This was our opening song in Sacrament meeting today, as well as in Relief Society.  I guess I needed to hear it.  I hope it brings comfort to others as well.

Hymn #123  Oh, May My Soul Commune with Thee
Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace;
From worldly care and pain of fear,
Please bring me sweet release.

Oh, bless me when I worship thee
To keep my heart in tune,
That I may hear thy still, small voice,
And, Lord, with thee commune.

Enfold me in thy quiet hour
and gently guide my mind
To seek thy will, to know thy ways,
And thy sweet Spirit find.

Lord, grant me thy abiding love
And make my turmoil cease.
Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace.

Starting Over Again

Just when I think that I am starting to feel better.....BANG....something else comes up.  It is all just so weird.  

Remember clear back in December?  It really wasn't that long ago, just a few short weeks.  Just over a month.  Yes, my memory does go back that far.  I remember it because the end of December was painful.  I had fallen...again.... I ached for days and days.  After Christmas I went to the local medical clinic and we started looking for reasons for my recent aches and pains.  It had been over a week since my fall and I was still having a hard time getting around.  Picking one place to start looking was difficult.  My back/side/underarms really hurt, so we started there. X-rays didn't show anything.  Took blood tests....Come back in a week when the blood tests are back.  .......... 

 I remember one early morning with the pain so unbearable that I was wondering if it was kidney stones.  Never having had that problem before, the pain in the back/sides/rib area where I was holding made me think of kidney....Could it be?  Tests said no.

A week later....Still hurting.  This time my legs/hips/whatever.  Blood tests show everything is ok. By now I had developed a strange clicking sound when I walked.  Couldn't pinpoint where it came from.  Hips?  Back?  No pain with the clicking, just a loud popping sound.  PA said x-rays of the hips should tell us something.  So, did it?  Only that I had previously broken my tail bones several times.  Yup, I remember each time very well.  First time when I was pregnant with my oldest and fell....Kerplunk down the outside steps to the Kohler's house during a snowstorm.  Bounced clear down the stairs.  Got up, went to the .... can't remember the families last name!....Steve was the father and our bishop in Cornish....gave piano lessons to their daughter.....went home in pain and misery.  Couldn't sit or stand for months without pain.  Dr. Ed said I would break it again when I gave birth.  Sure enough.....pain continued for many months.  But I digress...or 'bird-walk' as we call it in education.  Get back on Track!

Nothing from the x-rays.   You do have an enlarged heart so you absolutely need to exercise.  Good advice. I think I will through all my pain and suffering.  Also, go to the lymphedema specialist to see if you can get help with all that fluid in your legs.  That might help.  So I do.  All of the above. 

I pay the fee for Weight Watchers on-line.  Go to the school scales (a good set with the sliding thingies.....have worked on everyone else for years.....Weigh in at ????? pounds, which is what I already knew because I have been secretly weighing myself for many years.  Entered that weight into the Weight Watchers program and start logging in my eating.  If I have to eat as many 'point' as they say I would have to eat more than I usually do!  So I am just careful and don't eat the treats that everyone brings to school every day.  I swear our faculty room table is always full of good treats even though everyone is on a diet.  ALL THE TIME!  

We go to the lymphedema specialist and learn how to do the massages.  I can tell it helps because I can't go past a bathroom without a good visit.  We learn lots about the lymph system and how to help it work.  Did you know that lasix pills turn the lymph fluid to jelly?  They work well for a veneous problem, but not the lymph problems.  I guess I will not take any more.  (I haven't for quite a while because I didn't think they were doing any good.  guess I was right!)  

I go down to the physical therapist's office to exercise.  Have a good 'in' there, someone who helps to keep me motivated, besides my wonderful husband.  Scott encouraged me to do just a little bit more each day and to get into the habit.  That is hard because my days are so busy that I can't find time to go down.  But I do.  I walk, bike, row the arms thing, a bit of some arm pushes, and more walking.  For several weeks.  

