Spring Time

Reasons I love spring.
I love watching the trees get their first tint of green.
I love hearing the birds returning to our pretty little town.
I love watching my peonies jump up out of the ground and get big red buds, then count the days and weeks until the ants come out to chew open the tight leaves so they can finally pop open. (I learned that ants eat the peonies from my Grandmother Olsen, so don't put out ant killer until AFTER the peonies have fully blossomed.)
I love the smell of burning leaves and grass (but my lungs don't).
I love watching my roses start to get green.
I love seeing the water rising in the creek, knowing the water is being let out of the reservior.
I love seeing the grass being watered so it will green up.
I love standing in the warm sunshine at recess.
I love watching the popcorn popping on the apricot trees, and apple trees, and bushes, etc.

I love going outside without a coat or sweater.
Seeing my family coming to visit.
Weddings
Time to read.
Quiet time.

Reasons I don't like spring:
The wind, which never seems to stop blowing (Why don't we invest in those big windmillsThe wind, which dries out my eyes.
The wind, which makes standing on the playground at recess almost unbearable.
The wind, which dries out the trees and grass.?)

The wind, which blows the water over to my neighbor's lawn instead of staying on my lawn.
The wind, which blows the branches of the rose bushes against my house.
The wind, which brings my allergies to my nose and eyes.

Enough about the wind:

Other reasons I don't like spring:
My students get ready to leave me. (Some I am happy they are growing up and leaving me, some I am happy they are leaving me. Read it as you wish):)
State testing at school.
Cleaning up my classroom for the summer.
Trying to get everything back in place.
Inventory
Scheduling summer workshops (Reminds me that I really DON"T have the summer off, like so many people think teachers do.)
Seeing my own kids plan on moving away.
No time to read.
Too much quiet time, not enough quiet time.

Back Home

We are back home after spending a few days helping Barrett and Chantel. They went to Missouri to find a house and we spent the time with Max and Morgan. I was surprised that they didn't fuss more than they did. The worse time was when Daddy called right before bedtime the first night. We had fun just playing with toys, reading books, and "ride in Papa's truck." We visited with Ross, Linda, and family, saw Mary and Clevel for just a few minutes. The wind was terrible on Saturday so I stayed in the truck with the kids while Grandpa went in to say hello. Also, Max was sound asleep, so we didn't want to get him out of the car seat. We were so happy to have time with them before they move away. They were so cute and sweet, even when splashing water all over the bathroom.
Now it is back to work. Hope everyone has a happy week!

Beautiful Sound

I am just taking a few seconds before I forget something. As I arrived at school this morning I was greeted by a huge flock of little birds in the tree outside my classroom. It was FULL of little birds chirping so loudly! It was a beautiful sound. Maybe spring will actually come.
I am planning a marathan session here at school today. Testing begins this morning for my third graders. Then after school I need to get lesson plans ready for two days next week. Getting ready for one day usually takes me 3 hours, so I don't know if I will get home tonight until...who knows when.

Busy Schedule

Just looking over our schedule for the next two months. Here is a short list of what we are doing:
This weekend - going to Logan to sit with the grandkids while Barrett and Chantel go house hunting in Missouri.
April 28 - Field Trip
April 29 - Math training
May 2-4 USEA conference, Moab (taking the trailer for the weekend)
May 16 -18 Missouri for Barrett's graduation (from medical school)
May 20 - Field trip to the San Rafael Swell
May 24 - School is out (Lots of school stuff between now and the end of school)
Sometime the two weeks after school is out we will be moving Barrett and Chantel to Missouri.
The week of June 10 - Math endorsement class
June 25 - 27 Core Academy
July - Computer training at Cottonwood by ME (I have to get stuff ready for this)
August 5, 6 - Math training sessions

Who says we have vacation? I can see the end of summer from here!

The Lord's Help

This simple event might not mean anything to others, and you might think I am crazy about thinking someone was watching over me, but I need to recognize all the little things and little ways the Lord might be helping me. I am trying to be more watchful and aware of His help in my life, so I choose to look at this as one of his tender mercies toward me.

