New Year

Just because we start using a new calendar people call it a new year. Yes, the number of the year goes up one, but what makes it a "new year" besides that? During a calendar period I have many new years. One big obvious one is when a new school year starts, or a birthday comes around. But in reality, it has always been a year since a year ago. Why do we place such importance on January 1 except for the fact that the number of the year goes up? But, like at the beginning of each year, be it a school year, age, or whatever, we use it as a time to look at ways we can improve ourself, or to see where we might have improved during the past year.

I have never been good at setting goals. I have always hated it. I never like to write down what I want to do this year, or what I am working toward. I just see where I am now and what I need to do, and go from there. I've heard all the claims that a goal isn't anything but a wish until you write it down, and all those other sayings, but I just don't get motivated by goal setting. Most likely it is because I have never kept those goals in mind, or they are unreachable for me. I'm not a "check off the list" person. Maybe that is why I don't get anything done!

Don't get me wrong. I do work toward some "end", I just don't get motivated by goals. Give me an assignment and I'll complete it. Give me a chore or job that you want done and I'll do it if I have the talent or means. If it is something I am passionate about, I will work extra hard and put more into my project that most others. But written down goals.....nope.

Some might say, "But you did do some things, so you must have had some goals." Yes, I finished college, but not in the usual time-line, and mostly out of necessity. I did get my masters degree because the way was opened up for me, not because that was on my written list of goals. I got my math endorsement the same way. If someone was willing to pay for it, I went for it!

I am expected to write down goals for school, but it doesn't change the way I teach, or what I put into my job because I have very little control in the outcome. The state sets our goals at raising our classroom goals a certain percentage each year. I totally agree to do my job to teach my students the most I can. But I can't open up their heads and make it stick. I can't control what answers they put on the test. I can't control if they have breakfast the morning of the test, or if they had to listen to their parents fight all night. The only control I have is over my lessons, how I see their learning, and preparing to meet their learning styles and needs. Sometimes that doesn't raise the class score over the score the year before. Some students just come with lower scores as a group, so it is difficult to raise those score that percentage each year. Those goals just don't work for me.

So, as this new calendar year begin, I can only look at myself and see where I am and work to be better myself. I know parts of my life that I need to work to improve. In order to do so, I need to allow myself to forget about my past, to let the old person go and work on the new person. If I want to improve myself, I hope others will let the "former" me go as I work on the "new" me. For each day I improve myself, I have to forget one day of the old me. Maybe I can erase my old self and let the new self into its place. I just hope others will let that happen and encourage me on the way. If not, what good is trying to work on a better me?

I plan on just working to be a better me. I hope others will allow me to work on myself. I've never done 2011 before. It is all new to me. I don't want what I was in 2010 to drag me down and not have a good year this year. I will make it my year. I will do it for me, because I need to. I hope by improving myself others will see an improvement in me as well.