I weigh each week and plug it into the weight watchers program.  Shows good weight loss.  Everything is working well.  Except on Wednesday morning when I step into the shower I notice my side is hurting.  Kind of the same place it was hurting back in December.  I go to school and everything seems fine.  I go home in the afternoon, change my clothes and we head to the gym to workout.  On the way my side starts to really hurt.  I complain about it to Garth.  It gets worse and worse as I just sit there!  Man, it is bad!

No way am I NOT going to walk today because I have a pain.  I don't want anyone to think I am a quitter. 

I know most people who know I am working to lose weight are really just waiting to see how long I can keep it up.  They are probably waiting to see me stop, to stop going to the gym, to stop watching my food in-take, to stop doing everything.  So I am determined to not show that. So I walk.  In pain.  And in tears.  

Thursday I get up to go to Provo to the lymphedema therapist again.  So much pain I can hardly move!  The pain is in the back/left-side/rib area, just like in December.  The ride up and back hurt.  I rested that night.  Got up on Friday still in pain but went to school.  And down to physical therapy.  But walking on the treadmill was torture!  I am determined to not stop because I WILL show people I will not stop.  Even in pain.  But I did cry.  I am so glad no one was there that late.  Everyone had gone except for Garth and I, so I was free to cry as I walked.  

Saturday morning......Horrible!  We decided to go to the ER because it was impossible to move without ex...can't spell that word excruicating pain (Hey, I teach third grade and that is not a third grade word.)  My advice:  Don't go to the ER on a Saturday.  We were there for a total of  hours and saw the doctor about 10 minutes total...in 2 minute visits.  When she first came in and asked what my problem was, I explained my horrible pain and showed her: left back/side/underarm pain.  She lifted my clothes to get a look and noticed two little tiny pimples.  She asked me how long I had those little things. I remember Nicky looking at them when we put the 'shocker' machine on a few weeks before.  (Which helped to get rid of the pain then.)  I told her they had been there for about 2 weeks. Diagnosis:  shingles.  That's it.  "Any burning and/or itching?"  Nope.  "It's shingles. We'll draw blood. I'll be back in a minute."  And she left.  I was not satisfied, to say the least.  I know the burning and pain from shingles and that wasn't what I was feeling.  

After two more hours of being told by the nurses that that doctor would be back in a few minutes, after the blood draw, I was getting more upset.  This is not what my pain is.  We finally told the nurses that we weren't happy and needed to talk with the doctor again.  Her next 2 minute visit with us she asked "Do you want a CT scan?"  I guess you don't need a degree to order one of those!  So I said yes.  I wanted to rule out anything that it could be before I agreed to have the shingles.  I told her I was sure the pain came from something else.  Maybe broken ribs?  

CT scan....another hour wait.  Doc comes in: "You have two broken ribs."  After more discussion about taking it easy, don't move much, don't sneeze or cough, more pain meds, as she turned to leave she turned back around and said, "But I still think you have shingles."  OK.  I'll give her that if she insists.  I wonder what the blood tests will show.  

So, now I have two broken ribs.  I am in pain.  Do I walk on the treadmill again?  I don't know.  I don't like crying when I am not in an emotional situation.  I don't want to look like a quitter.  I don't want people to see me crying because I am walking.  But I don't like having this terrible pain either.  

But I did lose 15 pounds in a month.  Most of it fluid.  But I can fit into a few pairs of pants I haven't worn yet this year.  So I guess things are looking all right.  And I learned last night:  it does hurt to sneeze when you have two broken ribs.  It hurts like heck!

Just Thinking About Things

Garth is recovering well from his knee replacement surgery last Monday.  I was so thankful that Nicky was able to come down to spend time with me during that day.  I was just having a difficult time thinking of sitting there in the hospital waiting and I was glad for her to talk with.  She was sure entertained by former sheriff LaMar Guymon's remark about the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday!  I won't repeat it here because it might not be looked at as 'politically correct', but I guess it was funny because Nicky and LaMar's wife were sure laughing.

