Another Day, Another Way

As I get ready for the school year to begin, I again see that people do things so differently. Who is to say which way is best? Isn't it just that we choose what works for us? I constantly hear people telling me, "You spend too much time at school" or other similar comments. Isn't it my own business how I want to spend my time? I know that it takes me longer to get things done. I allow myself to get distracted by little things. I can't file away papers without looking through each one. I can't help but stop and read everything. I jump from one task to another all the time, sometimes not really accomplishing what I set out to do. I know this is how I am, and I accommodate for it. I'm not one who can just jump in and get it done quickly. At most things, anyway. That is just who I am.

So it made me think about a post I read from a blogger who I don't know at all, but I read her blog daily. She is from Smithfield and has a wonderful, uplifting blog. She accomplishes so much during the day that I get tired just reading what she has done and still wants to do. She is amazing. I used to think I would like to meet her in person, but now I think not. (Really, I would!) There really can't be anyone that organized. She is always seeing the bright side of everything. And then I realized that perhaps that is just what she is trying to see, looking for good and not dwelling on the dark side of everything. I need to be more like that. But she really is human. Sometimes I can read the discouragement in some of her posts, her desires for her children, the trials she mentions but doesn't go into details for the world to see. She has her ups and downs, but chooses to look up. Anyway, one post she had from last month expressed my same feelings about whose way is right and whose is wrong. I will attempt to tell it here, then you can check it out yourself. Beware, though, she might hook you, too!

Sophia has a tendency to go to extremes in everything she does. That is, overboard for my standards, but that is the way she is. She is a perfectionist and over-achiever and it works for her. I wish I could be more like that. I don't mean it in a negative way, just trying to explain her so I can understand. She is truly wonderful! She loves to produce parties and enjoys the planning down to the last detail. Her table settings are beautiful (pictures on blog) and her menus are out-of-this-world. She goes so far as to set the table the night before a big dinner party so she can see what needs to be added. She leaves no detail to the last minute.

In July she was part of the planning for her ward's swimming party. They combine activities with a neighboring ward, taking turns hosting the party and being in charge of the details. This year was not her wards turn to be host, so her duty was to help the other planner with whatever needed to be done. She did the advertising for her ward, assigned out the food for their share, and needed to help with the set-up and clean-up. She had a difficult time stepping back and allowing the other person to do their thing. She said she had nightmares for three days worrying that everyone would be waiting for her to arrive with everything. So on the day of the activity she was all prepared to be there bright and early to make sure everything was in order. As she said, "I felt helpless and out of control."

Things were not done as she would have done them. But she learned that it really didn't matter. There was only one butter knife and two steak knives to cut the sub-sandwiches for 350 people. (She would have had them already cut.) No one noticed there were no table coverings or center pieces or welcome banners. No one was there bright and early to get things set-up. The lady from the other ward who was in charge was just very laid back about everything. The problems that came up in the end, she laughed about, solved the problems and went on. It wasn't all strict, prepared ahead of time, and fancy pants. In the end, Sophia realized that the final results and object of the activity was the same: everyone had a good time, enjoyed good food, visited with friends and new people. She said that the next day people probably didn't remember what the tables looked like, or what the menu was, but they will remember that they had a good time.

Yes, we may do things different, with different styles, methods, and points of importance, but if it works for us, why do we let the opinions of others bother us? And why do they think their way is the best way? It shouldn't matter to anyone if I spend time at school. And I shouldn't care if someone else doesn't. Do what works for you. Please don't condemn me if I don't do things that way you would do. Accept me for being me. I don't want to hear, "If I did.....I would do....." or "I think you should do........" Yes, I value your opinion and want suggestions many times, but as an "add-on" to my thoughts, not instead of my ideas. As I learned in a writing class many years ago, suggestions are like gifts, you should kindly take it, then you can decide if you want to act on it, put it on the shelf for later, or throw it away. But it is my decision what to do with it.

I suggest that you read Sophia for a few days if you want to be enlightened on looking on the bright side and seeing how much one person can accomplish in a day. She is an amazing person. The entry from above was posted on July 16, called Share Our Similarities, Celebrate Our Differences.

Just a suggestion.