It's Tough

Yes, that's how this whole day has been. Tough. How many times did I hear my dad say that? Now, after one year, it is still tough. I thought if I waited until later in the day the tears would be gone, but they aren't. In fact, they are more than ever. I haven't done much today, just don't have the ambition or desire. It's just been a tough day. I knew that Julie and Kent had gone shopping, and noticed that Ruanne and Larry were gone. I felt Garth and I were here alone. Just like we were last year on this day. But it did snow today, just last last year. I will be curious to see if it always snows on December 18th.

I am so thankful for parents who raised me to appreciate the little things in life. I don't need a lot of "things" to make me happy. Material things are far down on my list. But I love the little things like memories, talking with kids, hugs from grandchildren, pictures, messages, all those little things that really end up to be the big things. I am thankful for sisters who I can call at any time. I am thankful that we had family experiences that we shared, that bind us together.

I am thankful that I know my parents live on, that they are together, and that they are waiting for us to join them in the far, far distant future. As I stood there in Dad's bedroom just a few minutes after he passed away, I hoped that he was standing with Mom and watching me as I looked at him. I felt that they were both there in the room, but for just a fleeting moment. I wished I could have been there alone so I could have felt their presence better, but there were lots of people there, and lots of confusion, so it didn't last long. But I know they are together, and that makes me happy.

I'm sure Dad would say "It's not tough here! So just get busy and do what you have to be doing there." So that is what I'll do. I'll just keep on doing what I have to do. And I hope he can be proud of all of us.