Garth was able to come home a day earlier than planned because 1) he was doing so well, 2) he was giving the nurses a tough time as only he can kid around, and 3) he told the doctor he would sleep better at home than on that awful hospital bed.  It was really hurting his back.  So I when I went over to Price on Wednesday to visit, I picked him up at the door.  We laughed before surgery that I was just going to drop him off and then come and pick him up later, but that is just about what happened.  I left him on Monday night after he was recovered from the surgery and able to be up a bit.  I didn't go over on Tuesday because I had some piano students that afternoon until 6:00.  I don't like to drive in the dark, and it was cold and icy so I was worried about walking into the hospital from the parking lot, then back out to the car a few hours later.  It would have been about 7:00 before I even got there!  Plus, Garth didn't like the idea of me being out so late and he knows how difficult it is for me to drive in the dark, so he didn't want me to come over, either.  But I was planning on going on Wednesday because of no piano lessons.  When the doctor said he could go home, he called me and said to just meet him at the door, which I did.

He is doing well, except for a small slip today.  We had a spot of ice on the driveway right off the desk and he kind of slipped a bit on the way to the car.  He caught himself, but really pulled his leg and back.  We came home from church after Sacrament Meeting so he could get ice on his legs again.  We found that it was bleeding through the wrappings, so he called the home health nurse, who came over and checked it out.  The staples are still in ok, but there is a bit of oozing from a few of the lower ones.  We will have to watch them carefully.  He then remembered that he is on blood thinner, which is why it might have bleed a bit.  But I think we have it all under control now.  His physical therapy is doing well and he starts going down to the office tomorrow in the morning.

Garth is such a morning person!  He gets right up out of bed and gets dressed and going.  I get up early, but it takes me forever to get going.  I shower to wake me up, then must read or sew for a little while to get my brain working.  Then I can finally get dressed and going.  I wish I had his energy in the morning.

At any rate, he is doing well and I am glad he will soon be able to perhaps walk without as much pain.  He worries about me all the time and won't let me take care of him.  I don't know what I would do without him. He is such a great guy!  Love you, dear!

The New Year

It is now 9:00 pm the last night of my Christmas vacation.  What have I accomplished these two weeks I've been off?  Not much by some people's measuring.  By my own thinking, quite a lot.  I got a lot of cross-stitching done on the next Christmas stocking, so that is a big step.  Speaking of big steps........I didn't take one, or rather I missed one and fell kerplunk!  That is why I haven't really accomplished much these two weeks.  I fell so hard and bruised up my legs like never before.  It was not a pretty fall, and I had to actually use my cell phone to call and get help getting up.  So thankful for my phone in my pocket!  But pretty embarrassing to have to call for help.  But I was one hurting person.  Being that I cannot in any way kneel on my right legs, getting up off the ground was pretty impossible.  I am so thankful for the ladies at R Pizza Place for helping me up and getting me to my car.  They also called me during the evening to make sure I was alright.

I spent the next three days just moving from my recliner to the bathroom to the bedroom.  Garth was still down in Arizona until Sunday evening, so I was needing to get around by myself.  And it wasn't easy.  The cane was my biggest helper.  I did get up on Sunday morning and went to  church because of the choir program that morning.  I hobbled into the chapel after 1st Ward was over and I am so glad I did because I met Uncle Royce as he came out.  He stopped and gave me a kiss on my cheek.  So glad I have that memory because he passed away the next Sunday morning.

Garth and Nicky came home in time for Christmas Eve.  We had a slow moving Christmas morning, then we drove up to Salt Lake.  We spent some time with Tammy and her kids.  They were all so excited about Christmas.  Kids is what makes Christmas so fun.

