Seasons Come and Go

I used to really enjoy the holiday seasons, but not so much any more.  Oh, I love the sights of the holidays in November and December, and the reasons for the holidays.  I just don't like the emotions I feel leading up to them.  My emotions are not the same as they used to be.  I don't know if it is the situations, my medications (yes, the dreaded prednisone is still killing me but life without it is 'unbreathable.), or just the inability to cope.  I am determined that this year I will just enjoy what I am blessed enough to enjoy.  

I am sure some people have questioned my desire to have a family-centered Thanksgiving, asking why I am like to have a big family dinner, etc.  Let me explain. 

When I grew up we were really close to our Olsen cousins and we spent every Thanksgiving together.  For some reason the Wares just didn't get together very often.  Maybe it was a brother thing, with all the sister-in-laws with their own parents and families, but the Wares just didn't ever get together as a family.  I am thinking it is because our Grandmother wasn't there to keep the family together.  When I look at family groups, I see the ones who are a 'together' family are the ones with both grandparents still around.  It seems like once a grandparent passes away, the family kind of settles off in their own directions.  Kind of sad, but that is kind of the way it is.  Our Grandmother Ware passed away before most of her grandchildren were born.  We did have Aunt Maree as our 'grandmother' but the family didn't get together as cousins at all.

But the Olsen family was different.  We were always together.  Even after Grandpa Olsen passed away.  Grandma moved from Moore to Orangeville, where her three children lived.  We were always together.  The Olsen siblings only had each other and their spouses, so we were always together for family holidays.  The two sisters and one brother, along with their spouses and children, shared family time together.  

Thanksgiving dinner was rotated from one household to another, even after the Peacocks moved to Salt Lake.  It was a fun year when the weather allowed us to play outside while the adults prepared the big meal.  Aunt Lorene would bake rolls, Grandma baked her famous carrot pudding, and all the trimmings filled the table.  Dinner was filled with laughing, telling stories, eating, and visiting.  We always remarked that it took so long to fix the meal, then we ate it so quickly it was all over in a flash.  The adults shooed the kids out of the kitchen when it was clean up time, so we had more playing time.  It all created great memories.  

When I married into the Labrum family we learned to share our traditions, and took turns celebrating Thanksgiving with each family. My first Thanksgiving away from home was spent with the Labrum family where I observed the same type of family traditions as I had grown up with.  Lots of work preparing food, lots of cousins to play with, lots of talking, visiting, eating, and family fun.  

Within three years my mother had passed away and we had our first Thanksgiving without her.  It was a very difficult year.  We were still meeting with the Olsen family every-other year, but it seemed like we just didn't belong there without her.  Garth and I took our two little kids to Orangeville so Dad wouldn't be alone for Thanksgiving, but it just wasn't the same.  I remember going to Aunt Lorene and Uncle Royce's house, but I don't remember eating dinner there.  I do know that I was thinking it would be the end to Thanksgiving as I had remembered it.

We soon started our own Ware tradition of eating together as four sisters and our families.  We fixed up large tables in the living room of Dad's home, spilling out into the kitchen and hallway as our families grew.  We soon out-grew the house and moved outside to the wood shop.  It seems strange to others that we would actually eat a large meal like Thanksgiving in the wood shop, but it was very natural for us because that wood shop was a very important part of our dad's life.  Dad was so proud of his shop.  There was ample space for lots of tables and chairs.  Again, we had a time when family could get together for food, fun, visiting, and family.  But as usual, that too came to an end.

Now here we are.  I don't have a large enough house for my family to gather for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandchildren don't know the joy of spending time with cousins, playing while the adults get the dinner ready, listening to the men yelling at the football games while the women talk and visit in the kitchen while preparing food for the family.  Kids don't draw little place-cards and set the table with excitement.  

So I am sad that I can't share that part of my life with my grandchildren.  We did have dinner with Tammy at her apartment in Salt Lake a few years ago, and one year we had dinner with Nancy in her home in Lehi.  Those are two great memories of cooking and preparing food as the kids played.  We had a Thanksgiving dinner with Barrett's family in Salt Lake at the Little American hotel.  The food was wonderful and it was nice to just eat and visit without having to prepare and clean up.  But I do miss the noise of the kids playing, the turkey being cut, the football games, the cleaning up, and all the talking and visiting.  

I think my family has missed out on the visiting, the casual talking.  Spending that time together is when you learn about family, concerns, problems, joys, goals, what is happening in lives of children, how everyone is doing in school, just everyday things, the good things, the understanding, the family things.  I wish we could do that.  

So why do I like to have family together once in a while.  So we can be together.  Because I love each one of my family.  Because I want to see my grandchildren playing together.  Because I want to hold them all, on my lap, in my heart, and in my memories.  Because I want to see all my children in one place before one of is isn't here any more.  Because I want to hear the noise.  Because I want to hear my son and his father enjoy a football or basketball game together again, or a lacrosse game with Dallas :)    Because I want to hear all the girls working together as we prepare food for our families.  Because I want to hold on to that part of my heritage.  Just because.