Our life has just been filled with daily things. Since our fun weekend with our family we have gone through many different emotions and experiences. We didn't come home to Orangeville after the fun weekend in Salt Lake. After the time at This is The Place Park, we spent another night in Salt Lake, then headed to Logan to attend our grandchildren's Primary Program. Of course, it was great because they were wonderful. :) We stayed there for a few more days because Barrett was going in for surgery that you can read about here on his wife's blog. We are happy to say that the many prayers and people fasting have helped us see a miracle of health. As far as we know, things are going well for him.
We also had a great time with Barrett, Chantel, and the kids here for a weekend. We so appreciate the time they have spent with us, and so thankful for them for helping us in so many ways. We can't thank them enough. They are working with all our children to help us do some of the things we have not been able to do here in our home. We are humbled by the ways our kids are helping us, and we so appreciate it. We love you all and pray for all of you to be blessed with those blessing that are waiting for you.
Today, we went to stake conference, which seemed really strange because we just had stake conference last month. I'm sure there hasn't been another time when we have met as a stake twice within 2 months. The meetings this week were very good. Last night we listened to a therapist who works with people with addictions, specifically addiction to pornography. She didn't talk about how to over the addiction, but how to help our loved ones and how we can help others who might be suffering from any addition. Some of my notes say:
Kathy Kinghort:
*When people run from emotions, they run to something to replace the emotion. So if they are running from caring, they replace it with something else.
*We need to face our emotions, call them what they are, and work through them.
*We need to share feelings, especially those that are uncomfortable to talk about. If we have feelings 'against' a person, especially someone in our family, we must confront the feeling and talk it out with the person. And an email or facebook message isn't that way to do it. It just be a phone call or face-to-face talking. But it shouldn't be confrontational, either, but done in love because family is most important. It must be done in a loving way, with everyone looking for a solution and working together.
*Don't deny or put the blame on someone else.
*Do not be deceptive. Be honest. Figure out what emotion you are reacting to, name the emotion, and you can have power over it. She told a story about how she was traveling to Idaho to present at a group of people. She wanted to take the 'sporty' car but her husband said she would get a ticket. Se assured him she would drive carefully, but sure enough, she did. Her immediate thought was "I won't tell my husband." Then she immediately wondered where that deception came from. She decided it was pride. Her pride was hurt because he was right, she did get a ticket and was mad that he was right. She could have paid the fine without him even knowing it, but that would not have been honest. She called him up and told him right first thing, that she had gotten a ticket, she would pay it, and she didn't want to talk about it any more. There was no need to discuss it any more, she had faced it, knew it was wrong, told him, then it was time to drop it. It wouldn't do him any good to laugh at her, get angry at her, anything. It was over, she knew how he felt, he knew she was honest with him. That is the way relationships should be.
*If we are doing things we don't want our spouse to see, (gaming, playing, looking, spending time visiting with someone we shouldn't, etc) we need to be honest with ourself and do what we need to do right at that moment to stop it.
*How do we react to our emotions? What do the scriptures show us? All through the scriptures there are example of how people have reacted to the same emotions we feel today. Like others, we need to stop, and walk away from evil things. Like Nephi, we need to confront our loved ones and tell them what they know they should be doing. Learn to look to the scriptures to find our answers.
*When clients come to her, she explains that they cannot get over an addiction in a day, week, or month. But they can think, "What do I have to do to stop today?" Take each day as it comes, and stop for that day.
*Get on your knees, ask for help. Don't get on your feet and run away, drop to your knees and ask for help.
*Do not isolate yourself. Even adults, no matter what the circumstances. Adults think they can keep computers in a place where no noise from the family bothers them, but no matter what, the computer needs to be in the open where everyone can see.
*Start talking about feelings. Ask each other "How did you feel today?" What made you upset? What made you happy? Don't just ask about how school or work was. Get our children talking about feelings, and seeing how adults work through their feelings. Everyone has times they are sad, but what do they do about it? How can we help each other?
*She suggested looking at "salifeline" if we need more help
She said so many things that were good suggestions. I just couldn't get all of them down.
We then heard from Sis. Slack, an assistant matron from the Manti Temple. She spoke of blessings we can get from temple attendance.
*She suggested we read Elder Asay's comments in the 1997 Ensign, as well as Oct. 2010, page 75.
*We are promised our loved ones will be watched over when we attend the temple. I remember this from the time we had small children. That was a great comfort to us when we traveled to the temple.
