behold, do ye not remember the words which he spake unto Lehi, saying that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper in the land? And again it is said that: Inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord." How many times do we feel that our answers aren't coming? That is when we need to re-evaluate our lives and see what we can do to live a bit better. Even if we think our lives are in tune with the gospel teachings, there is usually somewhere we can improve. Pray more often by yourself, family or couple prayer. Pay tithing. A true fast. Home and visiting teaching. Scripture reading. Helping someone else. Making it a point to do it and report back to the Lord in prayer helps us see what we are doing to improve ourselves. It is our own evaluation so we might be like Alma and be told that we have reason to rejoice even with all the negative things that are happening around us, or the prayers we feel aren't being answered.
My challenge to you is to find one thing, one area, where you can put forth a little more effort, not to perfection but just a little bit more. Work on that one thing for as long as you need, informing the Lord what you are doing and why you are doing it. Look for the blessings that come as you work on this one little thing. It will soon bring big blessings in your life.