We are coming to the end of a very good month as far as our time with our grandchildren. Barrett, Chantel, and their kids have been here in Utah during July. We were able to have the kids here for a weekend a few weeks ago. We had a great time playing in the pool and fishing together. Morgan and Max seemed to enjoy their time with us, especially the fishing. It was great to have some time with them. When Sunday came we took them up to Salt Lake where we met up with Barrett, Chantel, Nicky, Nancy, Dallas, Tyler, and Tammy's kids for a picnic at Murray City park. Grandpa and I went to the playground with the kids while the adults stayed and visited. I am sure we had the most fun.
This past weekend was Orangeville's 24th of July celebration. We had the Gale children here until Tammy was able to leave from work and come on Friday night. She wanted to run in the 5K so she was here for that. Nicky came on Friday during the day. The Browns came on Friday and spent the weekend camping and fishing. Nicky and I took the kids to the pool on Friday and they had a great time. We all went to the park Friday evening for the lamb fry and got our years supply of lamb. It was great fun and good food. We went to the Wilson's in the late evening to visit and roast marshmallows and enjoyed our time with them.
On Saturday we enjoyed the city parade and races, then we headed to the mountain for more fishing. We got 10 very large fish in 2 hours and had a great time. We were at the camp with the Browns for a few more marshmallows and tin-foil dinners. We all slept really well that night.
Sunday morning the Gales left early, and Nicky followed. We decided to go up and bring the trailer home before church, since church is so late in the day. That way we could enjoy going to church and having the afternoon without worrying about getting the trailer back home later. It worked out really well. The Browns got off and we got ready for church. In all, it was a nice weekend.
We did miss having Barrett and his family around more, but we understand that he was working and she was spending time with her family in northern Utah. It is very difficult to be spread out across the state, and the circumstances were just the way they were, so we totally understand.
I am afraid I might have offended some of my children by making some suggestions to them. I wish I had the "right" as a parent to suggest some things to my kids without them taking offense, but I guess it isn't possible. I realize adult children have the right to make their own decisions, and I'm not against that at all. But the job of parenting never stops so when parents make suggestions they should be taken as a gift, say thank-you and decided what you want to do with it, but don't hold it against your parent for the suggestion. I didn't ask for a "follow-up" on the suggestion, didn't ask "Did you do it or not". So, please don't be upset and think "You apparently didn't ask her/him to do that for us/me because they didn't, so why should I/me do it for her/him?" Just as we told our kids when they were young, (and like I hear my grown children tell their own children)be nice anyway. Just because your sister or brother hits you first, you shouldn't hit them back. Yes, we understand you might feel that way, but it is still wrong. Be nice anyway. Don't hit any way. Share. Try to be nice. Don't speak mean words. Be forgiving. Do your part. How did you feel when it happened to you? Be the better person. Be the one to stop first.
It doesn't change with age. As parents, we still have the responsibility to be parents. Children still have the responsibility to listen. But they also have the right to make their own decisions. Hopefully, that will include forgiving parents for their errors in parenting adults. Please forgive me if you think I was wrong in any request. And, yes, I did ask the others for the same thing as we asked you. It was their choice if they wanted to do as we requested. Don't blame me if others choices were to not follow our request or suggestion.
If the above paragraphs are confusing t you, you most likely don't fit in the situation. If you understand, you have probably walked in our shoes for a while. Hopefully, we can all practice understanding and forgiveness. I know I am still learning, and I hope to become better.
7 comments:
Good post Lori. I am lucky enough that I can make a "suggestion" to any of my kids and they take it very well. They know that I wouldn't suggest anything that wouldn't be best for all concerned. They realize that I'm usually one step removed and I can see what needs to be done. And sometimes they just roll their eyes and nod their heads like they agree and then they don't do it. And that's ok too. It's then their consequences and not mine. And they can dig themselves out but don't ask for my help then. You ain't gonna get it.
Whatever, Julie! You totally make it sound like every time we ignore your advice we're going to end up in jail or dead!
Sometimes I just think it is warm enough outside that I don't need a jacket, thank you very much.
I am not sure what you are talking about so I am assuming it wasnt' towards me but I am going to interject a few things. I think that as a child, and as a ADULT child when my mom tells me I should do something that I can say thank you and still make my own choices. Those choices need to be what is best for me and my family and not be because my mom thinks it is best when it isn't best for me. But that doesn't mean we get offended or that we dont' carem but we need to be within our own boundaries.
That said it was a really great month and a great time camping and spending time with family. I know we have been very thankful for the use of the trailer.
Nancy, you are right. The clue to getting it right is that you choose for yourself, but don't react to me in a negative way just because I suggested something that you choose not to do. So, if Chelsie doesn't wear her jacket outside, she can't be disrepectful to her mom for mom's suggestion. Still love her mom, even if she doesn't agree with her. And don't say "Why didn't you tell Landon to wear HIS coat? He doesn't have his coat on either, so why should I. When Landon gets his coat on, then I will think about it." Chelsie should just say "Thanks Mom, for loving me enough to care." And then go outside without her coat. Right? (or am I wrong?)
I totally agree. I think being respectful as an adult child is the right way. I think sometimes we feel like we have to justify and I do feel like I have to justify. But there are certain boundaries that I have had to set up for myself and my family that if they arent' hurting someone else then that is what i have to do. And if Landon doesn'tw ear a coat he doesn't have to!
Right, when Landon doesn't wear a coat, that's fine. But when he gets cold, don't ask me to keep you warm, or to take care of you if you get sick. The choice was his, he made it and so the consequences are his as well. I'm not going to pay the price for his consequences. He's a big boy.
Right on, Julie! Thanks for letting me use your kids, again!
Post a Comment