*Families will be closer to each other. Another great promise.
*The veil will be thin.
President Slack - There should be a picture of the temple in every one's room.
*The atonement didn't just happen in the garden, but on the cross, and in the tomb.
He made us feel better about our travel to Manti. He said it is very difficult to get over that mountain. In fact, he and his wife would be traveling to Salina to get home to Mt. Pleasant because of the storm over the mountain. He admitted our travel is very difficult, but the Lord recognizes it is so.
President Sharp - I always love to listen to him. Although the spirit was very strong, as soon as he stood up to talk there wasn't a sound in the place. It was like the spirit doubled. All the members of our stake know he loves us so much and always has so much to tell us. His message was that we need to allow others to repent.
*We must have faith unto repentance, and love unto forgiveness.
*We must begin where we are, but we don't need to stay there.
*It is our duty to love unto forgiveness.
This morning we listened to a broadcast from Salt Lake, with Tad Callister conducting. Here are my notes:
David M. McConkie:
*Don't forget the priesthood - A father learns his duty in a quorum. As a priesthood holder, he needs to be in his quorum meeting, where he learns to be a father. Mothers must be in Relief Society or Primary where they learn to be mothers.
Garth and I remembered when he was in the Stake Sunday School Presidency and we had a General Authority here for conference. During the adult meeting on Saturday night, he spoke about the importance of all three church meetings, but really explained how important each one is. He actually got down on his knees to the left of the podium, leaned against that railing there, pointed to everyone and said "Sunday School is where you study the scriptures. Be there to learn. Priesthood and Relief Society is where you learn to be parents. Be there if you aren't teaching Primary." He said there was no excuse for not being there. He said it so pointed, even told bishops, counselors, clerks, presidencies, that there should be no counting of money, no presidency meetings, no interviews, nothing during Sunday time. Be where you are supposed to be.*The advisary attacks the home - He isn't at church, but in our homes. Don't let him win over our homes.
*Kids need parents who love and teach the gospel.
*Quorums should teach how to teach our children, how to be good parents, and good spouses.
*Don't assume that others know - teach the duties of parents.
*Live so you have the spirit of the Lord with you.
Jean Stevens - General Primary Presidency
*Find ways to make General Conference fun for kids.
*We need to get to higher ground by listening to those who are older and wiser.
*Do not give up if everyone in your family is not holding tight and getting to higher ground. Go and get them.
*She then quoted a scripture (I think it was Isiah 41: 10) the words to How Firm a Foundation...(I always think in songs.)
Tad Callister - Quorum of the Seventy
*Some homes are simply boarding homes - with no relationships
*The Lord can change your hearts toward each other.
*He strengthens marriages.
*Commit to make it work.*There is no other alternative - work together.
*Think of it as the "I" principal. How can "I" be better? Ask your spouse, How can I be better?
*Communicate with a contrite spirit.
*Blame doesn't change - patience, willingness helps.
*No good in winning an argument and losing a marriage.
*Make each other happy.
*Our spouse needs our time. Give it to them.
*Courtship after marriage. But it can happen in the home, not always away from home.
*A husband's willingness to help with household chores shows love.
He really stressed how a husband MUST help out. It is no more HER duty. The home belongs to both.
*Stay out of debt - unnecessary debt to get ahead.
*Speak in kind voices - strengthen the relationship
*Compliment each other.
*Make parenting a joint effort.
*Plan together - family home evenings, schedules for the week, etc.
*Pray together...pray together...pray together
*The Lord can work miracles in our marriages. He wants to be our partner. He wants our marriages to work and WILL help us.
Russell M Nelson - Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
*The Lord has need of each of us.
*Bring every one person back.
*Satan would like you to defile your body.
*We are raising our children in Satan's territory. We must teach our children to overcome it.
*Exercise your own agency. That is the conflict.
*Body and spirit - our choices determine our happiness.*Satan never sleeps. He works at us all the time.
*Consequences - we obey laws because we should. We will be held accountable for obeying God's laws.
*Secret chambers - shun pornography - it is as addictive as meth.
*We should stand for the right to declare our love of Christ.
*If we are on the Lord's side He will be on our side. He will help our children and our children's children. -----I'm going to hold him to this promise! By making sure I am doing what I need to do to show the Lord I am on his side. That is the clue...We have to show that we are on His side.
*We must work to show our worthiness.
As usual, we came away from conference with a stronger determination to do better, work together better, to show the Lord that we want to be worthy of the blessing and promises He was ready for us.
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