How Many Masks Do We Wear?

We got to the hospital on Wednesday morning when I realized I left my book home on my nightstand. So when Garth went into surgery I hurried out to K-mart and picked up another book to read. (I had to be gone shopping while my spouse is in surgery, so it was a quick trip.) I found a book by Jodi Piccoult. You will see her listed on the right as one of my favorite authors at this point in time. The book is Nineteen Seconds. It is about a high school shooting, popularity, bullying, and all the things that affect feelings. It really should be read by every school teacher, every neighbor, every friend, every high school student, everyone who interacts with others. Although it is based on high school students, so much of it still applies to adults because we so many times have the same inferior/superior feelings. As one "popular" boy in the story remarks when asked why he picks on another boy: "Because of there wasn't "them" there wouldn't be "us". The girl in the story isn't sure of her position in the pecking order of things in her high school. She realizes that people look at her with envy when she is thought of as the girlfriend of the hockey star, but that her position can change if she is seen talking with her old friend, who is outside the circle. This book really describes emotions and feelings that I have wondered about for so long.

How many masks do we wear? Are we someone with family, and someone else in the community? Do we try to fit in and know we don't belong? Does it change once we are in middle-age? Or when we get older? Or do we push people out of our circle for whatever reason? Or are we like one of the characters, just want to be alone and we are fine with that, but others aren't fine with it. Who makes the decision for us?

In one place in the story, the young man who has been bullied all his life, mistreated by all the "good" kids, wonders why so many people hate him for what he has done. He asks the question "Why does it matter to them? Where were these people when I was the one being picked on? Why does it matter to them when I am the one to get revenge?" Wow, that hit me. I think of all the little kids in my classroom. Sometimes I don't even know if someone is getting bullied, or feels lonely. So many times we hear it from parents and we feel so badly because we didn't do anything to stop it at the time. But how do you stop something that you don't know is going on? How do you let students know they can talk about it, because if they do they know their life will be worse? What do we do? Why do we even have this problem?

It is a great book. Gets you thinking.