We weren't able to meet up with Barrett and his family this year, so we just drove on home that afternoon.  Since then I have spent a day in the doctor's office trying to get answers as to why my legs don't work so well, besides taking that great fall.  And yesterday we drove to Spanish Fork so I could get a tooth pulled, along with a growth taken off my lip.  He sent it in for a biopsy, but I am sure it will be just a weird thing, since it has been on my lip since forever.  Now I have to get the dark spot on the top of my head checked out and I should be ready to go for another week or so.

I missed seeing our Logan and Arizona kids this holiday season. We saw Tyler and Grayson on Facetime and skype for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.  We talked with Morgan and Max on Christmas day.  Isaac and Eli weren't really up to talking quite yet.  Maybe next year.  It was Maxwell's birthday on the 29th so we were able to talk with him.  We sure do love those phone calls.

So tomorrow I have to go back to work.  It will be good to be back to a schedule again.  But I'm worried about being able to get around and using my legs.  And I am terrified of falling.  I will be finding ways to keep inside and keeping warm.

I do have one request:  I have someone looking at my blog from a service called 'Adelphia' based out of Middletown, Maryland.  This person is coming to my blog from Chelsie Young's blog, (she is my niece.)  I'm glad you are enjoying my blog and you are more then welcome to continue, but I am just wondering who you are.  Could you please just leave a comment or tell me how you became interested?  I asked Chelsie if she knew anyone in Maryland and she said she doesn't, so she is as surprised and puzzled as I am.  Thanks for the information about yourself!  I hope you continue to visit my blog.

Time off from School

One of the most non-productive weeks of school happens to be the days just prior to Christmas.  And all teachers know that a snow storm will bring excitement levels to an all-time high.  Couple those two events together and you have ..... this past week of school.  Although we were busy, we didn't learn anything new.  We did learn how to make Christmas wrapping out of sheets of fingerpaint paper.  It is just the right size for covering a printed book of Christmas poems written by third graders.  We did learn how to sing all the Christmas carols on the few CDs I had, which had the exact same 8 songs.  We did learn that the volume button on the old classroom TV does not go up high enough to overtake the noise of the students.  The Polar Express movie is not the favorite of third graders.  I learned that students are more immune to that one swear word on The Night They Saved Christmas because no one even snickered when they heard it.  I learned that the fun of playing games is not the most important to children; it is more important to win or ruin the fun of the games. That is difficult to understand. The students might not be learning lots of new school objectives, but we are all learning new things about viewing life these days.

A Week of Many Thoughts

This week seems to be filled with so many emotions, mostly very sad or touching feelings.  I won't elaborate on the events that took place in Connecticut last Friday, except to say that I was so saddened by the thought of a school/town/area losing so many young children.  I can't imagine what they are feeling. But in reality we can imagine because we can see it.  The media have made sure the people of Newtown are not far from our thoughts.

I was so touched by the words of Robbie Parker, the father of little Emilee Parker, who was a victim of the shooting.  As he spoke in front of his LDS wardhouse, his care and concern for the family of the shooter showed the world the compassion he has.  I am sure everyone there was shocked to hear him speak with such love for the family of the person who hurt his family, but I am sure his testimony of eternal life was the catalyst for his care.  I also hear a news interview given by the mother of Emilee.  She was saying that the shooter must have been in such a dark, dark place in his mind that she felt so sorry for him.  That is probably a very different point of view that the media wasn't prepared for.  I thought it was a compassionate thought.

Last night I was speaking with a person during our ward Christmas dinner.  This lady is a very nice, loving lady.  She told me she doesn't get emotional over things, that she doesn't turn to tears very often.  But the other day she was out for a walk and passed the school when the students were walking to their classrooms after recess.  She saw two small boys walking with their arms around each other, laughing and playfully pushing each other along, with their arms around each others shoulders.  She admitted she totally lost control of her emotions and broke down and cried.  To think of how much fun they were having together, so innocent and vulnerable.  So sweet and having such fun with their friends.  How sad to think what had happened to those other sweet children.

