What is "agency"? The traditional answer is "the right to choose" but at the very beginning of this chapter this definition is challenged and really got me thinking. So many people have their choices taken away from them. As I read this I was thinking of someone like Elizabeth Smart. She was taken away from her family, chained up, all her choices taken from her. Did she lose her agency? We are told our free agency will never be taken away but in so many cases we don't have choices. So what is the Lord's definition of agency?
Grandpa in this story helps us see that "Agency, as used in the scriptures, is the capacity to choose who we will follow - The Lord of Light or the Lord of Darkness. That is the choice that was at stake in the premortal realm. And it is a choice we retain here." He goes on to explain "....we can exercise our agency in such a way that we end up losing it as well. Part of having agency is having the agency to give it away...by giving Satan such iron hold upon our hearts that nothing but the merits of the Son of God can break us free."
Ricky and Grandpa go on to explore how our own actions chain us in such a way that we give up our agency and turn toward Satan. We sometimes "....feel so committed to the justice of (our) own course that (we) are refusing to turn until too late..." Do we sometimes think that our way is the right way and that we can't change our feelings, even when we know that Christ would probably think we should do or think something else, that we are no longer sure any change is possible? "If that isn't proof of the loss of agency and the chains of sin, what is?" "You feel that your feelings and thoughts are thrust upon you ......Satan has told of your heart, my boy, and he desires to destroy you" Is this like "......you did this.....and so I am upset.......and now I am justified in feeling this...or thinking this.....and it is all your fault"? When others make me do it, are we giving up our agency to them? Do we try to protect ourselves from the harm we suppose others are sending our way, and in that process say or do something that leads us away from Christ?
Adam yielded to temptation and therefore became subject to Satan's will. "Satan leads captive at his will those who 'do not hearken unto the Lord's voice." By choosing to do or say something contrary to Christ's example, we are listening to temptation from Satan and handing our agency over to him.
Ricky then asks Grandfather to explain how that can happen. How can a single act subject us to Satan. "If that were the case, we'd all be subject to his will." And Grandfather explains that is just the point. We are all subject to his will. Do we always do what we know we should? Do we love, or forgive, or pray like we know we should?....Even in the face of knowledge, we choose away from the Lord. We find ourselves falling away from the diligent living of his commandments, and from the desire to fully live them. 'We receive our wages of whom we list to obey.'"
I have spent the night thinking of what I want to do to 'get even' with others. Is it because I want them to feel hurt and sad like I am feeling? Is that what Christ would have me do? Just because I feel justified and that I have a right to be hurt, should I pass that along? I think that Christ would sit me down and tell me to just let it go, don't make it worse by making more demands that others do things my way. Don't force others to do things my way because I would then be following in Satan's desire. Of course, that would only apply to our interpersonal relationships with other adults. There are times when parents raising children must set boundaries or rules or curfews for their children......"No, you can't climb on the table." Things like that. But as adults with all the abilities and rights to choose our own thoughts and actions, and the accountability to do the right things, do we sometimes put "rules" out for others when we should really put them on ourselves?
When I require others to submit to my will, aren't I giving away my own agency? Perhaps an example like this: "You must take off your shoes before you come into my house." Perfectly within your right to request...It is your house and you can set the boundaries or requirements. But the real issue comes when someone doesn't take off their shoes in your house. How do you react? Do you say "They are terrible and won't follow my requests or rules". Do you shun the disobedient person. Or do you just put your arm around them and welcome them anyway? What would Christ have us do? If others don't follow our own preset ideas, how do we react? Perhaps this is the key to our agency. Even though I set my own rules of the game, am I quietly and without thinking, letting Satan bind me with his chains. After all, they are my rules so I can do what I want, can't I? If you break my rules, too bad, that was your choice and you can live with the consequences of your choice. You chose to break my rules so live with it. Is this giving Satan our agency?
Something for me to think about. Of course, then my consequences would depend on me. If I truly love someone and I know what their rules are, I will try to do as they ask as long as it doesn't go against my personal beliefs. I will take off my shoes when I know it is important to you because I care about your feelings and you are important to me. I will show that love and respect because my relationship with you is much more important than proving I can do as I please and walk around with my shoes on. I would much rather show you I love, care, and respect you. I think that is what Christ would like me to do.
And then the consequences are back on me for my choices. That is where it should be. I can't control others, only myself. I need to let go of my desire to control others. I can only control myself. I must keep my agency by allowing others their agency. Then I work to show Christ that I am choosing his way. I don't want to be bound to Satan by binding others.
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