This chapter opened my eyes to things I have been wrong in thinking. What I read here totally changed my life. I have so much underlined in my book that it is difficult to decide what to discuss here.
Ricky starts out saying that he doesn't feel the Lord is helping him out with his burdens. How often have I felt the same thing? I have so much to worry about, so much I need help to endure? Where do I begin? Grandpa helps him see that if he doesn't see the Lord helping him, he isn't looking in the right place because the Lord is there. OK..hit me between the eyes! Am I the same way? If I don't see the Lord, where am I looking? That needs to be my question. I guess I need to work on that!
Grandpa goes on to say, "Although the Lord stands before us offering the help we need, there is a condition we must meet in order to see and receive of his atonement offering." When Ricky asks what that condition is Grandpa says he has to find out himself. Through his deep thinking and contemplating, Ricky discovers that Abigail took on herself the sins of Nabal. In that act she resembled the Savior. Grandpa says he is right, but there is more to it than just that. The second thing she did was the key to understanding. "It will illuminate what it means to have taken another's sins on one's own head." As he keeps recounting what happens, Ricky realizes that Abigail asked David to forgive her own trespasses. She didn't ask him to forgive Nabal's trespasses, but her trespasses, and she had done nothing wrong.
And so it is with the Savior. "Christ did the same--that having taken upon himself the sins of those who have wronged us, Christ now comes to us and asks us to forgive him the trespasses." This doesn't strike Ricky as being right. Why should Christ ask us to forgive him? He didn't do anything wrong. He doesn't need our forgiveness. Grandpa says, "That one who didn't need forgiveness nevertheless asked for it--illuminates something very important about forgiveness. It illustrates who forgiveness is for."....."Abigail asked for forgiveness not because she needed to be forgiven but because Davd needed to forgive."
"Abigail's message was that forgiveness was for the one who was forgiving, not the one who was being forgiven. David needed to forgive so that, in the words of Abigail, 'he would continue to be found without evil, so that the Lord could make him a sure house.'" Abigail took on the sins, was willing to pay the price, so David would not sin. If he forgave her, he would be free from the effects of holding grudges.
"The Lord, by taking the sins of our Nabals upon his head, extends us the same mercy. 'Upon me let this iniquity be,' he pleases. "let me deal with it if there is any dealing to be done. But you, my dear son or dear daughter, let it go. Let me take it, as I alreay have done. Forgive.'"
We know that the Lord isn't actually asking us to forgive him, but the atonement is like that is what he is asking. "Inas much as you have done it (or not done it) unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me."
This is what struck me so hard: "When we withhold forgiveness from others, we are in effect saying that the atonement alone was insufficient to pay for this sin. We are holding out for more. We are finding fault with the Lord's offering. We are in essence demanding that the Lord repent of an insufficient atonement. So when we fail to forgive another, it is as if we are failing to forgive the Lord--who, as you already rightly said, needs no forgiveness." (p. 66)
"You must repent of your own sin of failing to forgive." "The Lord has already forged forgiveness for her. What more could your forgiveness add?" "The atonement applies as much to (others) as it does to you, my son. I have claimed (their) sins and taken them upon me. Let it go." "You should consider how your failure to forgive is in effect a withholding from the Lord--he who has claimed and atoned for the sins and weaknesses in (others) that you insist on carrying with grudge." So what if the other person doesn't forgive you.....it doesn't matter. Not forgiving them is not really an option if we want to be free from sin. Although we can't be completely sinless in this life, we can at least work toward it.
Christ will show us what pain others are feeling. He wants us to see others as he sees and loves them. "He begs you not merely to ungird your sword but to ungird your heart. If you do, the miracle of his atonement will flow freely, and you, like David, will put down war and take up bread and drink and sheep and figs."
Here are some key points to remember:
1. The Lord has taken the sins of others on his own head.
2. He has atoned for those sins. Our failure to forgive is, therefore, in essence a witholding from the Lord.
3. If we grant this forgiveness in full, he atones in full for the pain and burdens that have come at others' hands.
4. He will bless us with his own love, his own appreciation, his own companionship, his own strength to endure.
If we have these, what more do we need?
I am far from perfect, and I have been "accused" (I say that lovingly) in my own family of too often saying, "Just forget what the other has done." Maybe I really knew that this is how true forgiveness can come. You can't feel good with yourself if you aren't willing to forgive. Withholding forgiveness causes us pain and suffering, heavy hearts, and saddness. We don't need that. The Lord has paid the price for the wrong they did to us. We need to forgive. For our own sakes. This is so important, but so hard.
I have been so blessed that some members of my family have learned to love this message, this book, as much as I. I feel our family relationships have improved so much. There are still others I pray will be able to see the importance of forgiving. It is not just for us, but for others as well. And in forgiving, we are so blessed. Everyone needs blessings. We shouldn't deny ourselves this freedom from the sin of not forgiving.
I am so thankful the Lord has blessed me with some amazing insights into the atonement. I have so much more to learn, but I feel I am beginning to see a little bit of what it really means.
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