Yesterday was also the date that my father passed away three years ago.  It was snowing that day, and it snowed again yesterday.  I miss him and our talks.  I wish I could walk into the house and sit and visit with him again.  Enough.  I can't go there today.

The snow outside is beautiful, but makes me laugh.  A while ago it became apparent that Garth would be going to Arizona for a week to help Nancy out after her surgery.  With a beautiful fall, and a quiet, no-weather beginning of winter, we joked about no snow coming until he was gone.  Sure enough, he left on Sunday and on Tuesday it snowed all day.  This has put me as the recipient of some very nice acts of kindness.  Yesterday our custodian came up to my house and shoveled the snow off the sidewalks and around the car.  That was so thoughtful of him.  Then when at the ward Christmas party I was told the Young Men would be scraping my yard for me.  When I got home after choir practice there was a large pile of snow off the side where they pushed the snow from the driveway and they re-shoveled the sidewalks.  It was so nice of them to think of me while I am home alone.

I am missing Garth but doing fine.  I know I don't like being alone, but at the same time can't wait until the end of school so I can get home where I feel safe and comfortable.

A Thankful Weekend

We had a wonderful time during this past holiday weekend.  Although our children were scattered again, we were able to talk with each of them, and visit with most of them.  We missed Nancy's family being near enough to visit, but are happy they are experiencing wonderful weather, which makes it so much easier for  Tyler to move around.

We left town right after school was out at 11:30 on Wednesday.  Garth had a car all packed with everything we needed to help out with the  Thanksgiving dinner.  We drove up to Tammy's house to be there when the water heater repair man arrived.  She had to work and couldn't be there at that time, so she asked us if there was any way we could make it up by about 4:00.  It was a great reason for me to walk out of the classroom as the students boarded the bus.  The drive up was wonderful I guess.  I mean, I was able to sleep a lot of the way!

The kids were so excited for us to be there.  They had cleaned up the house and everything was nice and festive with their Christmas tree already up and glowing.  We, or rather Garth and the kids unloaded the car and we must hung out the rest of the afternoon and evening.  Tammy and Nicky arrived after they were off work, and we watched a Christmas movie on TV.  We then left Tammy's house to go to Nicky's where we stayed the night.  Nicky is so good to let us sleep in her bed when we are there.  I must say, I envy her for the comfortable bed!  We sleep better on her bed than we do on our bed at home.

Thursday morning we got up early, drove back to Tammy's to start cooking dinner.  The kids really wanted a Thanksgiving dinner at their own house so we jumped right in and cooked.  Everything turned out great....except for the things I was in charge of:  the rolls and the yams.  Some crazy person turned off the oven while trying to set the timer (couldn't have been me!) so the rolls didn't brown.  After finding out the problem the oven had to be turned on again, which didn't help in the baking.  We had doughy burnt rolls, which is quite a difficult feat achieve.  Then, while we were trying to dig the rolls out of the pans, Nicky noticed smoke coming out of the oven.  Oh, yeah, I had forgotten that the yams were put in to broil so the marshmallows would melt.  They didn't melt...they were turning to charcoal!  So much for my cooking skills!  The cranberry sauce was good, as well as the turkey, potatoes, gravy, and other side dishes.  The pies were delicious. We all ate our fill and then cleaned it all up.  It was fun to be together for the day.  Around 4:00 the kids went off with their father for the weekend, we headed by to Nicky's for the night and Tammy tried to get a few hours of sleep before heading back to work for the big night of shopping.