My school district had a training meeting for our new math program set for April 15 and April 16. For months we have scheduled around this date so we were sure to be there at this mandatory training. The third grade teachers were scheduled for the Wednesday sessions. When it came time for scheduling one of our field trips, I scheduled around this date and made our plans for the 29th. During the Tuesday session of training it became necessary for the Wednesday training to be cancelled and rescheduled to a later date. Guess what date? You are right! My field trip day! So now my students trip was replaced by a "mandatory" 3 hour training session. I was furious. Not that the trainer had to leave on an emergency, but that I was expected to just change everything.

It isn't as simple as just a phone call. You have to check with the hospital (where we learn about taking care of our bodies), and Smith's store (where we learn about eating healthy foods), the park (for lunch) and the bowling alley (for exercise). Not to mention the bus garage who fights you for every bus request this time of year. But, hey, the Health District is paying for the bus so give us one! Trying to reschedule all of these places so we can go in one trip was just more than I could stand to think of.

So, how does the Lord fit in to this situations? My district supervisor called to say he had told our school nurse that she would have to reschedule us, so she called the store and found out she had given them the right day, and we were scheduled to be there on a Monday, not Tuesday. Then she called the hospital and everything was fine for us to change to Monday. The bus garage were already told that they had to accommodate us because of the emergency change, so that was fine. Now, just the bowling alley. Our sweet school secretary called and they were able to have us on Monday as well. Now all I have to do is get the message out to the parents so they can still come a chaperones. I know it would never have worked out if the Lord wasn't aware of how frustrated I was about rescheduling all of these things.

Life Changes

Our neighborhood has been blessed by having two children with Downs Syndrome. Our friend, Jay Mark, just lost his wife to cancer in December and was left with his two young men to continue raising. Jared is over 30 and Justin is around 24. Jared has taken care of Justin all of his life. On Thursday Justin had a fall that resulted in a shattered femur. The last thing I heard he is in UofU hospital. His heart has always been very bad and the doctors don't know if he would survive an operation to repair his leg. The choices aren't very good for him. I know this is hard on both Jared and Jay, as well as all of the rest of the family. They need all our faith and prayers.

Another change of life has happened to our good home teacher, Ted. At our home he has been known simply as Ted, not Bro. Thomas, just Ted. He has been such a faithful home teacher. When Bro. Law was on his missions, Ted came with his wife, or Al Lemons, or Dixon Peacock to complete his home teaching every month. There hasn't been many months in the past 18 years that Ted hasn't been in our home. You have to know Ted to understand how dedicated he is to our family. Ted just doesn't to people. He is not a crowd person. He prefers to be alone and not bothered. Ted is a gruff, hard man and I know he would smile when I say that. He is an old sailor with tattos on his arms. He can't talk because years ago he had throat cancer and has a trach hole. He does talk with us by covering the hole and whispering a few words at a time. He laughs and he cries with us. He loves our children so much and enjoyed watching them grow up and all of their accomplishments. He is truly a great friend to us. The change in his life is that he has reached the point that his family needs to have him in a retirement, extended care facility. His memory is going, he can't take care of himself any more. He doesn't eat properly and doesn't remember his personal care. He is moving to Turnquist Center in Elmo today. His daughter-in-law asked Garth if Ted had come home teaching the other night because when she went to get him ready for bed he was dressed in his suit and said he had to go home teaching. It is so touching to know that he cares about us so much that his few memories are coming to visit us. We all love him so much and we will miss his visits. We will be visiting him now, and hope to be able to make his life as happy as he has made ours.

Life Changing Experience

Some of the people whose blogs I look at have been writing about life changing experiences so I thought I might share a thought or two that I have. I know that many people have experiences that change their lives for the better, make them more cautious, more aware of others feeling, better wives and/or mothers, more worried, more self-assured, or any other emotion or quality. Our experiences are what make us US. I am a reflection of my own experiences, just as you are a reflection of your own experiences. I know the Lord gives us these experiences so we can gain knowledge that we might not otherwise have need to learn. I don't believe that the Lord uses our experiences as a punishment or to "teach you a lesson" in a negative way, but that through our experiences we can understand others and use our knowledge to help others in similar situations.

