Weird Things

The other morning I woke up with very strange thoughts.  I had a very bad dream and I was not happy.  Scared, in fact.  I have this big fear of water.  Not water in a cup, or water in the sink.  Big water.  Like a big lake....very big lake.  Or falling off the side of the road into a very big lake.  I get nervous driving past the east side of Joe's Valley, looking over the edge of the road to the water below.  I fear being in the water and the car sinking.  I can stand sitting by the edge of the lake going fishing, but I would rather not be in a boat out on the lake.  So I was terrified when I woke from my dream.  In my dream I was treading water in a large ocean.  Yes....ocean.  I looked around and saw no one else any where in sight.  It was just me....treading water.  I wasn't in a panic in my dream.  I knew I was in the water and that no one was around.  I also knew that I could not reach the bottom, like I would have tried to do in a swimming pool.  I turned myself around and around, looking for someone or something.  I knew the shore was about 12 miles off in the distance, but also knew that I didn't know which direction to go.  I figured someone would be coming for me, but also knew that it would be next to impossible for them to find me in that vast ocean.  I saw a pod of dolphins swimming near me.  The water bubbled and bubbled where they were swimming.  I could see them swimming around and around.  I wasn't scared, just glad they didn't come any closer.  And then I woke up.

What does that dream mean?  I hope I never find out.

Today I woke up, stood up, and started walking toward the bathroom, which is what I usually do each morning.  I took a few steps and realized that I was actually able to walk with almost a regular gait!  It was wonderful!  I had a little bit of pain in my left hip, but my feet actually moved on their own, without me willing them to move.  I haven't been able to walk like that for years.  It felt so good.  I can't say it has stayed there all day long.  After sitting in church it was still difficult to get these legs moving, but this morning gave me a little bit of hope.

I have been keeping up on logging in my food each day.  I have only gone over my daily points once or twice during the past two weeks, and have never used more than 3 points in my weekly extra points.  Yesterday, after recording a 2.9 loss for the week, we rewarded ourselves with a small pizza.  OK, I ate my share, but it was still only 2 points over my daily limit.  When you don't eat breakfast until 10:00 and it is easy to only eat two meals a day!

I am also improving in my walking.  When I started the middle of January I was only able to walk at a speed of about 0.8 MPH, which is really a crawl.  But my legs were in such pain that I couldn't do much more than that.  And only for about 5 minutes the first day.  I was finally able to work up to the full 20 minutes, but walked very slowly, only about 1.2 MPH.  Then I did the rib thing and had to slow down for a week or so.  Now I am back to trying to work up the speed.  I learned that taking my iPad and reading a book while walking seems to help me.  It is pretty boring looking out the window at the corner of Ace Hardware (nothing against the store, just not much eye-candy there!) or watching the cars drive up to park in front of the State Liquor store.  (Interesting what a drinking problem we have in this county.)  Reading a book takes my mind off the outside world and I can just put the "up" button and start to gradually walk a bit faster each day.  So on Friday I walked the entire 20 minutes (have done so for several weeks), and got up to a 1.5 speed.  The grand total distance was 0.49 miles... Now, don't laugh at that!  That is BIG in my eyes!  I am aiming for that 0.50 mark on Monday!  Considering that a month ago I was only about 0.15 miles in 20 minutes, I think that is pretty good.  And if it helps me, that is even better.  I don't think I am up to running a race yet, but I might be able to walk up the hallway at school a little bit quicker than I did last year.  And if you were carrying the weight I have been carrying, you might be able to walk that far either!  So don't make fun of me.  I need all the support I can get.......

I am so thankful for my wonderful husband.  He is really my greatest supporter.  He goes with me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  He is still recovering from his back surgery, which has been very difficult for him.  Between his back surgery and his knee surgery he has had a very rough year.  You might think, "OK, you are all better."  But it doesn't work that way.  He can't lift things, can't bend as he would like, his legs still ache from the sciatic nerve, he can sit for about an hour, then needs to rest his back by lying down flat for a while.  It is a constant up and down thing for him.  He has had to learn patience, that he can't do the things he wants to do to keep busy.  He has had to learn a new way of life.  He has done hard work all of his life and it is very difficult for him to slow down, but he doesn't have a choice.  His back is worn out from all the years of twisting, lifting, bending, climbing, crawling, and everything he had to do for his jobs.  But in his pain, he supports me.  And I love him so much for that.  I think he is the greatest!  He tries so hard to make my life comfortable.  He brings me lunch each day so we can have time together.  He helps me at night.  He goes to the gym with me, walking beside me if both treadmills are available.  He is the greatest, and I am so glad he is there for me.  I hope I can support him as much as he has supported me.  Love you, dear!