Friday morning Garth and I headed up to Logan to check in with Barrett.  We had been worried about him because we had received a text from Chantel that Barrett was in the hospital because of his medical condition called myasthenia gravis.  When we got there we found out he was going into the hospital each night for 5 nights to receive meds through IV.  Although he wasn't feeling well at all, he was up and moving around.  We played with the kids and tried to help out as much as we could.  It was kind of a lazy day with the kids playing with friends, so we spent lots of time with Isaac and Eli.  This was the first time we were able to meet Eli and it was pure joy.  He is really a sweet little baby.  And Isaac.......Isaac loves his grandma, even if I am the one who dropped him when I fell down the stairs :)

We played with Morgan and Max when they returned from the neighbors.  We had fun with Headbanz (I'm not sure that is how to spell it), Go Fish, and Uno.  Everyone went to sleep around 9:00 when Barrett headed off to the hospital for his hook-up.  Saturday morning Barrett took us all out to breakfast at IHOP, then we headed home.

A quick stop at Nicky's, then Wal-mart to see Tammy and pick up a few things we still needed for Christmas.  Then home.  Today is a resting day.  One of those days when you are too tired to rest, and don't want to do anything else.

We are thankful for our family and so many friends who are willing to help us at this time.  We certainly have angels watching over us and our children.

Stake Conference

We had a wonderful stake conference again.  I took lots of notes so I can remember the words that were said.  Sorry to say one of the talks I didn't take very many notes because I was busy listening.  That speaker was my brother-in-law, Kent.  He did a terrific job of making me think of things, so I was took busy listening and pondering to write.  Sorry Kent.  What notes I did take will help me remember my thoughts, which I'm not ready to share here, yet.  I will put them all in my personal journal.

Last night President Sharp showed us a Mormon Message that is also a book we have about a man who lost most of his family in a car accident because of a young driver.  He explains that he knew from the time he became aware of what had happened, he knew he had to forgive the driver.  It was a very moving video, not just about the loss the man experienced but forgiveness.  He stressed that if we don't forgive others for the things they have done to us, we are the ones who will miss out on blessings.  President Sharp spoke about how important it is that we forgive, and show it. We may think that we don't care, that we are free from the effects or pain of the things that hurt us, but if we don't let the person know, if we avoid them, if we don't let them know we are not holding any negative feelings about them, then sometime in the future we will realize that we are missing some blessings that would have come our way had we done as the Savior would have us do.  It is our responsibility to make sure our families are strengthened, that we aren't the link that is keeping families apart.  And "families" does not mean just spouses and children, but parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, grandchildren, etc.  When we are not working to strengthen families we are making Satan happy.   He talked about the need of repentance being as strong as the need of forgiveness, and that if we don't forgive we have greater need to repent than the person we did not forgive.  These notes are a blend of both of President  Sharp's talks, Saturday night and Sunday session.  They fit in very well together.

Mary Huntington also spoke on the same subject.  She told of a time when she was very offended by someone else and felt she had to call her parents and vent about it.  She was talking with her dad and he just said, "Mary, I'm sorry you are experiencing this, but you have to let it go or it will eat away at you for eternity."  She explained that he further said that if not in this life, but in the life to some she would have to learn that she could have made life better if she had let it go, that relationships are far more important than the anger, and that she was very wrong in not being understanding with the other person.

All the other talks were wonderful as well, but right now I have been pondering these three messages and seeing what I can do to strengthen myself.

I did have a scary experience when I nearly choked to death during the Sunday morning meeting.  I get these spasms when I can't swallow and I start to cough and can't get air, and I feel like I am ready to pass out before I start to breath again.  But that is another story.  I survived.

I am so thankful for the words I heard at conference. I hope I can keep the spirit I felt there and improve myself this week.

Seasons Come and Go

I used to really enjoy the holiday seasons, but not so much any more.  Oh, I love the sights of the holidays in November and December, and the reasons for the holidays.  I just don't like the emotions I feel leading up to them.  My emotions are not the same as they used to be.  I don't know if it is the situations, my medications (yes, the dreaded prednisone is still killing me but life without it is 'unbreathable.), or just the inability to cope.  I am determined that this year I will just enjoy what I am blessed enough to enjoy.  

I am sure some people have questioned my desire to have a family-centered Thanksgiving, asking why I am like to have a big family dinner, etc.  Let me explain. 

