It Wasn't What I Thought It Would Be

Matthew 5:4  Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.  

When I started reading about this Beatitude I focused on the word 'mourn'.  Doesn't that mean when people are sad because someone close to them has died, passed away.  I know from experience that the spirit of Christ is very close at those times and I really have felt comforted.  I remember when my dad died and the different reactions I witnessed that day standing in his bedroom watching his wife and her daughter as they sobbed and howled, reminding me of the pictures I have seen on the news when people of other faiths have carried on in mourning.  I didn't feel that need; I felt comfort.  I was sad, I felt sorrow, but I was comforted.  It wasn't easy being in that situation.  But because I have a testimony of the plan of salvation and life after death, I was comforted. (In fact, I remember looking in the ceiling corners looking for the spirits I was sure were there in the room with us.)  I always thought that was the kind of 'mourning' this scripture was talking about.  But I now have a little bit more to think about.

Life is what it is - a mortal experience.  We aren't promised that if we do what is right we will not suffer.  We will all face sad times.  We will all mourn.  We will all have problems to overcome.  We will all have sad times.  We can't expect that by just living the gospel we will be free from the pains of a mortal world.  It will come, and we will be faced with many obstacles that cause us to mourn.  The gospel does not protect us from challenges because these challenges are part of the plan.  We have to learn to overcome them, in whatever form they take.  Living the gospel helps us to see through that pain and learn gospel principals in a way that we can someday return to our Father in Heaven.  There is no other way.  We have to suffer, learn, and act.

According to President Huston's book, those who don't turn to Christ will continue to suffer in some form, but if we turn to Him we will have "comfort, not bitterness, peace instead of pain; great love instead of profound emptiness."

He then goes on and reminds us of the Nephites when Christ visited them.  (3 Nephi 8).  The world had been destroyed.  What few people remained had lost everything that was important to them.  They were in the darkest of dark worlds, so dark that they couldn't see a lighted fire or their hand in front of their face.  They could hear crying, creaking of the earth.  I can't imagine the pain of the parents looking for their children, their own parents, the people they loved.  And the people left were the more righteous ones.  I'm sure that didn't take their pain away.  They hadn't done things as wrong as the other people,  but still the Lord said "will ye not now return unto me and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?" (3 Nephi 9:13).

Did they think, "Yeah, right.  We have been destroyed and you are telling me that I need to repent? Where is your compassion?  Don't you see I am hurting down here!"  But Christ knew there were lessons they needed to learn.

He had just finished teaching Peter this same lesson. He told Peter, his closest disciple, "I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not; and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren" (Luke 22:32)  Wasn't Peter already converted?  Apparently he also had a few lessons to learn, but he didn't think so.  He protested, "Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison and to death!". (Luke 22:33)  Christ knew that Peter was going to have problems in the near future and he needed to be reminded that he needed to be converted, or to study and learn.  Peter learned, and became even stronger.

Did the Nephites learn?  They did because "....the mourning, and the weeping, and the wailing of the people who were spared alive did cease; and their mourning was turned into joy, and their lamentations into the praise and thanksgiving unto the Lord Jesus Christ, their Redeemer" (3 Nephi 10:10).  His peace is there for me if I surrender my self, the person I am now to be the person He wants me to be.  I must give up my pride and learn how to allow Christ to help me. By suffering and learning to lean on Christ, I can find His comfort.

Christ wants us to lean on Him for comfort, not hand our pain to others, hoping they will take it away.  No one can.  I will still mourn after the meal are brought in and eaten, after the flowers have died and been thrown away, after the kind words have been said.  I will still hurt when it looks like others have gone on with life. I will get upset at the world, at my situation, at the other people who are causing me pain.  I can react in a way that causes others to hurt as I am hurting, but what good does that do me? Perhaps that is one of the lessons Christ wants me to learn....that I might be hurting others to take the pain from me, and that I should be asking for the pain to leave, not giving it away.

I will find comfort when I come until Him.  Like Peter, I will falter.  Like the Nephites I will continue to cry.  I will still feel pain and look for help in the mortal world.  I need His comfort.  One of His many names is "Comforter."