Starting Over Again

Just when I think that I am starting to feel better.....BANG....something else comes up.  It is all just so weird.  

Remember clear back in December?  It really wasn't that long ago, just a few short weeks.  Just over a month.  Yes, my memory does go back that far.  I remember it because the end of December was painful.  I had fallen...again.... I ached for days and days.  After Christmas I went to the local medical clinic and we started looking for reasons for my recent aches and pains.  It had been over a week since my fall and I was still having a hard time getting around.  Picking one place to start looking was difficult.  My back/side/underarms really hurt, so we started there. X-rays didn't show anything.  Took blood tests....Come back in a week when the blood tests are back.  .......... 

 I remember one early morning with the pain so unbearable that I was wondering if it was kidney stones.  Never having had that problem before, the pain in the back/sides/rib area where I was holding made me think of kidney....Could it be?  Tests said no.

A week later....Still hurting.  This time my legs/hips/whatever.  Blood tests show everything is ok. By now I had developed a strange clicking sound when I walked.  Couldn't pinpoint where it came from.  Hips?  Back?  No pain with the clicking, just a loud popping sound.  PA said x-rays of the hips should tell us something.  So, did it?  Only that I had previously broken my tail bones several times.  Yup, I remember each time very well.  First time when I was pregnant with my oldest and fell....Kerplunk down the outside steps to the Kohler's house during a snowstorm.  Bounced clear down the stairs.  Got up, went to the .... can't remember the families last name!....Steve was the father and our bishop in Cornish....gave piano lessons to their daughter.....went home in pain and misery.  Couldn't sit or stand for months without pain.  Dr. Ed said I would break it again when I gave birth.  Sure enough.....pain continued for many months.  But I digress...or 'bird-walk' as we call it in education.  Get back on Track!

Nothing from the x-rays.   You do have an enlarged heart so you absolutely need to exercise.  Good advice. I think I will through all my pain and suffering.  Also, go to the lymphedema specialist to see if you can get help with all that fluid in your legs.  That might help.  So I do.  All of the above. 

I pay the fee for Weight Watchers on-line.  Go to the school scales (a good set with the sliding thingies.....have worked on everyone else for years.....Weigh in at ????? pounds, which is what I already knew because I have been secretly weighing myself for many years.  Entered that weight into the Weight Watchers program and start logging in my eating.  If I have to eat as many 'point' as they say I would have to eat more than I usually do!  So I am just careful and don't eat the treats that everyone brings to school every day.  I swear our faculty room table is always full of good treats even though everyone is on a diet.  ALL THE TIME!  

We go to the lymphedema specialist and learn how to do the massages.  I can tell it helps because I can't go past a bathroom without a good visit.  We learn lots about the lymph system and how to help it work.  Did you know that lasix pills turn the lymph fluid to jelly?  They work well for a veneous problem, but not the lymph problems.  I guess I will not take any more.  (I haven't for quite a while because I didn't think they were doing any good.  guess I was right!)  

I go down to the physical therapist's office to exercise.  Have a good 'in' there, someone who helps to keep me motivated, besides my wonderful husband.  Scott encouraged me to do just a little bit more each day and to get into the habit.  That is hard because my days are so busy that I can't find time to go down.  But I do.  I walk, bike, row the arms thing, a bit of some arm pushes, and more walking.  For several weeks.  

I weigh each week and plug it into the weight watchers program.  Shows good weight loss.  Everything is working well.  Except on Wednesday morning when I step into the shower I notice my side is hurting.  Kind of the same place it was hurting back in December.  I go to school and everything seems fine.  I go home in the afternoon, change my clothes and we head to the gym to workout.  On the way my side starts to really hurt.  I complain about it to Garth.  It gets worse and worse as I just sit there!  Man, it is bad!

No way am I NOT going to walk today because I have a pain.  I don't want anyone to think I am a quitter. 

I know most people who know I am working to lose weight are really just waiting to see how long I can keep it up.  They are probably waiting to see me stop, to stop going to the gym, to stop watching my food in-take, to stop doing everything.  So I am determined to not show that. So I walk.  In pain.  And in tears.  

Thursday I get up to go to Provo to the lymphedema therapist again.  So much pain I can hardly move!  The pain is in the back/left-side/rib area, just like in December.  The ride up and back hurt.  I rested that night.  Got up on Friday still in pain but went to school.  And down to physical therapy.  But walking on the treadmill was torture!  I am determined to not stop because I WILL show people I will not stop.  Even in pain.  But I did cry.  I am so glad no one was there that late.  Everyone had gone except for Garth and I, so I was free to cry as I walked.  

Saturday morning......Horrible!  We decided to go to the ER because it was impossible to move without ex...can't spell that word excruicating pain (Hey, I teach third grade and that is not a third grade word.)  My advice:  Don't go to the ER on a Saturday.  We were there for a total of  hours and saw the doctor about 10 minutes total...in 2 minute visits.  When she first came in and asked what my problem was, I explained my horrible pain and showed her: left back/side/underarm pain.  She lifted my clothes to get a look and noticed two little tiny pimples.  She asked me how long I had those little things. I remember Nicky looking at them when we put the 'shocker' machine on a few weeks before.  (Which helped to get rid of the pain then.)  I told her they had been there for about 2 weeks. Diagnosis:  shingles.  That's it.  "Any burning and/or itching?"  Nope.  "It's shingles. We'll draw blood. I'll be back in a minute."  And she left.  I was not satisfied, to say the least.  I know the burning and pain from shingles and that wasn't what I was feeling.  

After two more hours of being told by the nurses that that doctor would be back in a few minutes, after the blood draw, I was getting more upset.  This is not what my pain is.  We finally told the nurses that we weren't happy and needed to talk with the doctor again.  Her next 2 minute visit with us she asked "Do you want a CT scan?"  I guess you don't need a degree to order one of those!  So I said yes.  I wanted to rule out anything that it could be before I agreed to have the shingles.  I told her I was sure the pain came from something else.  Maybe broken ribs?  

CT scan....another hour wait.  Doc comes in: "You have two broken ribs."  After more discussion about taking it easy, don't move much, don't sneeze or cough, more pain meds, as she turned to leave she turned back around and said, "But I still think you have shingles."  OK.  I'll give her that if she insists.  I wonder what the blood tests will show.  

So, now I have two broken ribs.  I am in pain.  Do I walk on the treadmill again?  I don't know.  I don't like crying when I am not in an emotional situation.  I don't want to look like a quitter.  I don't want people to see me crying because I am walking.  But I don't like having this terrible pain either.  

But I did lose 15 pounds in a month.  Most of it fluid.  But I can fit into a few pairs of pants I haven't worn yet this year.  So I guess things are looking all right.  And I learned last night:  it does hurt to sneeze when you have two broken ribs.  It hurts like heck!