When I grew up we were really close to our Olsen cousins and we spent every Thanksgiving together.  For some reason the Wares just didn't get together very often.  Maybe it was a brother thing, with all the sister-in-laws with their own parents and families, but the Wares just didn't ever get together as a family.  I am thinking it is because our Grandmother wasn't there to keep the family together.  When I look at family groups, I see the ones who are a 'together' family are the ones with both grandparents still around.  It seems like once a grandparent passes away, the family kind of settles off in their own directions.  Kind of sad, but that is kind of the way it is.  Our Grandmother Ware passed away before most of her grandchildren were born.  We did have Aunt Maree as our 'grandmother' but the family didn't get together as cousins at all.

But the Olsen family was different.  We were always together.  Even after Grandpa Olsen passed away.  Grandma moved from Moore to Orangeville, where her three children lived.  We were always together.  The Olsen siblings only had each other and their spouses, so we were always together for family holidays.  The two sisters and one brother, along with their spouses and children, shared family time together.  

Thanksgiving dinner was rotated from one household to another, even after the Peacocks moved to Salt Lake.  It was a fun year when the weather allowed us to play outside while the adults prepared the big meal.  Aunt Lorene would bake rolls, Grandma baked her famous carrot pudding, and all the trimmings filled the table.  Dinner was filled with laughing, telling stories, eating, and visiting.  We always remarked that it took so long to fix the meal, then we ate it so quickly it was all over in a flash.  The adults shooed the kids out of the kitchen when it was clean up time, so we had more playing time.  It all created great memories.  

When I married into the Labrum family we learned to share our traditions, and took turns celebrating Thanksgiving with each family. My first Thanksgiving away from home was spent with the Labrum family where I observed the same type of family traditions as I had grown up with.  Lots of work preparing food, lots of cousins to play with, lots of talking, visiting, eating, and family fun.  

Within three years my mother had passed away and we had our first Thanksgiving without her.  It was a very difficult year.  We were still meeting with the Olsen family every-other year, but it seemed like we just didn't belong there without her.  Garth and I took our two little kids to Orangeville so Dad wouldn't be alone for Thanksgiving, but it just wasn't the same.  I remember going to Aunt Lorene and Uncle Royce's house, but I don't remember eating dinner there.  I do know that I was thinking it would be the end to Thanksgiving as I had remembered it.

We soon started our own Ware tradition of eating together as four sisters and our families.  We fixed up large tables in the living room of Dad's home, spilling out into the kitchen and hallway as our families grew.  We soon out-grew the house and moved outside to the wood shop.  It seems strange to others that we would actually eat a large meal like Thanksgiving in the wood shop, but it was very natural for us because that wood shop was a very important part of our dad's life.  Dad was so proud of his shop.  There was ample space for lots of tables and chairs.  Again, we had a time when family could get together for food, fun, visiting, and family.  But as usual, that too came to an end.

Now here we are.  I don't have a large enough house for my family to gather for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandchildren don't know the joy of spending time with cousins, playing while the adults get the dinner ready, listening to the men yelling at the football games while the women talk and visit in the kitchen while preparing food for the family.  Kids don't draw little place-cards and set the table with excitement.  

So I am sad that I can't share that part of my life with my grandchildren.  We did have dinner with Tammy at her apartment in Salt Lake a few years ago, and one year we had dinner with Nancy in her home in Lehi.  Those are two great memories of cooking and preparing food as the kids played.  We had a Thanksgiving dinner with Barrett's family in Salt Lake at the Little American hotel.  The food was wonderful and it was nice to just eat and visit without having to prepare and clean up.  But I do miss the noise of the kids playing, the turkey being cut, the football games, the cleaning up, and all the talking and visiting.  

I think my family has missed out on the visiting, the casual talking.  Spending that time together is when you learn about family, concerns, problems, joys, goals, what is happening in lives of children, how everyone is doing in school, just everyday things, the good things, the understanding, the family things.  I wish we could do that.  