Yesterday was my sister's birthday and after talking with her I have been thinking a lot about one of my life changing experiences. We lost our mother when she (Mom) was only 45 years old. Yesterday was my sister's 45th birthday. She is the last of us four girls to reach the age our mom never lived past. I think that each of us had great anxiety as we approached our 45th birthdays. I know that many people lose parents at a young age, but when it happens to you it is hard to deal with.

I often feel jealous of my peers who have great relationships with their mother. I never got to that point in my life. Not that my relationship was bad, I think it was fine and normal for the age we both were. But I was just starting to get my family and I missed all those times of watching my mom with my children. I know I had a few more years of this than my sister had, but none of us had enough time. I remember calling Aunt Lorene, Aunt Barbara, Aunt Diane, or Grandma for advice, as well as my own mother-in-law. But no one can take the place of Mom. I reached out to others to fill that void, but it was never filled, even though so many were so kind and there when they were needed.

My own children know how difficult Mother's Day is for me. I know in my heart that my children needed to love ME on Mother's Day, but it was always so hard to sit in church and hear "girls" saying how they don't know what they would do without their mothers. YOU LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT! You get a new normal in your life.

Do you remember what it feels like when you have an infection on some part of your body? It seems like that part of your body is bumped more, hurts more, gets used more than any other part. Is it really that much more important that the other parts of your body, or is it just hurting more because it is there? Which ever part hurts, it just plain hurts. We can't compare our hurting hearts with others hurting hearts. We just know that our hearts hurt. My hurt is no worse or better than yours.

Yes, you miss so much, but you were chosen to experience this. Did the Lord "punish me" by taking my mother? Of course not. Was my mother "better off" in heaven than with me? That thought doesn't help take the pain away. I needed my mom, my sisters need their mom, my dad needed his wife. Wasn't there another way to learn whatever lesson we needed to learn? What can I take from that experience that might be helpful to others?

Losing a parent while you are still raising a young family is certainly a life-changing experience, just as losing a parent would be whether you are in your mid-50's, mid-40's or teens. It is something you have to deal with in your own way. I witnessed my Grandmother crying when she lost her child. It didn't matter to her that her baby was 45 years old. She didn't have enough time with her child. It still hurt, and it wasn't easy for anyone. Losing someone never is.

I know from the time Mom died I have been more afraid, for lack of a better word, more afraid of dying young myself. And now that I am "older" than she was, I am still afraid because I want to do so much still in my life. I had a cough this past year that did not go away all winter. Mom had a cough for several months before she went into the hospital. I worried, "Is this the same thing?" I was too nervous to go find out. Uncertainty was better than knowing. Did I deal with it right? Probably not. But I was scared, and didn't know how to handle it.

Avoidance was my own way of dealing. Tell me I was wrong, but that was my choice and my only way of dealing. I can't confront people, or events or things. That is just my way. I have found through my experiences that confrontation brings sorrow. As long as Mom was not in the hospital things were alright. I know that is wrong. She was sick before she went into the hospital. But when we didn't know what was wrong Mom was there. As soon as we found out what was wrong, she was gone. Confronting it brought sorrow.

There have been a few other times I have confronted people and it has always brought sorrow to me. I just don't want it. That is just my way and since this is my life I have to do what I need to do to face it. Did Mom's death change my life? Yes, in a big way. I had to learn to be the best mom I could without a living example, and I did the best I could, but I know it wasn't good enough. No one is ever good enough at what they want to do because no one is perfect.

I learned to depend on Christ to help me through the tough times, but even now I faulter at that as well. We all have our experience we need to deal with. I wouldn't trade mine for anyone else's. I can handle mine, I don't know how I would handle other problems. But then, some people say the same about losing a mom while young. The Lord doesn't say "You get the worst problems and you get easier ones." We have what we have. It is what we do with them that determines what we become.