So why do I like to have family together once in a while.  So we can be together.  Because I love each one of my family.  Because I want to see my grandchildren playing together.  Because I want to hold them all, on my lap, in my heart, and in my memories.  Because I want to see all my children in one place before one of is isn't here any more.  Because I want to hear the noise.  Because I want to hear my son and his father enjoy a football or basketball game together again, or a lacrosse game with Dallas :)    Because I want to hear all the girls working together as we prepare food for our families.  Because I want to hold on to that part of my heritage.  Just because.  

Finally!

Our bathroom is finally done....well, almost.  Now for the "Bathroom Story."

Our bathroom has been ugly for a long time, but I'm not one to complain much about the looks of things so we have just cleaned it the best we could and went from there.  Many years ago we had Garth's brother, Mike, living with us for a while.  He wanted to do something nice for us while here, and decided to replace our old bathroom floor with tile.  He had been doing tile setting in Vegas and was pretty good at it.  He picked out a tile and got it all layed.  Later, I realized we had beige tile in the tub and gray tile on the floor.  But it really didn't bother me.

Because I am so short it was very difficult for me to lean over the tub to clean it.  I had to hold on to the soap holder to balance myself.  One day, the soap holder just fell off the wall, leaving a big hole in the wall.  We tried to glue it back in, using gorilla glue, super glue, cement, everything we could find, but nothing worked.  I'm not sure what finally held it in, but there was gunk around the edges and looked really groddy, but it held up so we accepted it. But the tub area looked really bad, but didn't know what to do with it.

When Garth came home after back surgery he was getting into the tub to take a shower.  He held on to the handicapped rail, and, behold, the tiles it was attached to came right off the wall, and he was left holding the handrail and the tiles with a big gash in the wall.  Not good.

We were left with only one choice...get it repaired by a contractor.  We found a guy here in town who was willing to do the tile work.  He came in and looked it over and gave us a good deal on his work, along with suggestions for a better than before bathroom.

We got everything ready for the big repair.  Our biggest problem was, ... we only have the one bathroom.  So we knew we would be going to the trailer to the outhouse during the repair time.  It worked out alright, just took us a bit longer than we wanted, but it was worth it.  The bathroom is beautiful!  We are waiting for one of the shower doors to be replaced because it shattered when the contractor was trying to put it in.  Other than that, we are sure enjoying the room.

We gained about 10 inches behind the sink and toilet, which helped a lot.  It was all wasted space between walls so why not use it!  Now someone can be at the sink and another person actually walk into the room at the same time.  It is nice not having to step over the tub to get into the shower.  The tub has only been used by the grandchildren during the past 10 years or more, so it won't be missed.  The kids will just have to learn to shower.  Here are before, between, and after pictures.

 Notice the big "square" in the middle?  We had to tape a grocery sack to the wall so the water wouldn't get into the hole created by the missing tiles.  Pretty, don't you think?

 Garth did a great job building a cabinet over the toilet.  Still have the original mirror and sliding door thingy.

 Nice big towel rack!

 The tub completely gone, plus all the tile and the wall!  Ugly!

The floor looked horrible!.  Later the floor under the toilet was totally gone and replaced.

New tile everywhere.  I LOVE the trim.  It goes all along the wall, above the window, and along the wall with the towel rack.  It is beautiful.  The new cabinets are great!  Drawer for my stuff!

 The tile is also on the wall behind the towels.  Can you see it above the shower door?  Notice that one of the shower doors is missing, soon to be in.

Isn't that tile great!  You don't notice the extra space here, but believe me, it is wonderful!

Love the sink and room for a hand towel.  We also have an extra plug for all those electric things like blow dryers, curling irons, and razors all at the same time!

We really weren't planning on remodeling the bathroom, but it was a necessity.  I'm not sorry we did, just wish it had come at a better time financially.  But it will be worth it.  It is great!