I see my cousins battling with breast cancer and I wouldn't take that if I had the choice of it or Mom back. I see my neighbor bury his wife as a result of cancer and be left with 2 Downs Syndrome boys (Justin in the hospital with a broken leg as of today.). Would I like that problem instead of mine? No. I see my daughters with the blessings of their experiences with their beautiful children and I realize it has been so difficult and such life-changing experiences. I see family members with debt, divorce, health problems, struggles of all kinds. We can't compare problems, we can just learn to confront our own with faith and trust in the Lord. Only with His divine help can we see the blessings that are ours because of our life-changing experiences. The question is, did this experience change my life for the good or the bad. And who makes that choice?

New Diet

I just found the best, new diet that I wouldn't suggest to anyone. It is called the 48 hour bug. You can lose at least 5 pounds in 48 hours, but let me warn you, it isn't fun! My stomach muscles hurt so much and I am not going to even look at food for a few more days. I hope no one else gets this. Lexi has been home for 3 days with almost the same symptons, but she also had hives. Believe me, my sympathies if you get this terrible bug.

I spent Monday afternoon getting ready for a substitute for school for Tuesday. We were going to SLC to be with Nicky during her colonoscopy. I am so thankful I was ready for the sub because if I hadn't been planning on going, I would have needed the substitute anyway. I was feeling a bit queezy Monday night (can't spell that nauseated word) and didn't want to eat any during the evening. By Tuesday morning it was full-blown sick. My stomach and lower intestine system was doing overtime, churning and growling. I said I could have done the colonoscopy without any of the pre-clean-out stuff. It kept on all the way home, all night and even this morning I am still a bit unsettled. I am just thankful I had plans for school to be covered yesterday.
Nicky went through everything just fine. No problems. The people at the Huntsman Center were very nice and I was impressed with them. Other than being sick, it was an alright experience.
Got to go see what damage was done in my classroom. I feel very confident with my aide helping the substitute. The lady who substituted seems to be able to do a good job with my class, so I am also thankful for her.

Happy Birthday, Chantel

I will spare you the singing! Just want to wish my daughter (married to my son), Chantel, a very happy birthday. As usual, the card is in the mail. And it isn't a serious one! I just laughed and had to buy it because I knew you would appreciate the humor after your diet this past summer. Have a happy birthday!

Update

My asthma symptoms came back just 4 weeks off the medrol. My artificial knee was really hurting and making it difficult to walk without a limp. I couldn't walk down the hallway without getting winded, let alone up to the office. Walking my class to the gym was torture! My ears were plugged up and my cough started again. So now???
I went with Garth to get a shot in his foot to calm down the pain between his toes, and while there I gave Lowell (the greatest PA in the world) a pamphlet about the CSS. He was really interested and went out to the desk and sent in a prescription for another medrol pac and said to get an appointment with the doctors at the University. I didn't tell him my own doctor, Dr. Labrum had already prescribed that same treatment. I am lucky to have two great doctors watching over me. Now I just need to call up there and find an appointment between all my other running around.

I also had an appointment the Dr. Peterson, the ENT (graduate from KCOM). During a 3-hour appointment I had several tests, including a hearing test. My right ear is at 20% loss, but coming back they say. There is no fluid behind the eardrum, just lots of negative pressure, which results in the loss of hearing. We decided to try the steroid spray for 6 weeks, then go back in and see how it is working. If all the hearing isn't better, or if it returns again, we will go for the permanent adult tubes, which can be done right there in the office.
I can feel a difference today, not quite so deaf. Could it be the spray and medrol working together? I hope it all clears up. I have too much to do in the next month and a half.

We travel to SLC on Monday night to be up there with Nicky for her procedure on Tuesday. We go to Logan in a few weeks to watch the kids while Barrett and Chantel go house hunting in Missouri. On April 29 my class has a field trip to Price. It is so fun to see the kids bowling for their first time! Then back to Dr. Peterson the day we leave to go to the airport for our trip to Missouri. I can't wait to see Barrett actually graduating! I feel honored to have seen his high school, university, and medical school graduations. Then after that we have the usual end of school activities. All this, not to mention all the birthdays and school trainings going on. I just don't have time to be sick!

Hope everyone else is feeling better!